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He asked me to come over, does he only want sex?


Merissa

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I met this guy at a party after his friend told me he likes me. It was pretty obvious cause he was staring at me constantly without looking away.

We started chatting then he took me outside of the house and we just cuddled and talked until early in the morning.

He said he would text me, which he did and after a few days of talking he asked me to come over in his dorm room. I immediately thought that was a red flag, however our mutual friends think otherwise.

They all say he's a nice guy. I need to mention he didn't even try to touch me inappropriately when I was drunk, he didn't even try to kiss me. He seemed very shy and kind of scared to make any moves, so maybe there is a possibility that he just wants to cuddle again and watch movies like he says?

Or am I being completely gullible? If I decide to go and he tries to do more than just kissing, what do I do without being awkward?

 

Thanks.

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So you haven't even been out on a date and he wants you to come to his dorm room? He may be nice and shy and all, but he still wants sex, or at least a good feel up.

 

How about you ask him to take you on a date, even if it's just meeting for coffee or lunch. A dinner and a movie might be nice. But meet somewhere in public and get to know him before you let him get in your pants. And if you do find yourself in a "situation" you can jump up and say you've got to meet a friend and leave. Don't let him beg you to come back. Just leave.

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Why didn't he ask you on a real date rather than to his dorm room for 'netflix and chill'? Up to you if you want to start hooking up with him or not.

he asked me to come over in his dorm room. maybe there is a possibility that he just wants to cuddle again and watch movies like he says?
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I met this guy at a party after his friend told me he likes me. It was pretty obvious cause he was staring at me constantly without looking away.

We started chatting then he took me outside of the house and we just cuddled and talked until early in the morning.

He said he would text me, which he did and after a few days of talking he asked me to come over in his dorm room. I immediately thought that was a red flag, however our mutual friends think otherwise.

They all say he's a nice guy. I need to mention he didn't even try to touch me inappropriately when I was drunk, he didn't even try to kiss me. He seemed very shy and kind of scared to make any moves, so maybe there is a possibility that he just wants to cuddle again and watch movies like he says?

Or am I being completely gullible? If I decide to go and he tries to do more than just kissing, what do I do without being awkward?

 

Thanks.

 

Yes he wants sex otherwise he would take you somewhere in public. This doesn't mean he isn't a nice guy... nice guys want sex too.

 

If you are not interested in sex, and want to see if he is interested in more than just sex from you, don't go and hang out at his dorm room with him... get him to take you on an actual date.

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Oh, I'm sure he "likes" you but for what remains to be seen.

 

I agree with everyone who says to tell him you'd like to spend time with him getting to know him better and would he like to meet up at (insert public place here).

 

Don't meet anyone where they sleep. It is a poor place to start to get to know someone.

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If you're interested, express that you would like to meet somewhere else. Lunch works well, or pick a fun summer activity. Sounds like a booty call, but it doesn't necessarily mean he'd be against more. His attitude about a date will tell you what you need to know. Some ideas are mini-golfing, drinks at a pool hall, a day at the local pool, etc. If you casually invite him along, he will likely accept. Good luck!

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Certainly seems like he wants sex. Whether that's all he wants, none of us could tell you. If you want sex and are okay with the possibility that's all that may ever come of it, head on over. If not, suggest coffee. At the end of the day, you'll never be a mind reader, so focus on your own boundaries and the best environments to assert them within rather than asking no one who's met the guy what the guy is thrinking.

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I'm interested in hearing how he let you know that. Did you suggest meeting out in public or did you ask him what his intentions were or something?

He was saying how he'll try to be a good boy, but can't promise anything. That I don't need to bring anything or wear anything. Then I told him I'm not up for something like that, he said he thought I was. We said our goodbyes and that's it. It's so weird, nothing could literally make him think I just want sex.

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Y'all were right. He actually just admitted he only wants sex. I stopped texting him. Thank you for replies.

 

Good. Going forward, you don't need anyone to 'admit' to wanting sex. Either someone will go out on a date with you, or not. If not, you can avoid allowing yourself to be positioned badly by responding, "I'm only dating at the moment. If you'd like to go out on a date with me, you can let me know. Otherwise, I can watch TV at home, thanks."

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He was saying how he'll try to be a good boy, but can't promise anything. That I don't need to bring anything or wear anything. Then I told him I'm not up for something like that, he said he thought I was. We said our goodbyes and that's it. It's so weird, nothing could literally make him think I just want sex.

 

Sadly, a lot of women today who want relationships lead with sex and ask questions after. You were smart enough to ask questions first. You're going to do fine. Just stick to your boundaries.

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