What should I do?

So I've been in a relationship with a guy who was an addict. I didn't know that in the beginning since he was pretty good in hidding it. His drug of choice was oxycontin.

He was the nicest person in the beginning of the relationship but then he became the devil, he lied to me about everything, he manipulated me, he compared me to other women he would make me feel worthless.

He broke up with me 3 times already and I wanted to stay no contact. I accepted him back because I believed he was evil because of his drug addiction. Now he is clean for a year and we are broken up still but he contacted me months ago and we would stay in touch. When I ask something about how he is doing he completely ignores me.

I started getting nervous and I texted him several times (this was bad) saying "I need to cut ties because I still feel so worried about many things in your life. I care about you and Im not mad but we can't stay in touch". He ignored my messages and I feel mad because he knows I feel concerned and he doesn't even bother replying.

I want to make him pay, I want revenge :( What can I do?

The best revenge is to never contact him again and do things in your life that will make you happy.

If he doesn't have feelings for you, you can't hurt him.

Plus, hurting him wouldn't make you feel better anyway.

How about, instead of obsessing over him, you simply move forward with your life?

I want to make him pay, I want revenge :( What can I do?

You can forget that idea.

When someone doesn't care about you, you can't really exact revenge. He doesn't care enough to be hurt by you. It's also immature and does more harm than good to you.

Stop contacting this guy and seek out healthier dating options in the future. Don't willingly overlook the red flags, whatever the cause of them might be. You deserve a lot more than that.

I understand why you're angry. You feel used and pushed aside. The first step to alleviating the negative feelings, though, is not to get revenge. Instead, work on accepting responsibility for staying in a relationship and chasing after a man that were obviously not good for you. We teach people how to treat us. He showed you he was a person who didn't care enough, and you chose to continually engage.

Please seek professional help. A therapist may be helpful in guiding you towards understanding your self-destructive behavior, as well as why you would be drawn to a man like this in the first place.

I don't see any justification for her anger and I read it twice.

Dude was an addict.

Instead of running for the hills she decided to hitch her trailer to the train wreck. Ain't no codependence like relationship with a drug addict codependence.

He got clean attempts to be cordial but probably wants nothing to do with her, she keeps texting him.

She's angry but the anger is misplaced.

OPer your self esteem is in the gutter and I suspect it was long before this guy came along. Looks like you thought drug addict, low hanging fruit! Be single. Work on you.

The best thing you can do is grow up. Revenge is a juvenile notion. An addict makes the absolute worst partner. As you discovered, they use people, they lie, they manipulate, they hurt. Their addiction makes them this way. Forget this guy and move on. Block and delete him from ever contacting you again.

I don't see any justification for her anger and I read it twice.

 

Dude was an addict.

 

Instead of running for the hills she decided to hitch her trailer to the train wreck. Ain't no codependence like relationship with a drug addict codependence.

 

He got clean attempts to be cordial but probably wants nothing to do with her, she keeps texting him.

 

She's angry but the anger is misplaced.

 

OPer your self esteem is in the gutter and I suspect it was long before this guy came along. Looks like you thought drug addict, low hanging fruit! Be single. Work on you.

I just don't understand why did he contact me, we were no contact for 2 months and he was the one who contacted me talking about a band we both liked. And said he would love to see me, and missed me and etc.

I am mad because he communicates with me, whenever he wants and says stuff to make me concerned like "my life is a mess" and then I ask what's going on and he doesn't reply. So, I sent several texts because I was mad and he just ignored me.

Delete and block. He can only contact you if you allow it .

Haven't you wasted enough energy on this!

Block and delete, once and for all. I would also address your part in continuing to return to this loser.

I just don't understand why did he contact me, we were no contact for 2 months and he was the one who contacted me talking about a band we both liked. And said he would love to see me, and missed me and etc.

I am mad because he communicates with me, whenever he wants and says stuff to make me concerned like "my life is a mess" and then I ask what's going on and he doesn't reply. So, I sent several texts because I was mad and he just ignored me.

You are not helpless. There was no reason to respond. You should have blocked him, long ago.

Of course, I am also responsible for this because I stayed when I should've left before. But the fact that he doesn't even bother replying to my last texts is pissing me off beyond words.

Of course, I am also responsible for this because I stayed when I should've left before. But the fact that he doesn't even bother replying to my last texts is pissing me off beyond words.

I don't understand why you care, or are bothering with him.

Block him.

Of course, I am also responsible for this because I stayed when I should've left before. But the fact that he doesn't even bother replying to my last texts is pissing me off beyond words.

You are looking for logical behaviour from a drug addict, OP.

Heck, he might have been high as a kite when he got back in touch. The point is, you know better. You know you cannot rely on him to be caring or sensitive to your needs.

It's time you accept that it's totally over and block him for good.

He's gone No Contact, you go No Contact. Block him so you can't see if he tries to contact you in the future. This is why we advise people to go No Contact after a break up. Any contact only brings back bad feelings.

I understand why you're angry. You feel used and pushed aside. The first step to alleviating the negative feelings, though, is not to get revenge. Instead, work on accepting responsibility for staying in a relationship and chasing after a man that were obviously not good for you. We teach people how to treat us. He showed you he was a person who didn't care enough, and you chose to continually engage.

 

Please seek professional help. A therapist may be helpful in guiding you towards understanding your self-destructive behavior, as well as why you would be drawn to a man like this in the first place.

Thank you.

He's gone No Contact, you go No Contact. Block him so you can't see if he tries to contact you in the future. This is why we advise people to go No Contact after a break up. Any contact only brings back bad feelings.

yes, I went No Contact but he tried to communicate after 2 months. I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk to him but yeah he was nice in the beginning and then decided to ignore me whenever he felt like doing it.

You have the power to solve this - block, delete and it's done! This is easy to resolve you just have to make up your mind to do it.

Addicts make lousy friends and lousier partners. You need to move on.

I just don't understand why did he contact me, we were no contact for 2 months and he was the one who contacted me talking about a band we both liked. And said he would love to see me, and missed me and etc.

I am mad because he communicates with me, whenever he wants and says stuff to make me concerned like "my life is a mess" and then I ask what's going on and he doesn't reply. So, I sent several texts because I was mad and he just ignored me.

I apologize sad, I read your post referencing his contacting you. It was a d*ck move, he probably wanted an ego boost. Unfortunately just because someone gets clean doesn't mean they suddenly become mature adults.

Block him. And start to work on you. You can do it! One day at a time.

yes, I went No Contact but he tried to communicate after 2 months. I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk to him but yeah he was nice in the beginning and then decided to ignore me whenever he felt like doing it.

Now you know the sucky reality. It does hurt, a lot. It's like the rejection of a breakup all over again.

Don't worry you aren't the only person irritated when someone doesn't respond to us. They have hundreds of memes about it, haha. It is rude, but again, this guy has shown you who he is many times over, don't keep letting him do that to you, you deserve better.

I apologize sad, I read your post referencing his contacting you. It was a d*ck move, he probably wanted an ego boost. Unfortunately just because someone gets clean doesn't mean they suddenly become mature adults.

 

Block him. And start to work on you. You can do it! One day at a time.

Yeah I thought since he was clean, he would be a normal human being with emotions like others but he is just heartless.

I will give you that one, but in that same line of thinking, a 'normal' human being wouldnt have given him a chance to come back again.

Humans don't always act normally.

You have to be responsible for your well being. You responded because you wanted to reconcile. You have to let that go, healing will be a lot smoother once you do that.

I will give you that one, but in that same line of thinking, a 'normal' human being wouldnt have given him a chance to come back again.

 

Humans don't always act normally.

 

You have to be responsible for your well being. You responded because you wanted to reconcile. You have to let that go, healing will be a lot smoother once you do that.

What I meant with normal was that normal people have feelings, he doesn't have feelings nor emotions. Even his mom told me he has no feelings. Good or bad I have emotions.

I understand that you are hurting but not sure why you want revenge. If you're hurt that he reached out while you were NC, only to turn around and ignore you, I get that. He was checking your temperature. In other words, checking to see if he still had a way in should he need you for something later on. You confirmed that he could, he was satisfied, and went back into no contact. I'm sure you may feel angry or even humiliated for breaking NC and letting him make you vulnerable again.

The fact that he's ignoring you confirms that he does not care about you. My ex is 60 years old and he ignored me too ---after asking for no contact then reaching out to me. It stings a little but that means that he can never reach out to me ever again. He faciliated the NC so hold him to it. You should feel the same way. You reached out, he ignored you, so hes back in NC. Block your toxic ex, heal and move forward with your life. Your life WILL improve, and the hurt will ease with time. My ex added no value to my life, he only hurt me and broke my spirit---and from what you say here, yours didnt either.

Stop trying to love people who don't give a damn about you. At least your ex didnt actually say that like mine did, but he is showing you. Consider yourself lucky that he removed himself from your life, and it's up to you to keep it that way. Good luck to you.

I understand that you are hurting but not sure why you want revenge. If you're hurt that he reached out while you were NC, only to turn around and ignore you, I get that. He was checking your temperature. In other words, checking to see if he still had a way in should he need you for something later on. You confirmed that he could, he was satisfied, and went back into no contact. I'm sure you may feel angry or even humiliated for breaking NC and letting him make you vulnerable again.

 

The fact that he's ignoring you confirms that he does not care about you. My ex is 60 years old and he ignored me too ---after asking for no contact then reaching out to me. It stings a little but that means that he can never reach out to me ever again. He faciliated the NC so hold him to it. You should feel the same way. You reached out, he ignored you, so hes back in NC. Block your toxic ex, heal and move forward with your life. Your life WILL improve, and the hurt will ease with time. My ex added no value to my life, he only hurt me and broke my spirit---and from what you say here, yours didnt either.

 

Stop trying to love people who don't give a damn about you. At least your ex didnt actually say that like mine did, but he is showing you. Consider yourself lucky that he removed himself from your life, and it's up to you to keep it that way. Good luck to you.

Exactly! He broke my spirit as well, and destroyed my selfsteem which was probably already low. Many other things happened in my life and none of them helped my state of mind. I suffered from bad anxiety after he manipulated so much during the relationship. When something went wrong or I found out one of his lies he would scream and say he would kill himself. And then he would disappear, not even his family would know about him.

So yes, I will cut him off. I'm mad at him but also mad at myself.