I am broken...

Hey.

I have been in relationship since last 3 years...and i am really in love with him

He has given me every damn reason to move on ....At first year it was like a fairy tale but after some time whenever he went on trips with his friends he rarely pick my call i felt like an option for him till the date and on the other days he keep on crying river for me he has even got a tattoo on his hand of my name and he never backstep to accept me from his family he cared for me like hell i cant even express how lucky i used to feel but since a year or so i have devastated he verbally abused me even without knowing anything and he lowered my self esteem and respect i feel so broken he lied to me several times by now and i went no contact for 2-3 months in april 2018 itself he went so mad he chased me like hell and when i started talking to him again he then again become the same ...when i dont talk to him he keeps on chasing me and saying sorry and when i value him he again rule over me nd moreover the thing which angers me the most is that he never sincerely apologies like he does but when i start talking to him again he then started saying i am not wrong its you who is wrong like he never mean his SORRY.

I am so stuck i cry daily he thinks so wrong abt me always it sucks me...please tell me how to stop explaining myself to him million times

Well, what you do is leave him and move. The guy is emotionally abusing you, as you yourself realized. You're not in love with him. How could you love someone who abuses you? You're emotionally dependent on him. You probably think you will never meet another guy, but you will.

By the way, is this a real-life relationship? Does he ever take you out on dates? Does he buy you gifts? How much time does he spend with you a week? Do you still live with your parents? How old are both of you? This information helps give you better advice.

Is this an arranged/forced situation where your families decide that you have to be with him? Will you face repercussions if you leave and go back to your family?

he never backstep to accept me from his family. I am so stuck i cry daily he thinks so wrong abt me always it sucks me.

Go no contact immediately, and stop letting him in. Sorry but a man who doesn't pursue you or treat you well until you leave him is not a man you want to be with. And as soon as you let him back in, he goes right back to abusing you. Why would you bother? You know exactly what is going to happen every time you let him in again: he is going to abuse you. You have to stop letting him do it.

This is how most abusive relationships begin: the first 6 months to a year feel fantastic. That's how they hook you. They make you believe they are wonderful people, get you to commit, possibly even get you to move in with them or in some other way become dependent, and as soon as you become committed and/or dependent, it's safe for them to let their true colors show and begin abusing... because at that point it's hard for you to leave (you're so in love, he was so wonderful before maybe he can be that way again, you live with him now and have no place to go). It's a cycle and it's a trap.

Stop talking to him. Block him from all contact outlets. If he still pursues you, you should get a restraining order.

Go no contact immediately, and stop letting him in. Sorry but a man who doesn't pursue you or treat you well until you leave him is not a man you want to be with. And as soon as you let him back in, he goes right back to abusing you. Why would you bother? You know exactly what is going to happen every time you let him in again: he is going to abuse you. You have to stop letting him do it.

 

This is how most abusive relationships begin: the first 6 months to a year feel fantastic. That's how they hook you. They make you believe they are wonderful people, get you to commit, possibly even get you to move in with them or in some other way become dependent, and as soon as you become committed and/or dependent, it's safe for them to let their true colors show and begin abusing... because at that point it's hard for you to leave (you're so in love, he was so wonderful before maybe he can be that way again, you live with him now and have no place to go). It's a cycle and it's a trap.

 

Stop talking to him. Block him from all contact outlets. If he still pursues you, you should get a restraining order.

I try to go no contact but i am so addicted to him idk wat to do it sucks to see he is not interested in me but still cant let me fully go he always blames on me for everything and it sucks to see that he used to care but not anymore he literally pampered me alot😢

Are you being forced to stay with him? For example your family won't take you back or they'll lose their dowry or you are destitute? Unless you are being held against your will, it's not that "he can't let you go", it's that you are unable or unwilling to leave.

he is not interested in me but still cant let me fully go

You say "it sucks to see that he used to care but not anymore"

What about you? Did you used to care about you? Prove to yourself that you still care about yourself. You need yourself right now. Go NC by locking up your phone. And go get a new phone as a back up, and have it be phone only, no data. Follow the 10 steps like Alcoholics Anonymous: invoke the help and guidance of a higher power; go cold turkey and full stop; use a community of recovering addicts to help you.