What are the chances that there's more to it than depression and anxiety?

Gonna try and keep this short, so here goes.

Basically, I come from a family that never expressed affection to one another. Never communicated much, never hugged, never said "I love you"- though we knew the love was there, we just never showed it. Maybe that shaped me into the person I am today, idk.

So my entire youth and early adulthood was spent with crippling social anxiety and in and out of therapists offices, which never really helped with the depression anyway because I wasn't entirely truthful. I could never let my walls down even though I knew they were there to help. Ended up depressed and isolated for over 10 years but never got help for it, because I got hooked on liquor and didn't want to give it up in the event I had to be prescribed medication.

I'm mostly numb, like my capability to feel feelings has completely shut down. A therapist I spoke to wanted to get me evaluated for adult on-set autism, which is just worrying tbh. Do you think there might be a chance that it is?

Most autistics are very feeling people. It is a complete stereotype that they are considered not . That’s pretty much 1980s information .

Adult on set ? People are born autistic or not . Yes it can show up at different times but as an adult ? My son is autistic and was absolutely 100% noticeable in the first three years of his life . And he is very mild on the spectrum .

This is the diagnostic criteria for autism according to the DSM five :

Autism Spectrum Disorder 299.00 (F84.0)

Diagnostic Criteria

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expression uessions and nonverbal communication.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals who have marked deficits in social communication, but whose symptoms do not otherwise meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder, should be evaluated for social (pragmatic) communication disorder.

Specify if:

With or without accompanying intellectual impairment

With or without accompanying language impairment

Associated with a known medical or genetic condition or environmental factor

(Coding note: Use additional code to identify the associated medical or genetic condition.)

Associated with another neurodevelopmental, mental, or behavioral disorder

(Coding note: Use additional code to identify the associated neurodevelopmental, mental, or behavioral disorder.)

With catatonia (refer to the criteria for catatonia associated with another mental disorder, pp. 119-120, for definition) (Coding note: Use additional code 293.89 [F06.1] catatonia associated with autism spectrum disorder to indicate the presence of the comorbid catatonia.)

Table 2 Severity levels for autism spectrum disorder

Severity level

Social communication

Restricted, repetitive behaviors

Level 3

"Requiring very substantial support”

Severe deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills cause severe impairments in functioning, very limited initiation of social interactions, and minimal response to social overtures from others. For example, a person with few words of intelligible speech who rarely initiates interaction and, when he or she does, makes unusual approaches to meet needs only and responds to only very direct social approaches

Inflexibility of behavior, extreme difficulty coping with change, or other restricted/repetitive behaviors markedly interfere with functioning in all spheres. Great distress/difficulty changing focus or action.

Level 2

"Requiring substantial support”

Marked deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills; social impairments apparent even with supports in place; limited initiation of social interactions; and reduced or abnormal responses to social overtures from others. For example, a person who speaks simple sentences, whose interaction is limited to narrow special interests, and how has markedly odd nonverbal communication.

Inflexibility of behavior, difficulty coping with change, or other restricted/repetitive behaviors appear frequently enough to be obvious to the casual observer and interfere with functioning in a variety of contexts. Distress and/or difficulty changing focus or action.

Level 1

"Requiring support”

Without supports in place, deficits in social communication cause noticeable impairments. Difficulty initiating social interactions, and clear examples of atypical or unsuccessful response to social overtures of others. May appear to have decreased interest in social interactions. For example, a person who is able to speak in full sentences and engages in communication but whose to- and-fro conversation with others fails, and whose attempts to make friends are odd and typically unsuccessful.

Inflexibility of behavior causes significant interference with functioning in one or more contexts. Difficulty switching between activities. Problems of organization and planning hamper independence.

I think you're just depressed. You don't want to take medication for it, so the recommendation is to get out and not just sit in your apartment. You've got to exercise and get out into nature to take walks and hikes. Maybe start jogging or working out at a local gym. Get plenty of sun, particularly now during the summer. Vitamin D helps with depression. Get a dog. Girls love to pet dogs and you can ask them if they have any single friends. (If they're single, they might say, hey, I'm single.)

There are some herbs you can try like St. Johns wart, valerian, kava kava, etc. Try going out to events like concerts and movies. Sit outside at cafes and say hi to girls walking by. Join a church or a club. Do anything you can think of to meet people and make friends. Do anything you like to do to ease your depression.

These are just some suggestions, but I think if you meet someone some of your depression will ease up.

I had the same sort of upbringing as you, OP, and I went for an autism assessment. I was told that, although I have some autistic traits, it's actually Childhood Emotional Neglect that's made me the way I am, including the social difficulties. It is a thing - Google it and you might find you see yourself in the description. I am receiving CBT but it's not really helping. My therapist mentioned that I read up on schema therapy and I'm finding it very interesting as it goes into the beliefs you have and ways you cope with life, as a result of your childhood/adolescent experiences.

I had the same sort of upbringing as you, OP, and I went for an autism assessment. I was told that, although I have some autistic traits, it's actually Childhood Emotional Neglect that's made me the way I am, including the social difficulties. It is a thing - Google it and you might find you see yourself in the description. I am receiving CBT but it's not really helping. My therapist mentioned that I read up on schema therapy and I'm finding it very interesting as it goes into the beliefs you have and ways you cope with life, as a result of your childhood/adolescent experiences.

Yes, that is probably highly more likely. Because a fetus before birth is autistic or allistic you don’t just suddenly “ become “ autistic one day. You are or you are not from birth . Also autistic people feel A LOT. My son may look very stoic and like he is feeling nothing but inside he is a very passionate person who feels a full range of emotions.

I am sorry it is a very sad way to grow up in a very cold environment. :(

"...because I got hooked on liquor and didn't want to give it up in the event I had to be prescribed medication."

- Alcoholism.

Go to AA.

Alcohol is also a depressant of the central nervous system. It adds to anxiety and depression .

never really helped with the depression anyway because I wasn't entirely truthful.

Why not skip trying to self diagnose and just get honest with the people who are trained to help you. Instead of second guessing potential treatment, recognize that nobody will treat you without presenting options. If you want to nix an option, just tell them why and explore the alternatives.

The problem with isolation is living in your head. The bigger problem with that is, the conclusions you draw based on stuff you make up in your head are not usually accurate. So skip that--it hasn't worked for 10 years.

Learn what your options are based on honest assessments, and then you can make the best decisions for yourself based on REAL information.

Head high.

Why not skip trying to self diagnose and just get honest with the people who are trained to help you. Instead of second guessing potential treatment, recognize that nobody will treat you without presenting options. If you want to nix an option, just tell them why and explore the alternatives.

 

The problem with isolation is living in your head. The bigger problem with that is, the conclusions you draw based on stuff you make up in your head are not usually accurate. So skip that--it hasn't worked for 10 years.

 

Learn what your options are based on honest assessments, and then you can make the best decisions for yourself based on REAL information.

 

Head high.

I was diagnosed, just wasn't honest about the root cause of the problem at the time, so my therapist assumed it was situational. But you're right, I'll go and get assessed thoroughly and be honest this time.

I was diagnosed, just wasn't honest about the root cause of the problem at the time, so my therapist assumed it was situational. But you're right, I'll go and get assessed thoroughly and be honest this time.

Consider the worst that could happen if you tell your providers the truth as you see it in any given situation. They ask more questions? Answer those. Ask them questions back: "What are my options if I don't want drugs because I enjoy alcohol and don't want to give it up?"