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Thread: What is this?

  1. #1

    What is this?

    I'm an avid online gamer. I just really enjoy gaming, nothing more than that. I never have utilized my games for anything other than what their purpose was, gaming and socializing. Recently I struck the interest of a gentlemen. Me being me, and quite used to gentlemen gamers enjoying us female gamers, I threw up my stop sign and carried on. I then joined his guild where we got to know one another a bit more just by socializing amongst our guildmates. Sweet! A new friend and he's not all weird and awkward! We would sit and chat or have fun banter in our guild chat. Not long did it take for us to move into a private chat. We have incredibly fascinating conversations. We share so many interests. I could pick his brain for the next century and would never get bored, he's said the same for me. Completely and utterly infatuated by him, and the feelings are reciprocated. He is just utterly intellectually stimulating, and I love it! We moved into extreme personal backgrounds. Our stories and experiences. I told him mine, he told me his. Completely honest and bare with one another. Here is the kicker, he has a live-in girlfriend whom he has 3 children with. He told me it was one of those situations where they're not together to be with one another they're together for the children. UUUUUGH. What?! He stated that she was a one-night stand that ended poorly and he stepped up where he was needed. Unfortunately, he has no connection with her. I'm not going to tell him what to do. He's said he feels a bit guilty for indulging in me so much, but he's said he feels such a strong connection to me. He's able to connect with me in extraordinary ways. Just recently we've gotten a little more risque with our conversations. He's all around quite an extraordinary person, and again the feelings are reciprocated. We are totally drawn to one another, all through meeting over a game. Here's the other kicker.. he lives in the UK and I live in the US. I KNOW IT'S RIDICULOUS! I'm just not sure what to do with all of this. The chances are completely slim and close to impossible. He does travel quite often for work, but rarely to the US. I'm all over the place with my feelings. I'm not even sure how to process about his situation. I can't even believe you can have feelings for someone across the ocean, over the phone/online. It just sounds quite crazy to me. Any advice, tips, harsh words, name calling.. I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS, I need guidance!

  2. #2
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    Well he's overseas, he's got a girlfriend and three kids. He's the untrainable 'celebrity' crush. You know, where the chances of being with him are slim but the fantasizing is so good he can be your dream guy without any real life issues. With that being said and as harsh as this may come across you need to disengage from him and get away from the internet and meet real guys that live near you.

    You really don't know him and it's hard to gage him being honest about how he feels for his girlfriend over the phone. I'm sure if it was so awful kids or not he would be single.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You can't honestly believe him, can you?

    You don't get a one night stand pregnant, THREE times. He was/is obviously in love with this woman but he's grown bored and decided to mess about online.
    That does not mean he is willing to give up his family or his girlfriend (she might even be his wife).

    He is a cheater, plain and simple. You are the side piece (for now) while he is bored. But it isn't real.
    Stop allowing yourself to be used. He's not serious about you, nor will he ever be.

    I feel sorry for his girlfriend/wife. She no doubt thinks everything is good and this jerk is cheating behind her back.
    He is no prize.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Block, delete & move on.
    This guy is emotionally cheating with you.
    The whole "my gf doesnt understand me" crap is classic cheater lingo.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    And he's in UK? Seriously...give it up.

    Even if his relationship doesn't work out, he will never be willing to move to another country and leave his children.

    Call it a day and stop playing with the deadbeat dad/cheating boyfriend.

  7. #6
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    Reading this, made me believe the game was WOW.

    When you hear having a current girlfriend + children + never met in person + in a different country & time zone...I would like to believe most people would think this combination is a complete no go for a relationship. As pointed out, how can this lady be a one night stand, but he continues to keep having children with her? You can step up, but you don't have to be with the biological parent. Co-parenting is a real thing.

    He is feeding you lines in order to minimize his situation. He's not just in it for the kids, or he wouldn't have been intimate with his baby mama time and again, continuing to knock her up. He had to wait out 3 separate 9 month periods at least to still be with her now, so they've been together for quite some time. He's had plenty enough time to figure out how to leave the relationship if he legitimately wanted to, while keeping ties with his kids. He doesn't want to. He just wants to cheat. He won't leave her for you.

    You do not know this guy at all. I know, I've been in your shoes. So believe me when I say, when you meet in person, it is not the same. You have romanticized the communication, to a point, in your head. When the time comes to finally meet is when your expectations fall short. I urge you to not pursue this. You should stop private messaging him. Switch guilds if needed.

  8. #7
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    Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every guy you meet who has a wife or a girlfriend will give a single girl like you the same excuse and hope they can get a booty call out of it. You need to back away from this guy and stop fantasizing about him. Don't waste your time. Go out and meet someone who lives close to you.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member Chai's Avatar
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    I understand the pull of this relationship. I have just recently ended a cyber relationship of my own and I know how easy it is to get caught up in the 'connection'. But I agree with the others above though - this is going nowhere. He is just feeding you spin to hook you with regard to his girlfriend and three kids. He wants you to overlook his relationship so he fed you some story about no emotional connection and a one night stand. It is just bull****, in my opinion.

    From my experience you could lose years of your life playing out some online relationship that never progresses and never goes anywhere. He is in a different country and you have never met face to face. You will have endless discussions and spend all your time and the best part of your heart and soul and it is likely to go absolutely nowhere. People are so incredibly different in real life. From my experiences with online dating, the person you 'chat' to, online is never a very good indication of the person you 'talk' to face to face.

    I know it might be hard, but I think you need to go No Contact as soon as you can so that you can heal and move on.

  10. #9

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    When other people play video games, they meet good friends or potential love interests.

    When LightWave93 play video games, he gets told to die of cancer because he picked a character someone didn't like.

    I don't even understand how situations like yours even arise.

    Anyway, very simple solution; block and delete them, leave the guild if you must. You can still stay in contact with other individuals if you wish, but remaining as part of a team still keeps you in semi-contact with the guy. No idea what his intentions are, but this isn't a good thing to have going on; you have no idea if he's being truthful about his "girlfriend" situation and the distance is a big issue. I'm not one to shut down ideas of long-distance relationships, but there's too many factors at play here to make this infatuation worthwhile.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He's not being "honest and bare" about anything. Just a snake who is feeding you lines and wasting time online while he lies to and ignores his partner. You know what to do. The best thing would be to enjoy gaming but get on some dating apps and meet real life men. Perhaps step away from the screen, make sure there's no online/gaming addiction and get more involved in real life. Getting sucked into a fantasy world like this will make you lonelier in the long run.
    Originally Posted by Troubleshoot
    he has a live-in girlfriend whom he has 3 children with. He told me it was one of those situations where they're not together to be with one another they're together for the children. He stated that she was a one-night stand that ended poorly and he stepped up where he was needed. Unfortunately, he has no connection with her.

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