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Thread: Will this guy i've been casually dating lose interest in me on vacation?

  1. #1
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    Will this guy i've been casually dating lose interest in me on vacation?

    Some background:
    I met this guy off bumble;we have been seeing eachother for basically a month. The first date when insanely well and we basically talk every couple days and see each other sometimes twice a week maybe more, i already spend the night at his house often, sometimes itl be during the week and we will both get up and do our morning routines and then walk to work together (we actually work in the same area) ive even spent an entire weekend at his place with him. the quality of the time we spend together is great, i feel we have insane chemistry and feel very comfortable with him despite only knowing him a small amount of time, he has even told me that he told his mom about me. besides that, we are also very much affectionate with each other and are basically always touching in some way (not in sexual manner, although we have already had sex but in a manner that displays to me we wanna be connected; i.e. small handrubs while just watching tv) i feel we get along very well and it all just feels very natural which is great. Recently he just left for a trip to another country to visit his brother so i know hes going to be gone for about 2 weeks and im wondering if when hes gone will he forget about me or contact me at all while hes there? im afraid that he will lose interest in me and would like to continue what we got going on between us when he gets back

  2. #2
    Silver Member SGH's Avatar
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    It sounds to me like you're rushing the dating experience and really overthinking the early stages of what could be a budding relationship. He clearly likes you, so all you need to do at this point is take a deep breath and relax. If you get all crazy on him because he goes on a trip that he had planned well before you met him, it will be a huge turn-off and maybe even a deal-breaker. Let him lead on how frequent communication occurs when he's gone. If you don't hear from him much or at all on the trip, it would be appropriate to call him and ask about how his trip went once he's back.

    I cannot emphasize enough, though, that you need to calm down. The two of you aren't even exclusive yet and the situation does not warrant the anxiety you are experiencing.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    If he can forget about you that easily, then he's not worth the effort.
    All signs indicate that he's very fond of you. If this is the case, he'll miss you when he's gone.
    There isn't much you can do about it but keep busy and let this unfold naturally.

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    Originally Posted by SGH
    It sounds to me like you're rushing the dating experience and really overthinking the early stages of what could be a budding relationship. He clearly likes you, so all you need to do at this point is take a deep breath and relax. If you get all crazy on him because he goes on a trip that he had planned well before you met him, it will be a huge turn-off and maybe even a deal-breaker. Let him lead on how frequent communication occurs when he's gone. If you don't hear from him much or at all on the trip, it would be appropriate to call him and ask about how his trip went once he's back.

    I cannot emphasize enough, though, that you need to calm down. The two of you aren't even exclusive yet and the situation does not warrant the anxiety you are experiencing.
    I agree. Let him have a good time, and wait for him to reach out to you. You are coming off as needy and insecure, nothing is more unattractive than that. Focus on your own life and having fun with your friends.

    Do not make your bfs your entire existence.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you been in touch since he left? What was the expectation before he left about communicating?
    Originally Posted by beemea
    wondering if when hes gone will he forget about me or contact me at all while hes there?

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    Thanks for all of the replies! We have not been in touch at all since hes been gone, i figured because he is travelling and in another country to leave the contacting up to him and so far hes hasn't reached out but i'm not concerned. There actually wasnt really a conversation on if we would keep in touch while hes gone before he left. In the mean time i have been busy going out with friends and also have had two dates and am trying to keep my options open. all of this is more of thoughts in my mind about the situation and i havent voiced any of this to him specifically because i dont wanna come off as clingy, i guess im just seeing it as hopeful that he will reach out when he comes back.

  8. #7
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    How long has he been gone, OP?

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    He has been about a week and a half

  10. #9
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Well, he should. Not for any problem or lack of a healthy level of overall interest, but simply for the fact that, at least as of now, you're a tiny blip in the grand scheme of his life and he's about to go on international trip to visit his flesh and blood. Doesn't mean he won't ever have a thought about you while he's gone, but that I wouldn't expect nor really want to be a priority at this stage and in this position.

    I'm sure it'll pick right back up once he returns.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Well, he should. Not for any problem or lack of a healthy level of overall interest, but simply for the fact that, at least as of now, you're a tiny blip in the grand scheme of his life and he's about to go on international trip to visit his flesh and blood. Doesn't mean he won't ever have a thought about you while he's gone, but that I wouldn't expect nor really want to be a priority at this stage and in this position.

    I'm sure it'll pick right back up once he returns.


    Very true! and i totally understand that which doesnt concern me, the only "concern" so to speak is if the momentum we had before he left will fade like an out of sight out of mind

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