What do men think

I am dating a guy in his 50s for about 10 months. He claims, I am the love of his life, the best, dream woman, etc. When I started pressing him for commitment, he says that he is not worthy of me, I only deserve the best and he is not the best...I did talk to him trying to assure that he is the one, worthy...I asked him to move in and he refuses as well.

He only commits to exclusive relationship (I hope so), but not any further. He is known to stray once or twice but coming back with the same song... I am confused, what does it mean? Games? What do guys think?

What do you mean "known to stray"? has he cheated on you or his former gfs/wives? You mention his age. Is there an age difference that concerns you? He is not as invested as you are. Stop chasing this hard. Asking him to move in after only dating 10 months? Why are you pressuring him this much? Exclusive is fine at 10 months, but there is no future with him as you hope to envision it.

.I asked him to move in and he refuses as well.

He only commits to exclusive relationship but not any further. He is known to stray once or twice but coming back with the same song.

Was married once, 15 years, then dated a girl, for 5 years on and off, who according to him, cheated on him with pretty much all.

I am not sure what he is doing when he is staying. I dont have evidence of any kind and I dont snoop. But staying is periodical, one week per several months of togetherness. Omg, I thought, 10 months is enough.. he proposed, but took it back, then proposed again and took it back..so i thought to " help" him with commitment.

He is known to stray once or twice but coming back with the same song... I am confused, what does it mean? Games? What do guys think?

He has strayed once or twice while with you?

3 times...typically 1 week every 3 months or so.. it comes out of nowhere, but I noticed a trend. He claims that he is doing nothing when confronted. All his explanation is: " you are a dream, I cant cheat on you". Straying is not explained anyhow, more like I need time for myself.

Is this long distance? Have you ever visited him and seen his home? Is he still married/living with someone?

3 times...typically 1 week every 3 months or so.. it comes out of nowhere, but I noticed a trend. He claims that he is doing nothing when confronted. All his explanation is: " you are a dream, I cant cheat on you". Straying is not explained anyhow, more like I need time for myself.

I am confused.

Is he seeing other women while dating you?

yes or no?

I dont know. See, he does not work as he have enough funds, I work, so I can only see him in evenings and weekends. I am not sure what he is doing all day long...

No, he is local.. yes, I visited his home, he has 3 other places, supposedly rented. I visited them all. I did not see any suspicious at his places.

Was married once, 15 years, then dated a girl, for 5 years on and off, who according to him, cheated on him with pretty much all.

Well, I can see why he doesn't want to commit. A divorce, cheated on with a girlfriend and so on. But it's up to you if you want basically a Friends With Benefits kind of relationship. Are you in your 50's too? You would basically be "settling." Jackie Kennedy is quoted as saying "The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship." I would rewrite that as you go with a guy in your 20's or 30's for love, in your 40's for money, and in your 50s for companionship. Is it worth it just for him to be your companion? He obviously wants his freedom and doesn't want to be tied down. Also, he's built a little financial empire and I can see that he doesn't want to endanger it.

Thank you DanZee, it is totally true.i showed him, money is not all for me. I managed to be pretty stable, he sees it as well.

I wouldn't waste any more time with him.

He sounds odd at best, dishonest at worst. He's gone silent a few times, had proposed and revoked the offer more than once...why are you still seeing him?

When someone like this tells you he doesn't deserve you, you need to believe him.

It sounds like you already know he's stringing you along.

he proposed, but took it back, then proposed again and took it back.

Oh, I definitely feel it. Though, he tells me that I am free to date other people, if I have a business dinner, he gets extremely jealous. It's like I am free, but not. I never gave him a reason to be jealous.

Why imprison yourself with this fool/player? At 10 mos in cut your losses rather than beat your head against a wall trying to make him into a good man who wants what you want. It sounds like you would be able to find much better men who have a consistent interest and are not this dishonest/flaky.

he tells me that I am free to date other people. It's like I am free, but not.

Ouch, truth hurts..thank you.

This guy is a waste of time. There is NO future. He has no plans to ever commit to you.

When someone tells you they are not "worthy," believe them. Don;t ever try to reassure.

He has already cheated on you -shown you who he is - yet you continue to take him back. This is on you. You need to value yourself and find someone who cares and that you can trust.

Ouch, truth hurts..thank you.

But you already knew the truth, OP.

3 times...typically 1 week every 3 months or so.. it comes out of nowhere, but I noticed a trend. He claims that he is doing nothing when confronted. All his explanation is: " you are a dream, I cant cheat on you". Straying is not explained anyhow, more like I need time for myself.

I don't understand why you have stayed with this clown. Do you have a pattern of choosing liars and cheats?

That's what he told me after I pressed him last night. He send me text:" I think about you every day, but realize, you deserve only the best in this life: look, love, attention and I am not. I dont feel I worth you. I beg you to accept my feelings too."

It us so hard to find a decent guy...not sure why.

Darn, and I have a trip with him to DC which I paid for. I guess i have to accept my losses.

It us so hard to find a decent guy...not sure why.

It is what you are attracted to. There are a lot of good guys out there. YOU are the common denominator.

Take a friend and as he keeps saying "someone who deserves you".

Darn, and I have a trip with him to DC which I paid for. I guess i have to accept my losses.