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Thread: Girlfriend Accepting Nudes from Another Woman

  1. #11
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    You are talking as if she is giving me an ultimatum. I have had fantasies of other women, I am sure all women fantasize about other men. In this case my girlfriend fantasizes about another woman as well.

    She is 100% ok never indulging that, she is 100% fine being with me. I do not at all think being bi-curious and wanting to try it once to see how it is with me involved no less, is doing anything wrong. We are on the same page as being ok with both sharing another woman

  2. #12
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    First to the OP, I can't say either way whether accepting nudes of other women is "cheating" since she was open and honest with you about it. To me cheating is "deceit" and I don't see any of that here, unless I missed something (which I may have).

    I also applaud you for speaking with her about your concerns, instead of jumping to conclusions that she was "cheating" (stepping out on you with other women).

    You say your RL with her has not suffered, she still remains quite loving and sexual with you, which is fabulous!

    Re her and other women, it's hard to say without more info; but at the very least I commend both of you for being so open and honest with each other about it - your fantasies, your sexual likes/dislikes, etc..

    I am a bit confused about something Snny posted though (below); Snny I hope you don't mind my addressing this.

    Originally Posted by Snny

    Due to these misconceptions, it’s the reason why I still haven’t disclosed to my husband (after over a decade of being together) about my true sexual preference.
    I am not gonna judge you for not disclosing to your husband (not my place to do that) but confused when you say your "true sexual preference."

    I surmise you're saying that your preference is for women; from what I understood about bisexuality, one didn't have a preference per se, they became attracted to (and able to fall in love with) both men and women, and would do just that depending on who the person was (a man or woman).

    Is this not correct?

  3. #13
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    ^misworded. Was suppose to say “orientation”

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Snny
    ^misworded. Was suppose to say “orientation”
    Deleted my initial response (in case you had read it).

    I understand, thanks for clarifying!

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by comegetsum
    You are talking as if she is giving me an ultimatum. I have had fantasies of other women, I am sure all women fantasize about other men. In this case my girlfriend fantasizes about another woman as well.

    She is 100% ok never indulging that, she is 100% fine being with me. I do not at all think being bi-curious and wanting to try it once to see how it is with me involved no less, is doing anything wrong. We are on the same page as being ok with both sharing another woman
    If a woman wants to have sex with someone else - be it man or woman, its cheating. You will likely regret inviting another woman into your bed together. There may be jealousy if you are too attentive to the other woman or your gf is and ignores you. Or if your gf becomes close to that other woman. Its a can of worms. Remember, that other person is not a blow up doll. they are another human being who has feelings and can also decide that they want more from your girlfriend. Maybe you should breakup and go no contact if she wants to 'explore with women"- because she is already cheating on you by accepting nudes. or you draw a line and say :if you want to be with me/you are with me - no getting nudes, etc.

    How would you feel if she was receiving nude photos from another man and said "i want to experience sex with a man that is taller/shorter/better endowed/a different skin color than you?

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    If a woman wants to have sex with someone else - be it man or woman, its cheating.
    Even if it's discussed and agreed beforehand that it's okay?

    I always thought that was an "open" RL, which is not cheating.

    Cheating is doing something without your partner's knowledge, deceiving them.

  8. #17
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    Argg, why these problems never happen to me....? Lucky guy OP

    OP if you bring a girl for a threesome, you should keep in mind there are high chances the relationship will be over pretty soon. On the other hand, if she suppresses her sexuality, she will break up with you inevitably. If I were in your shoes I would enjoy the threesome as long as I could.

  9. #18
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    Well, it's beyond fantasy since she is now interacting with real people and exchanging photos.
    And regardless of the genders or orientations, she's involved another person in what was an exclusive monogamous relationship up until she started goofing around behind your back.
    Sure, she told you when confronted, but she was playing before having a conversation with you about if you would agree to opening the relationship up.

    I guess if you aren't interested in something monogamous, this works. But it's a roll of the die of where that will lead to.

    If you want a committed totally monogamous relationship, well, then yes you have reason for concern. Doesn't matter if it's men or women - introducing play with people outside the relationship runs counter to that.

    And personally , I would consider any partner of any sexual orientation who is not out of the 'experimental, not sure who I am' or not confident enough to be upfront about it - a risky proposition for a long term commitment.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by comegetsum
    Not at all. I told her what I am ok with in this relationship with her and her fantasy or experimenting. I told her I am ok if she wants to indulge with another woman if I am involved in some capacity.
    I'm saying consider widening that permission - so that she can have some extra activity without you involved it. Who knows, she might form a sort of FB relationship with a lady who persuades her to get you involved.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Even if it's discussed and agreed beforehand that it's okay?

    I always thought that was an "open" RL, which is not cheating.

    Cheating is doing something without your partner's knowledge, deceiving them.
    I agree, which is why I am saying you* need to decide if you're happy to give your partner a little license to stop a possible frustration building on their part, and damaging your relationship. Without you involved. It's their thing.

    *Meaning anyone in a relationship with a partner with a high sex drive, who just needs a little variety to keep 'em happy.
    Last edited by RayRay63; 07-05-2018 at 10:04 PM. Reason: clarity

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