Manager thinks I was trying to buy her a b-day gift and now things are weird.

So the store I work at recently got a new manager a few months ago. The manger is really nice, outgoing and friendly. We get along well. We’re both the same age (both women, early 20s) and would probably be friends outside of work if she wasn’t my manager. The other day we were talking about an event that was going on at the end of the month and she mentions her birthday is right around then. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She’s says she doesn’t want anything and I reply with something along the lines of “who doesn’t want anything for their birthday” and ask her again. She then says that it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to get her anything for her birthday because she’s my boss. Which I totally agree however at the moment I was so taken aback by her assumption that I was going to buy her something that I only responded with “yeah, you’re right”.

It could have been the way I said it but my only purpose in asking was just to make conversation not because I wanted to buy her something. I’ll take the loss on the delivery but the problem now is since I didn’t clarify my position, I’m left with her thinking I was going to inappropriately get her a gift and things are slightly weird/awkward now. I plan on bringing it up the next time I see her but since I only work a few days a week I might not see her for a week or two. Should I bring it up or am I making a bigger deal than it is and move on? Thanks.

At this point let it rest and don't mention it. Sure it was awkward but act like nothing happened. If you bring it back to light you will make it that much more awkward. I hardly doubt she is even thinking as much about it as you are.

Move on. If you wanted to clarify that you had no intention of buying her a gift then you should have done so immediately. Bringing it up again now could make it even more awkward.

You pretty clearly phrased it as if you wanted to get her something. She probably felt awkward. Just leave it alone.

You pretty clearly phrased it as if you wanted to get her something. She probably felt awkward. Just leave it alone.

I agree - now you know for the future and it's ok.

You pretty clearly phrased it as if you wanted to get her something. She probably felt awkward. Just leave it alone.

I agree too. Just forget about it. In this case, only a card would be appropriate, but because it became an issue, don't do anything.

Thanks for the responses guys. I didn’t give too much thought to about how she took it. I understand a little better. I’ll just move on and not mention it. Hopefully the weirdness won’t last.

I think saying you clearly phrased it like that is too strong. She didn’t have to take it that way and could have just laughed off your “offer”. Perhaps next time rather than ask what do you want ask something like “do you know what you’re getting for your birthday?”

I agree that it sounded (to me) like you wanted to get her a gift. I mean... I don’t usually have a wish list for my birthday. For Christmas, I do. But not a birthday.

I agree that you should just let it rest now. Bringing it up again would be more awkward. It’s really not a big deal... you were just being nice :)

In future, though, I would simply ask someone if they had big plans for their birthday. That’s more in line with just having a conversation and less likely to be misconstrued.

I agree that it sounded (to me) like you wanted to get her a gift. I mean... I don’t usually have a wish list for my birthday. For Christmas, I do. But not a birthday.

 

I agree that you should just let it rest now. Bringing it up again would be more awkward. It’s really not a big deal... you were just being nice :)

 

In future, though, I would simply ask someone if they had big plans for their birthday. That’s more in line with just having a conversation and less likely to be misconstrued.

I wouldn't even do that unless the person asking is ready to be involved in bday plans. And there can be a lot of sensitivity around birthdays. "Happy birthday -hope you have a great day whatever you do!" is what I would say.