Do you ever believe in second chances in love?

Do you ever believe, that years down the line, more mature, older, wiser... two young loves can reconnect and live happily ever after?

All the advice here seems to be cut out, block... but what, if two people are just meant to be?

Im a sensible girl, well educated, have an amazing life!

However, i cannot shake this feeling, its like the universe trying to tell me something... I don't know... #life

Do you ever believe, that years down the line, more mature, older, wiser... two young loves can reconnect and live happily ever after?

 

All the advice here seems to be cut out, block... but what, if two people are just meant to be?

Yes. I've seen it happen. You know what? They did not maintain steady contact during the years they were apart. Boundaries are necessary.

Yes, I do believe it is possible. However, it is very uncommon and thoughts such as these keep people stuck on past partners that will never return or be a good fit for them. These rare situations occur organically, which means no waiting around, convincing, or attempting to coerce the person. Also, I find many members who come here wish to reconnect with partners that were obviously treating them poorly or abused them. Beat to just leave sleeping dogs lie in most cases.

Its depressing really :( I don't know what to do with these emotions that never fade...

Give us some background.

I have only seen it happen once, to be honest.

What's your situation, OP?

Sometimes early in life and pair falls in love and get together. But perhaps it is the wrong time for them and they both need more experience in the world and life. I don't see why they could not run into each other way down the road and continue the happy loving relationship.

There is nothing wrong with hoping this might happen in the future, but if you hold a candle for it and put off other opportunites because of it, it becomes unhealthy and almost obssessive in nature.

Its depressing really :( I don't know what to do with these emotions that never fade...

What were the circumstances of your breakup? It's possible that's there's a chance, but it is also possible you are stuck in denial and could use a heavy dose of reality.

Jb

Try thinking in present day terms only. Sometimes a present day situation represents to us a future vision. We feel like, if we let the person go, we lose our shot at the future we envision.

Two things - we can't control other people so we have to let go. It is a skill that we must learn in order to make a relationship stick, oddly enough.

2 - Let go of the future vision. Reframe it so that you see ways to achieve different futures, all of which are acceptable to you, and none of which depend on any one relationship.

Your life is your path. Don't let the absence of someone obscure your path. Own it.

Absolutely! As a matter of fact, I may one day end up in AZ with my first! I date, I even fell in love since him.

Neither of us discount the possibility, we leave it up to chance, but don't focus on it. Life goes on and our lives are separate and we don't make decisions based upon it. Obviously we have contact, we've never lost it through the years. So......

 

1) let go

2) live life!

3) do not entertain thoughts of getting back with anyone who was toxic to you. I'm not a big believer that that toxicity can turn around, even with years of growth. Some people just don't mesh well in a relationship, but can be non toxic with someone else.

4)) love yourself and realize your value. Maintain your independence from the ex.

5) true love doesn't die with distance, or NC. It just changes. Set your mind free of it. Someone can hold a place within your heart, but never allow them to occupy a large space. Make room for others. People reunite often years later, you just don't hear it here on this forum because most are here seeking advice on problems and heartbreaks.

I agree with these comments. True love doesn't die... it also doesn't mean that two people make a desirable relationship. It evolves. There are specific people out there who are special to me, whom I loved decades ago. Whose boundaries I respect and whose happiness I secretly root for, and whose presence has zero impact on my ability to fully connect with someone. My bf loves his exW, as he should. She is awesome. They just don't match up for a lifelong partnership.

I mention that, OP, because your affection for this person may be best expressed in a different sort of relationship. Let go of whatever feels like a struggle and trust in the future to show itself when the time is right.

Yes. I've seen it happen. You know what? They did not maintain steady contact during the years they were apart. Boundaries are necessary.

This. I know a couple who were destined for each other. But they had a horrible breakup and went 3.5 years without speaking before being reunited. If it is fate, time and space cannot change anything.

Do you ever believe, that years down the line, more mature, older, wiser... two young loves can reconnect and live happily ever after?

 

All the advice here seems to be cut out, block... but what, if two people are just meant to be?

Yes, we did. We were not really young the first time around but we both grew and changed a lot in our 8 years apart in ways that were complementary. It's not about "meant to be" -we reconnected and we discovered we were interested in each other and interested in putting in the effort to give us a second chance. We broke up in our early 30s and married in our early 40s. Now were' in our early 50s. So far so good!

Possible but it's rare. Second chances rarely happen after damages have been done and words have been said.

I do believe that this is possible. I agree with several other posters here- sometimes, the timing is just wrong or you both are just in different places of maturity or in life itself. My aunt and her first love just reunited after being apart for almost 40 years. They both married and lived separate lives for 4 decades, and now they have remarried --to each other---and they are in their late sixties now.

I just reunited with an ex that I grew up with in the church. We were high school lovers but we grew apart while in college. We went our separate ways for 20 years; seeing each other occasionally at church functions over the years. We JUST reconnected the latter part of June- and he took me to visit his family (whom I hadn't seen in 2 decades Or more) and we reconciled. We are moving in together as husband and wife in 9 months. So yes, it's not common but it does happen!!