He said he don't want me anymore - He kept "haunting" me on Insta Story

Im sorry if i write it to details. just pretend you are reading my diary.

My relationship with him is quite complicated. Let say, we have an invisible relationship, no one supposed to know (but rumors has spread anyway). Its been more than a year we have an intense and romantic connection. We're both dominant and demanding each other. Always spent time together, and have the obligation to update one another about everything. We often have fight, on-off, being separated (a month is the longest). And became lover again. Lately, the fight is getting worse, but the romance is still in the air because we are so in love to each other. As a woman, i think it is normal if you want to know the "next plan", specially after I, literally, left all i have just to be with him, while he still in doubt to move forward. I, several times, ask him hysterically to leave me, and he always refused. But one day, he accepted.

Shocked, being dumped, i refused to end. But he insisted. He said he want to be free. He said i change him to be a different person, he don't have social life etc etc. I'm surprised, i'm the one who supposed to said that. So we broke up. My friends keeps telling me we'll back together again. But this time, he act so different. We did NC (he started actually, by ignoring my text and i follow after 2 days). But only for a week, he contacted me again, asking how's my sex life. Then the conversation start to back normal (not as intense as before) We had sex after that and BAM! I realized something. That he's just a different person and keep doing and said things that hurt me in purposed, by text, even when we're making love. And i stop contact him. Its been two weeks.

So sad, depressed, pain in the chest until now. I broke the NC by texting him. my mind is a mess and i know i have to make him know my feeling. Just explain why i stopped contact him suddenly, its because i realized he didn't want me anymore, didn'st love me, and want to get rid of me. He stay quiet. just read the messages but not response. I said on my text, please do not response if you don't have any feelings anymore for me. and he is doing it. Its hurt so much.

While we were together, he create an instragram account to follow me (he has his personal account with 0 following and no post, this one is a new fake account, but he told me he made it for me, so i know). Only me and for me. And now, after we separated for almost a month, he always checking my instastories. He's not a social media person, he has several socmed account but passive. And this fake account, keep stalking and haunting me, every time and everyday. While me, never see him on any platform and not try too.

in my head:

1. What is happen with him? Please any man who have did this, explain me something. my head is so heavy now.

2. Is it true that love can disappear just like that? I know he love me so much. But why he's acting like a jerk and make me feel so unloved?

3. What is his purpose by checking me and know that i will see him through insta story.

4. Deep down my heart, the separation is the best for me. But i love him so much, till it hurt physically. I just dont know what to do. What should I do to get him back? I want him back.

5. Did he missed me?

Please someone, help me.

Thank you.

A healthy and genuine relationship should never be hidden.

Is he married?

we are. from co-worker and everything change.

You may think this is too simple, but someone who truly loves you would not ask to keep you hidden. I'm thinking he enjoys the sex and excitement, but that's where it ends. He's keeping himself visible and engaging you in sexual talk to keep you as a side option in case he may want to get off.

Don't trick yourself into thinking this is about love. Just block him.

i know, that why sometimes I know this is not right, and i ask him to leave me. But he refused. We are both married, i'm on process for divorce for unhealthy marriage and he's with his wife get married because of the wife was pregnant and people know their marriage is on paper only. He's married but always acting as single guy, until he met me.

We talked about getting married next year etc etc. and suddenly he leave. Without explanation, just want to be free.

You are both married to other people? Steamy affairs at work often end up in disasters. Don't become Fatal Attraction case.

we are. from co-worker and everything change.

I know, right. Im a independent and dominant type of person. I never as weak as this. I can leave a man just like that, but i got hooked now. He's a very possessive man.

I'm trying hard to ignore him and not to think about the good times, but i just can't. He is the one that helped me out of broken places. For more than one year, from i woke up till I sleep, will always be with him, mostly by texting.

Im a super messed right now.

evertyhing start after i move to other company. I know that. We just hang out and have fun and we didnt realized it changed to something serious.

Neither of you has any business being in a relationship right now. How do you plan to get married next year when you're both married to other people? He acted like a single guy until he met you? Girl, come on. He isn't a single guy and he sure isn't acting committed with you.

If you are so strong and independent and can leave a man whenever you want, why are you still with your husband when you clearly don't want to be there? How far along in the divorce process are you? The image you have of yourself in your head is not reality; an independent woman would never allow a married guy to play her for a fool.

This is absurd, OP.

Do you still work together? How is your marriage? What do you mean "broken places"?

Unfortunately because you choose to be:

Im a super messed right now.

Does your husband still want you?

How are you "always" with your affair guy? Doesn't your husband wonder where you are?

I really hope you don't have children.

Thats why i said its complicated. We are just having fun. Thats it. We dont expect will be fallen to deep. Acting like single means he’s never has love affair. No string attached.

I live alone now, and divorce process in my country took a long period until its final. Its been 6 months since the papers submitted. We talked about getting merried since jan this year.

Well not everyone will understand. I just want to share this coz i feel so heavy inside.

The relationship started after i moved to another workplace. Im on divorce process and live alone.

Broken places, well, my husband is a stay home husband. Im the one who’s work for the living. Something like that. You will be bored to hear it.

My husband still want me to comeback but with the same situation. He knows where i lived.

I spent time with my bf after office. Almost everyday. And on weekend too.

Back to the question: if he doesnt want to continue this, and i want to move forward too, why is he still haunting me like everytime. Its make me crazy and hard to move on.

It seems there is a language barrier in your post. So you are actually divorced/separated and you divorced him because your husband is a deadbeat, unemployed and won't work. Is your lover divorced?

Im on divorce process and live alone. my husband is a stay home husband. Im the one who’s work for the living.

Yes i am separated. Yes the reason is my husband wont work.

But my bf is still with his wife. He said he will process after my divorce get final.

Well. Let say i want to end this. Why is he still haunting me. I dont want to remove him, show him i can enjoy life without him. But deep down, when i saw his name appears, i feel he still love me somehow.

Silly me.

It sounds like he is staying with his wife and broke up with you.

my bf is still with his wife. He said he will process after my divorce get final.

Why were you a secret? Why did you allow this?

The 'relationship' sounds terrible. He does not love or respect you. As he told you. The Instagram means nothing.

You need to block this loser, as he has nothing to offer you. Find a guy who values you. Thus is a waste of your life!

Oh great! You're both married. He wants to be with his wife.

Thank you guys, really appreciate it.

Lesson learned. Just need time to grieve (im just a human and i think its okay to feel sad this time), then i’ll be fine.