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Thread: Online Dating Issues...

  1. #1
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    Online Dating Issues...

    I was talking to this guy on a well-known dating site. I sent him a message a while ago and he didn't respond. I sent him another asking why he didn't respond. The reason why I messaged him in the first place was because we had several common interests. Anyway, he posted a picture of our conversation with my username and profile picture as his main account picture. I reported him.

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    Originally Posted by Iio
    I was talking to this guy on a well-known dating site. I sent him a message a while ago and he didn't respond. I sent him another asking why he didn't respond. The reason why I messaged him in the first place was because we had several common interests. Anyway, he posted a picture of our conversation with my username and profile picture as his main account picture. I reported him.
    That is clingy needy behavior. If a guy (or girl) doesn't respond to your 1st message, do not send another one, they aren't interested. W/my online dating experience I sent a ton of messages that weren't answered, but I moved on and messaged other guys.

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    That's not what was bothering me...

    Originally Posted by Iio
    I was talking to this guy on a well-known dating site. I sent him a message a while ago and he didn't respond. I sent him another asking why he didn't respond. The reason why I messaged him in the first place was because we had several common interests. Anyway, he posted a picture of our conversation with my username and profile picture as his main account picture. I reported him.

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    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    So all you said was "why didn't you respond?"

    From what I understand, people are BSing a lot less when it comes to pushy or harassing messages on OLD. Have seen a few people posting screenshots on Facebook. While I personally consider some it a bit petty, I'm actually kinda good with it if it leads people to start thinking twice about what they can get away with online. No one owes anyone a response, and while, in essence, someone not taking no for an answer has generally been an issue women face, I'm just as well ok with a guy bucking when a woman pulls that kind of behavior.

    I'm also having a hard time imagining this follow up of yours being as simple and innocent as you're implying if he felt compelled to single you out like that. But even if it is a case of him being petty, lay off confronting strangers for them not returning your attention. The silver lining is I'm assuming you're both straight and not a whole lot of your target demographic is going to be seeing his profile pic anyway.

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    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    The man's response was out of proportion to your intrusion, if it was just two messages as you describe.

    Even so, it is rude to ask of a stranger why he didn't reply to you. And it doesn't matter why. All you need to know is that he isn't interested. Whether its because he is on the verge of getting engaged, doesn't like how you spell your name, is too busy detailing his toy train, or is actually Sean Penn posing as a commoner (in US terms)... what does it matter? He is not available to you, so you go knock on a different door. That is all and yes it IS that simple.

    It is not his job to risk offending you by answering your question, nor to teach you better skills, nor to protect nor boost your ego. He is investing his time and energy elsewhere. Let him.

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    Why would you message him after he didn't respond ?

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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why would you message him after he didn't respond ?
    I read his profile and we had idiosyncratic common interests. I thought we would be compatible. I wanted to know if he didn't like me physically or if he didn't answer because we lived too far away from each other. His profile didn't have a distance cap, so... I thought it was something about me physically. Regardless, it doesn't matter anymore

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    Originally Posted by Iio
    I read his profile and we had idiosyncratic common interests. I thought we would be compatible. I wanted to know if he didn't like me physically or if he didn't answer because we lived too far away from each other. His profile didn't have a distance cap, so... I thought it was something about me physically. Regardless, it doesn't matter anymore
    Oh no. Don't ever do that. You come off as being incredibly insecure. Not attractive at all.

    If someone does not respond, do not reach out.

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    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Iio
    I read his profile and we had idiosyncratic common interests. I thought we would be compatible. I wanted to know if he didn't like me physically or if he didn't answer because we lived too far away from each other. His profile didn't have a distance cap, so... I thought it was something about me physically. Regardless, it doesn't matter anymore
    Even if he did not respond because he wasn't physically attracted to you, why would you care? It sounds like you have insecurities that you feel need to be validated by men. Work on your self-esteem before continuing to date. If you can't honestly say to yourself that you feel you are a valuable partner irrespective of others' assessments and choices, you have no business online dating.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    It is important to retain your personal power. One man's opinion of you, or a trait of yours, is relevant only with respect to that man.

    Dating is a highly individualistic endeavor. Just be you; that way, whomever you attract will like you for you.

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