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Thread: I don't know what to do

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry but this marriage sounds doomed regardless of your parents. Marrying someone to defy your parents is never a good idea. They dislike him because he kept hurting you.
    Originally Posted by SnugglePuggle
    He was in a very bad place and said some mean things during an argument, and decided to end things in a moment of heated words he didn't mean to say. they didn't think to see that I am an adult that can make my own decisions. It took me a long time to get over him and to be in an ok state with my parents. (I still resent them for it).The last thing I can think of is just threatening them that I won't talk to them anymore without a counselor involved, and that my decision is final

  2. #22
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    They already threatened to not fund my wedding, but I also fear the anger Dad has and the possibility of throwing me out as well.

  3. #23
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    No, he never "kept" hurting me. That's just false. There are tons of people who have broken up and gotten back together and had marriages that last. So please don't be a downer on my thread. Thank you.

  4. #24
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    I don't know. That will be a huge thing to do, and the actual possibility is that the wedding will just continue where it is, but either with or without my parents.

    I didn't expect it to be hidden forever, but I hoped it would until after the wedding where my parents couldn't do anything about it.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    They shouldn't be paying for it. If they are they can have a say in it. They can also have a say in things if you are living in their house and they are supporting you, your phone, car, food, insurance, etc. If they ask you to leave you can live with roommates and work, like many 22 year olds do. If you can't handle being financially independent, are you sure you are ready to get married?
    Originally Posted by SnugglePuggle
    They already threatened to not fund my wedding, but I also fear the anger Dad has and the possibility of throwing me out as well.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SnugglePuggle
    They already threatened to not fund my wedding, but I also fear the anger Dad has and the possibility of throwing me out as well.
    You still live at home?

    I don't know. To me, if you are planning to be in a marriage, standing on your own should have already happened by now.
    It doesn't sound like you are ready to get married .

  8. #27
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    I'm ready to do that. My parents were just happy to let me be able to work on my own and not have to pay rent and bills for awhile. I was always going to move out after awhile but then the engagement came in so that went out the window.

  9. #28
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    I'm ready. I just had a hard time getting a full time job in my area after I graduated from college, that was enough to be able for me to live on my own because where I grew up, it's really expensive. Since I didn't have any experience in my field, no one wanted me and I was just having part time jobs. Then the engagement came in and of course I was going to move to my fiance's place so I couldn't get my own anyway.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How does he feel about supporting you? Have you gone to premarital counselling? Usually the logistics and complications of marriage are discussed, such as fiances, responsibilities, kids, in-laws, affection/sex,etc.
    Originally Posted by SnugglePuggle
    Then the engagement came in and of course I was going to move to my fiance's place so I couldn't get my own anyway.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    How does he feel about supporting you? Have you gone to premarital counselling? Usually the logistics and complications of marriage are discussed, such as fiances, responsibilities, kids, in-laws, affection/sex,etc.
    He is all in about supporting me. He's been saving money to fall back on if it takes me awhile to find a job in his area. And yes, we've gone to premarital counseling, and already did our course for the marriage license as well. We've talked through all of that already and are on the same page.

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