My bf always makes comments about other girls’ appearance

When we hang out he always check out other girls. I told him multiple times I don’t like it but he says he is just being observant and observing all moving objects. He also constantly makes comments about other girls’ appearance or how other girls are checking him out. As if for him, when it comes to young girls, it’s always about their looks or their dressing styles. I told him I don’t like it because I feel like he is objectifying women and I don’t like how much focus he puts on other girls’ appearance but he says I am weird. Is this normal for guys? He is in his 30s and I’m in my 20s. I appreciate any advice.

It is not normal for decent guys but it is normal for immature jerks. Some people never grow up. Please, do yourself a favor and break up with him. He doesn't care about your feelings and he does not respect you nor women in general. Those are some serious deal breakers.

No, this is not normal.

He is rude and disrespectful. I would not tolerate that noise. Find someone more mature.

He's being rude. And he may be treating you like a child. The age difference might be too much. What else does he do?

It is not normal for decent guys but it is normal for immature jerks. Some people never grow up. Please, do yourself a favor and break up with him. He doesn't care about your feelings and he does not respect you nor women in general. Those are some serious deal breakers.

True dat. He must be immature in other ways, no? He needs to realize this isn't okay, but I can bet he will keep pulling the "it's you, not me" or "this is who I am" card before he comes to this conclusion.

I had an ex like this, who often rambled on like a horny teenage boy in his adult years. Ironically, despite him being 9 years older than me, I outgrew him. After too many of his antics, I finally had enough of feeling like I was dating a kid. It sounds like you're well on that way.

You bring up valid concerns and feelings and he throws them back at you and calls you weird. This is classic and will continue throughout your relationship.

You cannot change him, you cannot love this out of him, you cannot ignore it and hope it goes away. This is who he is and just the tip of the iceberg.

Cut your losses and cut him loose.

I am sorry, I know you want this to work but he is not a good man.

Lost

My exBF did this, and he's 60 years old. Yes, 60.

He remarked on every. single. female that he saw, whether on t.v., out in public, etc.

No matter how many times I asked him not to do this, for the same reasons you did, he just couldn't/wouldn't stop it.

Your boyfriend might even be doing this to subconsciously unnerve you. He may be just an immature jerk. In any case, you've asked him not to do it, and he continues, and he will continue. It's up to you to decide whether the good in the relationship outweighs this one issue.

He won't listen to you, that says he doesn't care...why are you with a man that doesn't care how this makes you feel? You need to to find a new BF.

How long have you been dating? In what settings does this happen? Clubs? Singles bars? He sounds both insecure and clueless in addition to being a rude oaf to you. Stop dating him.

He also constantly makes comments about other girls’ appearance or how other girls are checking him out. he says I am weird.

It is a control tactic. He comments on the other women to make you feel like you need to try harder to gather his attention. He adds the part about them checking him out to make you feel like you need to compete for him. Basically making himself appear as a greater prize. Now he feels good and in control and (the plan) is for you to feel like you would do anything to keep his attention. See?

If he likes observing moving objects, tell him to observe you leaving his a$$. You don't need this.

What a jerk. He sounds really disrespectful. He is also trying to wear down your self esteem.

Get rid of this creep!!!

So funny, so true.

If he likes observing moving objects, tell him to observe you leaving his a$$.

I had to laugh at the "observing moving objects" defense of your boyfriend. It's so immature you have to laugh.

Yeah, he's Copernicus understanding of the motion of heavenly bodies.

My ex bf was like that too. And as much as I told him, he wouldnt change it. He would put it back on me that I was just insecure. And it was much worse because he would comment on women and compare them to me, then say he was "kidding."

I believe you need to leave him. He never makes a change or listens to your feelings. You are headed for a one sided relationshiop. Theres plenty of guys who wouldnt do this . I believe all men notice beautiful women. But most men know the boundary line. He is disrespecting you.

When we hang out he always check out other girls. I told him multiple times I don’t like it but he says he is just being observant and observing all moving objects. He also constantly makes comments about other girls’ appearance or how other girls are checking him out. As if for him, when it comes to young girls, it’s always about their looks or their dressing styles. I told him I don’t like it because I feel like he is objectifying women and I don’t like how much focus he puts on other girls’ appearance but he says I am weird. Is this normal for guys? He is in his 30s and I’m in my 20s. I appreciate any advice.

If he is so observant, I am guessing he makes comment on every man and child who walks by, right? If not, you're just dating an immature jerk. I bet this isn't the only thing that he does that ticks you off?

He’s immature, self absorbed, manipulative, and disrespectful towards you. He’s disregarding your feelings which are completely legit to make you feel like you’re being unreasonable. I’d let this guy go and whatever you do, don’t take him back. I predict that this is a guy you will look back on and wonder why you didn’t dump him sooner. It may be difficult to see now, but once you’re rid of him, you’ll question why you were with him in the first place. Let him go and find someone who values you and your concerns.

I’ve never rolled my eyes more than after reading his defence regarding observing moving objects. Is this guy for real? Saying he’s full of it would be an understatement.

That is extremely annoying and no not all guys do that. My ex used to do that kind of thing. One time he kept going on and on about how hot this girl was in high school. When I got upset, he told me I'm not the only pretty girl out there. I know that obviously, but that kind of thing is disrespectful to talk about. If he doesn't consider your feelings, he never will. Find someone who does respect you.

Honestly, he's being a turd. I spent 8 months of my life with an who did this just to push my buttons. Be with someone who worships you, not some immature swine. If you're mature enough to diplomatically voice what makes you uncomfortable and he still chooses to ignore it like a child, the problem is him- not you.

Thank you all for the advices. I truly feel better after reading all these. My rational thinking's been telling me that this is the not guy I can spend the rest of my life with despite how much I like him and want this relationship to work out. This is definitely not the only thing he does that hurts. He says hurtful words sometimes just to hurt or depreciate me. He would say things like how he really liked his ex's body shape or breast just to hurt me, or how he is liked by everyone and how nobody likes me (which is not true), and then says he was just joking or whatever. He knows I like him a lot and he will say things like I will never be able to leave him so might as well just save it and stop trying to break up. I've made up my mind to leave this person no matter how hard it is going to be. I will find a new place to move in and hopefully start a new life relatively soon. Thank you all.

Wow what a jerk. He's abusive. Excellent you've resolved to leave. Enlist the help of you family and friends and don't even argue with him, listen to him or inform him of anything. Just talk nonsense and answers like "whatever". Get everything lined up and organized with your people and move out.

He knows I like him a lot and he will say things like I will never be able to leave him so might as well just save it and stop trying to break up. I've made up my mind to leave this person no matter how hard it is going to be. I will find a new place to move in and hopefully start a new life relatively soon. Thank you all.