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Thread: Boyfriend's Daughter

  1. #1
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    Boyfriend's Daughter

    I've been with my bf for six months and things are going really well. However he's still legally married. They've been separated for three years and have a 5 year old daughter.
    We talked about me meeting her the other night but his relatonship with her is very fragile and he's had to really battle with the mum to get the little access he has. So
    a) he doesn't want to damage anything with the daughter and
    b) has said he doesn't know where to start with introducing her to me, etc.
    Has anyone else been in this situaton/do you have advice?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He's right to delay meeting for both the reasons you cited. He's not even gone through the divorce yet and 6 mos is way too soon. How often does he have her? Does that interfere with dating? What is the hurry? As long as the dating is going well and progressing as you would like, leave his family business up to him.
    Originally Posted by Everlong13
    I've been with my bf for six months. he's still legally married. he's had to really battle with the mum to get the little access he has.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    "Separated" drama aside, him not wanting to introduce you to his 5 year old daughter who's probably at the peak age of impressionability is called being a responsible parent. It could also be used as fuel against him in a custody hearing.

    Why are you in such a rush to meet her?

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    Gold Member brienoch's Avatar
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    Yeah, I agree. Sounds like that part of his life is actually pretty stressful, and having you bug him or question him about not being able to meet his daughter yet could just be adding to the stress. You've only been dating 6 months, he's still married (which is a bit touchy and weird especially since you haven't mentioned any divorce proceedings yet they've been separated for three years...), I would not pressure it and just enjoy your relationship and see where it goes.

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  6. #5
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    No child should be introduced unless the relationship will be permanent. Young children should not have people revolving in and out of their life . It is very damaging .

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    In your shoes, I'd tell him to call you once his divorce is final. Separated so long, but not even filed for divorce = unfinished business with his wife and whatever is between them, he isn't willing to rock that boat. If you are OK with a temporary convenience type relationship, carry on. If you are looking for something long term and serious, keep looking somewhere else.

  8. #7
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    Why has he not filed for divorce?

  9. #8
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    He’s not filed for divorce yet as he’s trying to amicably arrange access to his daughter rather than have a judge dictate.

    It’s not a temporary convenience thing but thanks for that.

    He and her mother are not rotating people in and out the child’s life, that’s the point. He wants me to meet her at some point but doesn’t know how to go about it.

    And FYI I’m not ‘bugging’ him or putting pressure on him about anything. We had an adult discussion about where things are going.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately that sounds like a nonsense excuse. Just drop the subject of meeting his daughter.
    Originally Posted by Everlong13
    He’s not filed for divorce yet as he’s trying to amicably arrange access to his daughter rather than have a judge dictate.

  11. #10
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    Thankfully I know and trust him and his motivations. I have no reason to doubt him.

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