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Thread: Boyfriend's Daughter

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Everlong13
    He’s not filed for divorce yet as he’s trying to amicably arrange access to his daughter rather than have a judge dictate.

    It’s not a temporary convenience thing but thanks for that.

    He and her mother are not rotating people in and out the child’s life, that’s the point. He wants me to meet her at some point but doesn’t know how to go about it.

    And FYI I’m not ‘bugging’ him or putting pressure on him about anything. We had an adult discussion about where things are going.
    How does filing for divorce prevent an "amicable" arrangement? Does he think a judge will completely disregard any agreement he and his wife come to just because?

    And it's been THREE YEARS and they still have not "amicably arranged" access to the daughter? What could possibly be taking that long?

    Would you be content to be the girlfriend for possibly years while he and his wife keep working on "amicably arranging" an agreement? Perhaps you're fine with not being able to marry him, I don't know.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member DissyLu's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Everlong13
    Thankfully I know and trust him and his motivations. I have no reason to doubt him.
    Then what is the concern?

    Me personally, I see problems with this situation

    Separated for 3 years but no divorce in sight... something is fishy there

    But he is doing the right thing by waiting to introduce you to his daughter. People shouldn't come and go, in and out of a child's life. Children need stability. 6 months dating is way too early to meet someone's child especially considering your relationship with this guy probably won't go anywhere anyway.

  3. #13
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    I forgot how jaded people can be on here. I asked for advice for him on balancing the two things, instead all I’ve seen from most replies is little digs.

  4. #14
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    DissyLu what a snide thing to say.

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  6. #15
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    They're not "digs".

    I asked why it's taking three years and counting to "amicably agree" on "access" to the daughter.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    They're not "digs".
    I asked why it's taking three years and counting to "amicably agree" on "access" to the daughter.
    Others have said I’m ‘bugging’ him and that the relationship won’t last anyway. Pretty hostile uncalled for digs I’d say and not actually answering the OP.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Everlong13
    Others have said I’m ‘bugging’ him and that the relationship won’t last anyway. Pretty hostile uncalled for digs I’d say and not actually answering the OP.
    I didn't read in your OP that you were "bugging" him about meeting the daughter. So, yeah.

    But...why again is it taking three years plus to "amicably agree" on access to the child?

  9. #18
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    We are concerned for the child’s welfare because some of us have been that child before.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Look, according to what he has told you, the mother is being difficult about visitation, it's been three years and they haven't managed to agree and he is walking on eggshells. He is basically at her whim and instead of going to court and settling the issue properly and getting proper visitation in place, he is willing to play this game. Do you see how what he is claiming makes exactly zero sense? You probably do deep down, but I also suspect that you are right now head over heels for him and don't want to hear or see anything wrong about this. So, your only option is to forget meeting the child and carry on just dating him.

  11. #20
    Bronze Member DissyLu's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Everlong13
    DissyLu what a snide thing to say.
    I'm sorry if my comment came across that way, I just think the writing is on the wall with this situation

    How can your relationship with this man progress when he's still married?

    This was a tangled web to get caught up in

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