Do I have a right to be upset?

My bf and I are currently living about 70 mins from eachother and we each work full time jobs. I got into a motorcycle accident a few nights ago and while I am recovering and will eventually be okay, I was hoping he would come visit me asap. Hes currently on a military trip, coming back on Monday and then going back to work. I was hoping he'd come visit me after work one day. However he said he will probably be tired and will try at a later time.

I'm kind of upset. I understand he will be tired, and will try to visit later on, but he has a car and we are only an hour apart. Additionally, I was in an accident! Roles reversed I'd be there in a heartbeat. Additionally we both work full time jobs and I have gone out before to visit for only one night despite working all day.

Am I overreacting? He doesnt even know I'm upset, but I'm just trying to evaluate my feelings...

There’s nothing wrong with wanting love and attention after going through a scary experience, whether you are fine physically or not, you still need comfort from the person you are with or else we wouldnt be human!

Surely he can take time away for you just like you did for him?

How would he react if you told him you were upset about it?

I do think it does show how he feels for you, yes. Bad times normally do show people's true feelings.

Most boyfriends or husbands would be there with their partner asap and would be very worried. Your boyfriend seems so-so. It would make anyone feel less loved.

I do think it does show how he feels for you, yes. Bad times normally do show people's true feelings.

 

Most boyfriends or husbands would be there with their partner asap and would be very worried. Your boyfriend seems so-so. It would make anyone feel less loved.

I agree! You aren't demanding something unreasonable and loving partners will be w/their partners in a time of need. He doesn't sound super interested or committed. Being a loving partner is making sacrifices when needed and he isn't making that sacrifice. Sounds like a one sided relationship and I would watch out , if you feel this way, its time to move on.

I would be really upset! I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do!

Those that love us should be there for us in times of serious events. You getting into a motorcycle and thank god you are alive btw, should be one of those events!

If he is acting laid back about it then it shows he’s not concerned or doesn’t think your worth the effort! I’m sorry OP!

At least you know he won’t be there for you in times of trouble and that’s better to find out now!

On one side, I agree that he should be there to look after you and see how you're doing. Partners are supposed to be there for their loved one, after all.

That said, on the other side, I have to wonder how busy he is with work that may warrant not choosing to visit. He says he may be tired, and in that case you'd have to consider his own healthy and safety if he's driving to see you. I'm not sure on this work load, but it's the military so I'm assuming it could be quite strenuous.

How long have you been dating?

Yeah he should be checking up on you. An hour is nothing. Actions speak louder than words always. :/ I'd be reconsidering my relationship with him.

I don't know how long you guys have been dating but it sounds like he doesn't seem like he cares enough to check in on you in person.

Doesn't sound like a keeper.

I would not like this at all. I’m really sorry you were in an accident and he should be there with you and for you. Even if it’s jist a short visit. I’ve done that for good friends and even not as good friends if I possibly could. No brainer. You’re not asking him to take time off from work and you’re not contagious. I’d seriously consider being done.

I have no right to judge him. I am not familiar with the military lifestyle and who knows what he is going through. Plus, you know him better than we do.

My two cents:

Generally you tend to move mountains to be with someone, you deeply care about and who has been in an accident, asap. If that realistically isn't feasible, then you at least give him/her a call and find out if he/she needs anything.

Some buy you flowers or a get well teddy, others run errands for you, some bring you a nice meal, others order you Chinese food and some keep you company. Everyone has a different way of being there for you. It's their personal way of saying: I care about you. You are important to me.

Priorities.

(I am glad to read that you are recovering!)

I would not take this as a good sign, OP.

I'm sorry you're in this position.

Well, what does this military trip entail? How much free time does he have? It'll be at least a two-hour round trip. Plus an hour or two with you.

How badly are you injured?

Given it seems he's currently on expedition or in the field and couldn't respond by being there even if he wanted to, it's relatively arbitrary for him to rush out after work a week after the fact to kinda "make up" for the bedside manner that would have been appropriate more immediately after the accident.

In other words, it's simply not the same thing. I'd certainly hope that, after a week, the shock of the accident will have by and large dissipated. And, unless you're temporarily crippled, it would seem the physical necessity isn't terribly prevalent. That's not saying I would think it's cool if he blew you off the whole week, but if he's going to be just coming back from something like annual training (sounding like he's a reservist or guardsman or your country's equivalent), immediately going to his full time job, and wants to catch up on his rest that evening, I actually don't think it's incredibly unfair nor heartless.

Again, had he been in town during the accident or the days immediately following, I'd have a different opinion.