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Thread: Dog Owner Issue

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    That's along the lines of what I was thinking. Why argue? It just makes an already unpleasant situation worse. You can't control what other people think of you. Strangers, neighbors, friends, enemies, no one. All you'll succeed in doing is discouraging people from sharing their opinions or feelings from you. If that's what you want, then good. But it's not the same as making them have a certain impression or opinion about you. They will just keep their original impression and not tell you about it.
    I didn't care about her opinion. I wanted to clarify so that the friendly dog owner would understand that what she was saying about me was not true. The dog owner said nothing to me -he was focused on keeping his dog close to him. And I was standing quietly apart from him and the dog. She then opened her mouth and started saying that I was afraid of all dogs. I wanted to make sure he knew what she was saying wasn't right. I am sorry if I wasn't clear. As for me I am flexible and I have changed my original impressions of people many times and part of that can be because the person explains more about themselves. But in this case I don't care what she thinks. She wasn't sharing her opinion or feelings -she shared an untrue fact about me to the dog owner. I do want to discourage her from sharing that kind of untrue information about me -now she knows it is not true. I made that clear to her. I'm not going to let someone do that to me in that situation. If she wanted to share her opinion of me to me that would be fine. She said it to the dog owner in front of me as if I had told her I was afraid of all dogs and somehow I needed her to be my spokesperson.

    Had they been strangers I would have let it go.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I didn't care about her opinion. I wanted to clarify so that the friendly dog owner would understand that what she was saying about me was not true. The dog owner said nothing to me -he was focused on keeping his dog close to him. And I was standing quietly apart from him and the dog. She then opened her mouth and started saying that I was afraid of all dogs. I wanted to make sure he knew what she was saying wasn't right. I am sorry if I wasn't clear. As for me I am flexible and I have changed my original impressions of people many times and part of that can be because the person explains more about themselves. But in this case I don't care what she thinks.
    I understood that. I'm just saying that he is going to come to his own conclusions. He probably isn't relying on her or you to tell him what to think. It's a lot of anxiety over an endeavor that is ultimately futile (opinion control).

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I understood that. I'm just saying that he is going to come to his own conclusions. He probably isn't relying on her or you to tell him what to think. It's a lot of anxiety over something that is ultimately futile.
    Before she opened her mouth I'm not sure what his conclusions were nor did I care. I knew my actions were appropriate - I kept my polite distance, kept quiet and calm and thanked him for telling me that his dog is friendly while the dog was still trying to get to me in the elevator. If he came to the conclusion on his own that I must be afraid of all dogs that's fine. No issue with him or his (silent) opinions.

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    I may have an unpopular opinion, but I do not think dogs belong in public places like shopping malls, airports, restaurants, etc. Just today, I had to step over a dog in a nice restaurant, inside.

    I am not talking about verified, properly marked seeing eye dogs. For true medical purposes. But just because someone can't/won't be without their furry friend is not ok.

    This has nothing to do with biting or fear, I just think it's unsanitary. I don't want dog hair/dog smell around me. I actually like dogs. I'm so highly allergic to cats that I literally have to leave the room. I think the place for animals is in their homes, in their yards, and in proper carrying devices/on leashes when the need arises to take them out in public (walking, get them to the groomer, etc.).

    So I'd have real disdain for your neighbor. Enjoy your dog, but keep it on a close leash. Period.

    My sister's german shepherd lunged at a little girl in a stroller and the police took the dog away. They did get the dog back, but not after a fine and a warning. I felt the same way about my sister's dog that I feel about others: my sister should have kept her dog on a tight leash.
    Wow -I am glad the girl was ok and where I live I doubt there would be repercussions unless there was an actual dog bite. I live in a dog friendly building and down the block from a dog friendly park (leash laws in the park, dog runs available). I like that my son is exposed to dogs and dog owners for a variety of reasons and there are definite downsides as you described. I had a friend for awhile who had an adorable poodle to whom she was really attached. We would meet for coffee and she would insist on bringing her dog. Which meant that we always had to sit outside (understandably, she feared the dog being taken if we stayed inside). She seemed slightly put off when I wasn't really into the dog jumping up onto me (worried about my clothes getting dirty/tearing). I tried to feign interest in her dog but I wish she'd left the dog home for our one hour coffee. I always met her without my child since she didn't have children and I wanted to have adult time/conversation.

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  6. #35
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    So in thinking more about it I realized my mistake -impatience. I was spent/dehydrated from working out and for those of you over 50 like me I just got vaccinated for shingles and -ouch -and also some side effects. I should have judged the room in the elevator and realized I'd have to stand awkwardly right in front. Next time I will wait for the next elevator which I have done in the past. And of course I didn't have the more typical restraint not to respond more than perfunctorily to Ms. Busybody/Fake News as Journeynow suggested I should have.

  7. #36
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    Well unlike most here I can totally understand your frustration. This woman is rude and doesn’t control her dog in a responsible manner. Then to top it she sticks her beak in, when you are alarmed by another dog that is not being properly controlled, saying you are afraid of all dogs. This would really wind me up too.

    Unfortunately, just like child parents some dog parents think the sun shines out of their little darlings butt and let them run riot with no consideration for others.

    I think the best thing to do is accept that your neighbour is a big A hole and have a chuckle that your neighbour who had the manners to restrain his dog probably gets annoyed when her dog gets in his way too!

    If she repeats this behaviour you can simply emphasise that you really appreciate when dog owners display good manners, then give her a “dog look” haha
    Last edited by thornz; 07-23-2018 at 06:21 PM. Reason: More

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    Well unlike most here I can totally understand your frustration. This woman is rude and doesn’t control her dog in a responsible manner. Then to top it she sticks her beak in, when you are alarmed by another dog that is not being properly controlled, saying you are afraid of all dogs. This would really wind me up too.

    Unfortunately, just like child parents some dog parents think the sun shines out of their little darlings butt and let them run riot with no consideration for others.

    I think the best thing to do is accept that your neighbour is a big A hole and have a chuckle that your neighbour who had the manners to restrain his dog probably gets annoyed when her dog gets in his way too!

    If she repeats this behaviour you can simply emphasise that you really appreciate when dog owners display good manners, then give her a “dog look” haha
    LOL on the "dog look!" I actually did feel supported and encouraged by many of the responses here and appreciated the perspective of "choose your battles". It's interesting as to the perspective of whether neighbors are basically strangers -it's so individual as far as the choice to become acquainted or even friendly with neighbors. -I've had both experiences and, along the way, some neighbors who were most decidedly not friendly!

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