Ex wants to meet me after one and a half years apart

We had been together for 4 years, but he dumped me because he moved to another country which is far away from my country and couldn’t take a long distance relationship. He broke up with me only by sending message on SNS and sending a letter.

I didn’t like his selfish and immature way of breakup and it broke my heart badly. He really wanted to become my friend soon after breakup and kept texting me for 6 months, but I couldn't. I was so annoyed at the time and finally blocked him on all SNS. Then I felt much better, moved on and have a good life now. My career is good and I have good friends.

I got his letter last month after one and a half years apart.

It is like this;

#He will come to my country for holiday next month.

#He wants to meet me face to face and apologize to me for the way he broke up with me.

#He has been suffering from an anxiety disorder since breakup.

#He wishes I am feeling better and my life has moved on to a positive direction now.

Is it OK to meet him now? I haven't yet responded.

I think I am not able to build a friendship with him but I could meet him because there is not so much chance to meet because we’re living far away. If this meeting would be a proper closure for me, it seems good for my future. To be honest, I think about him sometimes and might still have a feeling for him. But I have no idea how I would feel when I meet him.

On his part, this is likely all about trying to make himself feel better. Trying to assuage his guilt. People who pull the the kind of sh!$ he did are selfish and only care for THEIR feelings regardless of the collateral damage caused by their cowardice. Selfish cowards cannot be trusted. If you still have feelings for him, you risk being taken for a nasty ride. In reality, closure comes from within. The damage he did cannot be undone, only healed from within. It is very unlikely that he will tell you anything helpful. Plus, he will be leaving again. If you choose to meet him, you risk reopening the wound with zero benefit. He is unhappy with himself and is trying to make himself feel better. Most likely, he will try to extract forgiveness so that he can tell himself that what he did was not that bad. And then he will go his merry way, or worse, try to keep you around as a sympathetic ear until he finds a more convenient replacement.

I think it's a booty call. He wants a farewell fling. You never get closure out of these kinds of meetings. People just make up a bunch of excuses. And what happens is you just open old wounds. All the healing you've done over the last one and a half years can be undone.

Tell him have a nice life but you don't want to see him.

You've already achieved your proper closure, by blocking him, moving on and finding a good life for yourself without him.

As DanZee says, meeting up with him will do nothing other than open old wounds - it won't help you with your future. He's unlikely to have anything to say to you which will really help, and in a sense the way he broke up with you tells you everything you need to know about this guy. Actions speak louder than words. He's also being manipulative and trying to play on your sympathy by telling you that he's been suffering from an anxiety disorder.

It's nice that he hopes you're feeling better and that your life is moving in a positive direction, and you owe it to yourself to keep it that way.

Don't even respond to the letter.

I went through a similar situation - though I didn't heal as well as you did. I was contacted via letter within a box of my things he sent to me four years after he vanished (ghosted me). He took me for a short ride again and I literally had to grieve all over again. BUT - this time - I was finally able to put it to rest after four years of hurt that was always sitting there in the background.

Fast forward - months later he reached out again. This time he wanted "advice" on his career and knew I could help. It was laughable. So laughable, that a funny thing happened. I forgave him. I didn't care anymore. I wasn't angry anymore. I just saw him for who he was. A person who didn't have a lot of depth of character, and would never have been a good match for me because of that. And of course - it was at that moment that he realized he'd truly lost me and wanted me back. He tried off and on for several years after that to at least see me. I never allowed it. Now - from time to time - he reaches out via text to say something about what a great person I am and how he thinks of me often yada yada. And I say thank you and wish him well and tell him to hug his mother for me. It is over. But I have also healed. So - Do what will bring YOU the most peace. You don't owe him anything.

He wants a vacation hookup or just got dumped. You did the right thing when you blocked him. This is for his benefit, not yours. Don't let curiosity and bs sob stories about "anxiety" fool you into thinking he's changed.

#He will come to my country for holiday next month.

#He wants to meet me face to face and apologize to me for the way he broke up with me.

#He has been suffering from an anxiety disorder since breakup.

#He wishes I am feeling better and my life has moved on to a positive direction now.

Thanks for comments. It was really helpful.

He sent me email again and it was like this.

"I really need to meet you face to face to explain more about my condition and the reasons behind my irrational behaviour towards you. I won’t forgive myself otherwise."

he said he won't forgive himself? So like Crio said, do you think he wants to meet me for making himself feel better and assuage his guilt?

Translation: "I want to hookup when I'm in town":

"I really need to meet you face to face to explain more about my condition and the reasons behind my irrational behaviour towards you. I won’t forgive myself otherwise."