Roommate advice

I live in a one bedroom in nyc. My friend moved to the city and I told him he could come stay with me for free until he got on his feet. Fast forward 6 months and he now has a job and we split the rent 50/50.

I’m leaving the city for 1.5 months and would like to find a sublet to pay my half of rent for the month I will be away. However, I asked how my roommate would feel about that and he seemed a little iffy on living with a stranger.

I’m stuck between two views: it is my apt (I’m the leaseholder), and I want to save money for the month I won’t be living here, so i should have the right to sublet. On the other hand, I don’t want my friend to be uncomfortable with a stranger. One possible solution that my roommate suggested is he can have his parents pay my half of the rent and they can come visit for the month I’ll be away. This could work but I don’t know how I feel about them paying my half of the rent. I feel that may be unfair as it is my decision/business that I’ll be away and they shouldn’t have to pay.

 

What you you think?

I would say it's fine if his parents don't mind and want to come visit. It would be weird of him to offer the alternative if they weren't okay with it, but I'd make sure before agreeing to the plan. I think you'll have difficulty finding someone to sublet for just 6 weeks, so it may be your only option anyway.

So you're sharing a 1BR apartment? I've lived in NYC for several years, so I get wanting to take advantage of the luxury of subletting while you're away, but if you're looking for someone to a) occupy the space for these select 6 weeks and to b) agree to split a 1BR with a stranger, you're gonna be scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as candidates go. I could never in good conscience even think to subject someone I call a friend to the very potential **** show that could end up becoming.

 

I wouldn't take his parent's money nor would I expect him to tolerate a stranger for six weeks in a 1BR apartment. What I would do is math out whether I'm saving enough money with him paying 50/50 to be worth sacrificing my ability to sublet. If yes, I'd suck it up and pay my half of the rent while I'm gone. If not, I'd ask the roommate to find his own place so that I can properly sublet.

So you're sharing a 1BR apartment? I've lived in NYC for several years, so I get wanting to take advantage of the luxury of subletting while you're away, but if you're looking for someone to a) occupy the space for these select 6 weeks and to b) agree to split a 1BR with a stranger, you're gonna be scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as candidates go. I could never in good conscience even think to subject someone I call a friend to the very potential **** show that could end up becoming.

 

I wouldn't take his parent's money nor would I expect him to tolerate a stranger for six weeks in a 1BR apartment. What I would do is math out whether I'm saving enough money with him paying 50/50 to be worth sacrificing my ability to sublet. If yes, I'd suck it up and pay my half of the rent while I'm gone. If not, I'd ask the roommate to find his own place so that I can properly sublet.

 

exactly this.

Also, you paid the full rent before your roomie came to live with you -- so where is all that money you saved up from only paying half the past six months?

Your roomie is a bonus to you, don't give him slumlord treatment.

So you would make your friend share a place with a total stranger who could destroy the place and have endless parties, but no to his parents who are already ready and willing to do so? How do you not see this as a win-win?

They should pay your half. They will be saving a ton in hotel fees. If they don;t come, then pay your half.

 

 

Why is he still there? I thought he was moving out after he found a job.

Who cares how the rent is paid? Particularly since he's the one who'll be at the place. He has a point about another sublet to a total stranger being perilous (theft, liability, etc). Make sure you are within your lease agreement to start renting it out bnb style. Saving a buck is not worth getting evicted. His solution is also better in that regard. Keep in mind subletting in a ONE bedroom for the exact 6 weeks you happen to be away will be difficult. Who would bother?

I’m leaving the city for 1.5 months and would like to find a sublet to pay my half of rent for the month I will be away. One possible solution that my roommate suggested is he can have his parents pay my half of the rent and they can come visit for the month I’ll be away.

The roommate is asking his parents to stay just so you don't put anyone else in the apartment, not because they are planning to visit anyhow.

The roommate is asking his parents to stay just so you don't put anyone else in the apartment, not because they are planning to visit anyhow.

Exactly. And, assuming it will work out that sharing the space will end up saving as much money as it would if she were renting alone and subletting (if it hasn't already), I think it's a pretty crappy situation to put a roommate in, never mind one you call a friend.

 

Being honest, it really borders on extortion. Speaking personally, I've sublet my place out on multiple occasions and had a pretty seamless experience. But I also wasn't subletting out an occupied 1BR apartment for some random six weeks. There are a whole lot of people in this city who slash and burn their way through subletting arrangements, and I can near guarantee that's who you'll get trying to pawn off a shared 1BR like this.

 

Again, you're on the lease, so by all means, if you'd prefer, provide your friend his due notice and ask him to find his own apartment so that you can have the freedom to sublet your place on a whim. But until then, honor your agreement to split the place between you two. And don't essentially extort his family by having them pay up so that he doesn't have to suffer the risk of discomfort or even the potential for physical harm with such a shady sublet.

 

And, really, while it's heavily exacerbated in this situation by the limited space, I've never assumed it my right to volunteer for someone else that they share a living space with anyone other than who they've agreed to do so with, particularly when someone would be standing in for me and I'm not in the vicinity to be responsible for the incoming party. It's always nice if you've got the space to do so and an understanding roommate willing to work with you, but at the end of the day, this is their living space, their quintessential zone for comfort and security, and if they're not comfortable with the idea, you cough up your share of the rent while you're gone. You don't put someone in this position. Not even in NYC.

Also, you paid the full rent before your roomie came to live with you -- so where is all that money you saved up from only paying half the past six months?

 

This is what i still want to know... if renting with the roommate has been a bonus and given you more cashflow, why is it such a big deal to pay rent while you decide to travel.

I'm willing to grant the benefit of assuming maybe it took a few months for this friend to get the job and be able to participate in this kind of arrangement. Still, even if it is a recent deal, if in the next couple months you're looking at the savings pile up all the same, I see no real financial reason to pick this battle. Again, that's speaking outside the purview of just being a decent person for the sake of being a decent person.

My friend moved to the city and I told him he could come stay with me for free until he got on his feet. Fast forward 6 months and he now has a job and we split the rent 50/50.

 

At what point will he be on his feet? What does that mean? How long do you want him as a roommate if he never decides to leave on his own? That may be the bigger issue. If his parents are willing to pay the sublet half, why doesn't he have them subsidize him in his own place so you can sublet as you wish?

If that is the case he's a house guest with an overextended stay for your financial benefit and you are lording over him? Be aware that NYC is cracking down on bnb - style abuses like this.

it is my apt (I’m the leaseholder)I feel that may be unfair as it is my decision/business that I’ll be away and they shouldn’t have to pay.?

He's getting full use for the month, so I'd take up his offer to cover the full rent regardless of whether it comes from his parents or him.

 

I would NOT find a stranger willing to split a 1 bedroom with friend. You don't know who you'd get, and that would be creepy for YOU to have in your home while you're not there. You'd have the added stress of finding a place to house all your valuables or leaving them to a stranger? Skip that. You've been living on half rent for half a year--splurge on something else.

He's getting full use for the month, so I'd take up his offer to cover the full rent regardless of whether it comes from his parents or him.

Finding it hard to imagine getting "full use" from a shared 1BR apartment that was originally all hers. You generally don't get to help yourself to all your roommate's stuff or what's reasonably still considered their personal space while they're gone. And even if we were to assume he could or should, what's the benefit to paying for extra closet space for 6 weeks? Guy's offering to pay not because it would be a sweet deal, but because it seems the only solution the OP isn't open to is paying her half she's in agreement to pay, at least by all indications within her post.

 

You agree to split rent in half with someone, you pay half your rent. If you're fortunate enough they be open to sharing with a sublessee, more power to you. But no one in their right mind would be open to sharing such a limited space with someone who would almost assuredly have to be a shady creature to agree to pay half rent in NYC for such accommodations. Again, completely baffling one could even consider risking their friend's comfort, never mind physical safety, to save a few bucks. Or how, when said roommate / friend is challenged with that prospect, any consequent "offer" could be seen as an offer rather than a payment by extortion.

 

Be a decent person and abide by your agreement. His parents aren't going to be coming over to share a 1BR apartment with their son for 6 weeks, so if they do come visit, let them offer anything they think is fair for the money they'd be saving on a hotel, or if you want to make a to-do of it, break down a daily rate based on your half of the rent.

Wow! Extortion? That’s some pretty serious accusation for simply thinking of finding a sublet. LOL. I guess all people see things differently, people live with roommates who are strangers all the time in NYC. I’ve done so myself a few times.

 

Anyways, I wouldn’t normally go through the trouble of finding a sublet while I’m away, I haven’t ever in the past, but current circumstances are pretty hard. Long story but I’ve hardly been able to afford my half of rent the past few months, which my roommate is aware of. He’s still living with me because splitting the rent helps us both.

 

My roommate came to me yesterday and told me he is fine with the sublet after thinking about it, but honestly I don’t know if there’s time! So I may end up paying for the month anyways. Not ideal but what can you do.

 

I appreciate the helpful comments that didn’t get into accusing me of being a non decent person lol. Lots of judgement on here.

Wow! Extortion? That’s some pretty serious accusation for simply thinking of finding a sublet. LOL. I guess all people see things differently, people live with roommates who are strangers all the time in NYC. I’ve done so myself a few times.

 

Anyways, I wouldn’t normally go through the trouble of finding a sublet while I’m away, I haven’t ever in the past, but current circumstances are pretty hard. Long story but I’ve hardly been able to afford my half of rent the past few months, which my roommate is aware of. He’s still living with me because splitting the rent helps us both.

 

My roommate came to me yesterday and told me he is fine with the sublet after thinking about it, but honestly I don’t know if there’s time! So I may end up paying for the month anyways. Not ideal but what can you do.

 

I appreciate the helpful comments that didn’t get into accusing me of being a non decent person lol. Lots of judgement on here.

 

If you can't afford your half --- why are you going on vacation? Can you delay your trip? Can you do Uber or Lyft or some other gig work to make up the difference?

 

I am just curious, though - in a one bedroom -- do you have bunkbeds or does someone sleep on the sofa? I am just wondering where the sublet person would even stay? )i am not saying that in an accusatory manner - just wondering how a 1 bedroom could really be half sublet?)

Wow! Extortion? That’s some pretty serious accusation for simply thinking of finding a sublet. LOL. I guess all people see things differently, people live with roommates who are strangers all the time in NYC. I’ve done so myself a few times.

 

Anyways, I wouldn’t normally go through the trouble of finding a sublet while I’m away, I haven’t ever in the past, but current circumstances are pretty hard. Long story but I’ve hardly been able to afford my half of rent the past few months, which my roommate is aware of. He’s still living with me because splitting the rent helps us both.

 

My roommate came to me yesterday and told me he is fine with the sublet after thinking about it, but honestly I don’t know if there’s time! So I may end up paying for the month anyways. Not ideal but what can you do.

 

I appreciate the helpful comments that didn’t get into accusing me of being a non decent person lol. Lots of judgement on here.

I'm no stranger to NYC. I don't volunteer roommates to share a 1BR apartment with a stranger who, by your admission, you don't have time to properly even search for, let alone properly vet.

 

To even consider it is truly garbage behavior toward someone you call a friend. Sincerely, recalibrate your ethics. If you can't afford to pay half rent on a 1BR, leave the city. We don't need implants who don't even have the means nor the courtesy to spread wealth into the community taking homes from families who need them.

Same here. Born and raised New Yorker. I would never put upon any friend with having them live with total stranger in a 1 bedroom.

Why not put him on the lease?

He’s still living with me because splitting the rent helps us both.