Bf ignored texts on holiday

Hey guys

This may be a dumb and typical question but its bothering me and i dont have anyone in my personal life i can ask for help from.

My boyfriend is in italy with his parents. Before he left he said he would try to talk to me if he could get wifi

A week goes by, i see he's been active on facebook but he doesnt message me. Eventually i reach out to ask how he's doing and that i miss him. The message gets left on read a few days later which was 2 nights ago and he hasnt been active since.

Generally speaking if a guy can take seconds to read your message then he can take seconds to reply unless he doesnt really care about you or wanna talk to you, right?

Im not going to reach out again, I'll wait for him to get back. But its been 2 weeks since we last spoke and im just hurt that he doesnt miss me enough to reply to that even when he said he'd try to talk. He hasnt tried at all. Im confused on what to think. Even if you're busy or having fun you'd still try to make a small effort for someone you supposedly care about wouldn't you?

Should i bring this up and tell him it hurt me? And also do you think he just doesnt care about me that much?

What kind of message did you send him? Was it on whatsapp or on social media? How long have you been dating? It sounds like he made a preemptive disclaimer that he did not want to stay in touch while he was away, but didn't want to hurt your feelings or argue about it before he left. Are you concerned that he has a love interest back home?

Before he left he said he would try to talk to me if he could get wifi. Eventually i reach out to ask how he's doing and that i miss him.

If he's been active on FB, then he's had enough time to get in touch with you as well. He's chosen not to, for whatever reason.

How long have you been dating, and how were things between you two prior to his departure?

I've clicked on messages on FB but either just glanced at them or in some cases lost the connection to WiFi/got unexpectedly busy or distracted, etc. So it shows up as read and I did not read it. But yes, being out of touch for two weeks is quite a long time.

I'd be more upset if my lady were in Italy and wasting the experience by texting me.

By active on facebook, do you mean posting pictures and such? Or you're simply seeing the green dot? If the latter, depending on his phone's OS and the settings of his phone and/or app, it could simply be pinging him online whenever he catches a stray WiFi signal.

At the end of the day, it's up to you to gauge how big an issue this is. At face value, I wouldn't take radio silence during a trip abroad to be with family as a big issue. But I don't know how long you've been together, how strong your relationship is, whether you two had any problems leading up to his trip (were you insecure about the idea of him traveling abroad for a couple weeks?). It's rarely a good practice to forego contextualizing something like this within the broader relationship.

I don't know what your relationship is like nor how long you've been together. But my advice when you are stressing about something you can't do anything about right now is to find a way to deal with those anxious feelings and put it out of mind. Go do fun things ! You can discuss it when he comes back. Do not send messages trying to talk about it while he's away.

When you do discuss it, avoid personalizing it. You can simply say 'hey, I realized when you were gone that I really like if we stay in touch 'specific amount you need '. And when deciding how much you need versus just like, take into account that he'd shown you he doesn't need much contact at all when away.

I'm guessing you've not been together that long and/or you guys are quite young . Because this issue just doesn't come up once you've been with someone a while and each know what the other needs and appreciates.

What kind of message did you send him? Was it on whatsapp or on social media? How long have you been dating? It sounds like he made a preemptive disclaimer that he did not want to stay in touch while he was away, but didn't want to hurt your feelings or argue about it before he left. Are you concerned that he has a love interest back home?

It was on facebook, I saw that my message was "read"

we have been dating for about 11 and a half months now, we became long distance about 4 months into the relationship though because I had to move away

I'm not concerned that he has a new love interest, I'm concerned he doesn't care about our relationship as much as I do. I reached out, why couldn't he?

If he's been active on FB, then he's had enough time to get in touch with you as well. He's chosen not to, for whatever reason.

 

How long have you been dating, and how were things between you two prior to his departure?

11 and a half months (we have been long distance for like 7 months though)

before he left we were communicating as normal and everything seemed fine. he was happy and so was I. Then he went away with his family and I just never heard from him since. He never even told me when he'd be back. its just weird he couldn't even text me to say he's busy, he flat out ignored me.

Sorry to hear this. LDRs are very hard. How often do you see each other in person? Unfortunately your instincts seem correct about his interest level waning and he seems to be tiptoeing out of the relationship. All you can do is wait for a response and use this time to reflect if this is what you want.

I'm concerned he doesn't care about our relationship as much as I do. I reached out, why couldn't he?