Fianlly have closure but its made me angry

I thought i would post here to vent as it's been some time and i got a bit triggered recently!

I've had no contact with my ex since last year (blocked, erased, un-followed and +44'd) and I'm happily 9 months into a new relationship. Anyway for some reason i decided to click her name on facebook ,as she commented on a mutual friends post, maybe i did it because this time last year we were on a break but not fully broken up. So i see a post on her page saying she has been in a relationship with this guy for 1 year, meaning she was in a relationship with him whilst we were on the break!!!

I have a big thing about trust and can;t stand liars so I am literally livid that she was obviously cheating on me, then got into a relationship with another guy before there was an official end of, then have the cheek to keep talking to me, have a go at me for talking to other girls post official break up saying it was a bit soon, then deny she was in a relationship when i asked about things i heard until October last year when i cut her off and she was in a relationship all along!!!!!

I'm more angry at myself for allowing her to use my feelings to manipulate me and make me feel bad! Anyway guess i just needed to get this out as no one know how angry i am and that I've seen this!

I guess i have the closure i wanted and the answers to the question i thought at the time, but boy it's made me angry!

Well, you guys were on break, in her mind could of mean many different thing. In your mind it was something else. Perhaps she saw it as an opportunity to try new things and see how should would like it. you took it as just away from each other but not doing anything with anyone else. She viewed it as not cheating while on break, you looked at it differently.

This was your mistake to think this way. The idea's of the break were just too different. Now everything else about the lying and such shows character. You are already in a relationship with someone else that you are happy about. Let this one time emotion flow through you and don't project it outside to friends/family/gf. Then move on like you have been. As if nothing happened because if she is a liar, who is to say that maybe she didn't put that up there just for you to see? She probably know's you have moved on and probably wanted you to see it. Or maybe the entire thing is true, but the end of the day, who the hell really cares? Keep on moving

People only post the absolute truth on Facebook??? I did not know that. I take most everything with a grain of salt, or check Snopes whenever possible.

It always stinks when something like that happens.

But it's water under bridge. That's why it's never good to peek in on what an ex is doing (but we all do it). Just keep moving forward.

That says more about who she is, than about how she felt about you. To berate you for talking to girls, meanwhile having her own new bf....what a self-centered b*tch.

People only post the absolute truth on Facebook??? I did not know that. I take most everything with a grain of salt, or check Snopes whenever possible.

I can't see why she'd have any other reason to state that specific month as the start of her new relationship, other than it was in fact when it started.

OP:

Unfortunately I've caught you out on misinformation here. If you have blocked her on Facebook, then it is impossible to check her profile. So you either unblocked her to check, never blocked her in the first place, or some other reason. Not that it really matters how you obtained this information or what process you took to find it.

Anyway, there's a simple take away from this, and that is she wasn't the right one for you. It's arguable what people can do when they go on a break, but if you hadn't communicated boundaries then it may be the case she decided to date during said break. In which case, I'd question the loyalty / commitment of someone willing to jump to another so soon, and ultimately come to the conclusion she wasn't worth it.

Reminds me of Ross and Rachel on Friends... WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, a break from your relationship means you are no longer exclusive, which means she can date other people.

Anyway, as you said, it's the closure you needed, re-block her on Facebook and continue on your journey to healing.

Usually when people ask for a break, they already have a new pony saddled up and ready for a test ride. So now you know for certain that this was your case as well. I don't know. I think sometimes anger is healthy as it helps you let go and move on. Maybe in your case let go whatever guilt and doubts you may have been feeling about the break you. Now you KNOW your gut was right all along. No more doubts, no more guessing and second guessing.

I'd focus on your new relationship and not making the same mistakes again. Take what good you've learned, leave the bad behind and keep on moving on.

I don't see why you'd care. Whatever she did led you to the happier 9 month relationship, who you care about much more, right?

"I've had no contact with my ex since last year (blocked, erased, un-followed and +44'd) and I'm happily 9 months into a new relationship."

Wait... what???

How did you manage to check up on her when you already dropped her completely from your life?

Feels like you jumped into a relationship pretty quickly too...?

Either focus on the new one or dump the girl.

Just to clarify - The break was just a 'i need to get the spark back so i just need a few weeks to miss you, everything will be fine' not a 'lets go on a break as i don't want to be with you anymore' we still spoke every day and chilled out together. I'm just angry because of the lies as it's a big pet peeve of mine, i get pissed off even if i find a friend has lied to me about something although the situation with an ex is a little less forgiving. I certainly wouldn't go back there in a million years, not when you go on a break and within for a month and within that month shes already in a new relationship then blatantly lies that shes not for 3 months after (that certainly means she was cheating which led to the break and as dancingfool said a new pony was already saddled up).

When i say blocked that was just on the phone, whatsapp that kinda stuff, facebook was just an unfriend and unfollow, delete pics and block from memories coming up.....i just saw a comment on a mutual friends post, i don't even know why i decided to click on her name, but i did, I've not even tried to look her up once since, curiosity i guess i think we are mostly all guilty of that at some point!

My current relationship is totally different and everything is fine on that front so i'm happy, I'm not looking to front my ex on the lies or make any kind of contact I'll let karma do it's work as it eventually will! All I'm saying is i got the truth to the questions i thought at the time and i can still hold my head up high and carry on with life as it's closure on that part of my past.

Just to clarify - The break was just a 'i need to get the spark back so i just need a few weeks to miss you, everything will be fine' not a 'lets go on a break as i don't want to be with you anymore' we still spoke every day and chilled out together. I'm just angry because of the lies as it's a big pet peeve of mine, i get pissed off even if i find a friend has lied to me about something although the situation with an ex is a little less forgiving. I certainly wouldn't go back there in a million years, not when you go on a break and within for a month and within that month shes already in a new relationship then blatantly lies that shes not for 3 months after (that certainly means she was cheating which led to the break and as dancingfool said a new pony was already saddled up).

 

When i say blocked that was just on the phone, whatsapp that kinda stuff, facebook was just an unfriend and unfollow, delete pics and block from memories coming up.....i just saw a comment on a mutual friends post, i don't even know why i decided to click on her name, but i did, I've not even tried to look her up once since, curiosity i guess i think we are mostly all guilty of that at some point!

 

My current relationship is totally different and everything is fine on that front so i'm happy, I'm not looking to front my ex on the lies or make any kind of contact I'll let karma do it's work as it eventually will! All I'm saying is i got the truth to the questions i thought at the time and i can still hold my head up high and carry on with life as it's closure on that part of my past.

Are you in love with your new girlfriend?

I personally find that once i am in a happy and serious relationship, past anger or irritations from former relationships are short lived.

Are you in love with your new girlfriend?

 

I personally find that once i am in a happy and serious relationship, past anger or irritations from former relationships are short lived.

Yep. Either your old business is done and irrelevant, or you're not exactly new relationship material.

Head high, and decide where you want to stand.