Trying to reconnect short time period...

Hello

I am writing in this relationship forum because I am having some troubles with my ex. A little background: We dated for 2.5 years out of high school and we were on and off for about one year of that. Lots of trust issues lead to our demise. We concluded talking completely this past December and we had no interaction until we exchanged birthday wishes in May (our birthday is 3 days apart). During this time I was overseas and she had asked me to get her a sweatshirt from London, I did so and I said it would be on the condition that she meet me to get it.

A few weeks later, I return home to her not wanting to meet with me, her being iffy, some days wanting to talk to me and somedays not at all. My thoughts have been all over the place, my life was a living hell with her and has never been better since I left her. Being in contact with her and coming home over the summer (I go to school 3 hours away) has made me want her again. Whether that be as a friend or as a girlfriend I cant figure it out, but what I know is I want her in my life. There was one day where I sent her a long parapgrah message explaining what I want and miss and stuff like that. She responded and I ignored her for two days, then she told me she wanted to be friends with me again.

Since she refused to meet with me I tricked her and told her I left it outside of her door, and just waited there so I could surprise her. At first she was mad but then I looked in her eyes and I could tell that she still loves me, I told her a joke and she laughed like old times and the interaction went well and she agreed to reconsider. She would change her mind back and forth over and over again and she said that was due to her “not being ready to see me”. She tries to pick fights with me while I just want to be civil and it sucks.

Our last interaction ended with her calling me a liar and saying shes sick of me, I responded by telling her im not lying and then she hasn’t replied since. I head back to school in a month but I really want to save whatever connection we have left so that it doesn’t fade forever once I leave again (I come home some weekends, and she used to visit me). Please give me any pointers you can on what I can say or do to try and gt her to see the light that she still loves me.

Thanks

She may still have feelings for you, but you have been stuck in the back and forth dynamic for too long. Why are there so many trust issues between the two of you? Unless the issues that exist between the two of you can be resolved, there's no point in trying to get her back.

Also, you mention that you're not sure if you want her as a girlfriend or as a friend, but you end it by saying you want her to love you. Sounds like you are playing a game, and she's likely picking up on it.

You should leave her alone. Neither of you are going to heal if you keep going back opening that old wound. It's torture and you are torturing her and yourself. Instead of being in denial about the relationship, you need to move to acceptance of the situation. Accept that it's over. Tell yourself it's over. Stop contacting her. You need to move on.

Please don't ever "trick" anyone into seeing you. Yikes!

You are acting desperate, OP. It is also not a matter of "getting her to see light" that she still loves you; obviously, she does not or she would be with you.

When you have to trick someone into seeing you, it's over. You need to let go.