He cut me off financially

Update to my situation and recap. We have been married for 21 years. He moved out may 25, has been seeing this 28 year old... hes 40, for months while living with me and i didnt know. Found out 4 days after he moved out. She is at the end of her divorce which she left her husband for mine. Hers in finalized end of august.

Hes been paying the bills. I work part time if that. Today he told me hes not giving me any money out of his paycheck and if i have needs i need to go thru my lawyer.

I have learned lots of things about our financials since he moved out. He has huge credit card debt that i didnt realize at all. Like over $30,000. After house bills and credit cards hardly any money is left each paycheck... but he takes her out to eat using our joint checking account multiple times a week. I can just imagine what hes putting on the credit cards..

Im frustrated as ever and not sure how to survive im looking for a full time job with benefits but hard to find when i really have no skills.

Im going after allimony and child support and we have a temp hearing on aug 13. Any advice is welcome. We live in wi so 50/50 no fault state.

He didn't financially cut you off. Pursue your entitlement per your state / locality and its child support and alimony protocol. I have no idea who you are or who he is to make any character judgments. But I'm sure your lawyer's advice wouldn't be to complain about the financials here.

You need to empty your joint bank account and cancel all credit cards in your name. If you can't cancel them, you can put them on hold so he can't use them to charge stuff. Any cards in his name, stop paying, they're his problem. You need to get a lawyer immediately. You do not have a "no fault" divorce if you don't agree to a "no fault" divorce. If your child is his, you need to make sure you sue for child support and since you don't have a job, you will need alimony too. Do not just sit there and take it. Call a divorce or family lawyer TODAY! Where he's left you for another woman, proof of adultery may change the amount of child support and alimony you receive. Get a lawyer.

What does your lawyer advise you to do?

Yes go through an attorney. Division of assets and financial arrangements are black and white in divorce not ad hoc or at will. Why haven't you filed for divorce? If you had, accounts would be frozen and he couldn't be withdrawing money from joint accounts. He also can not hide money or touch any joint assets such as retirement accounts etc. You are focusing way to much on his affair, her age, etc. when your focus should be on obtaining a good attorney and a forensic accountant. You need to get to the bank, get detailed statements and obtain credit reports in your name/SS# and his. Immediately change all your passwords to accounts and change beneficiaries to any of your own accounts, insurance policies, etc. to your children. Also whose name is on your cars and home? That too will have to be dissolved and divided.

I have learned lots of things about our financials since he moved out. He has huge credit card debt that i didnt realize at all. Like over $30,000. After house bills and credit cards hardly any money is left each paycheck... but he takes her out to eat using our joint checking account multiple times a week.

I filed for divorce june 14th and i do have an atty. He said we cant do anything till the temporary hearing we have set for august 13th. Most of everything is just in his name. 1 of the 3 cars we have is a joint ownership with us both on it. Every thing else all cc and house and 2 cars are in his name. In wisconsin you cant use adultry in the court system. Its just a unreconsible differences and thats it.

Yes, and it's a good thing you can't use adultery, otherwise a whole lot of abused spouses afraid of the consequences of leaving but still desiring a loving partnership would be suddenly and unjustly screwed.

It's for real taking 60 days to get a hearing for child support?

Your attorney doesn't realize marital property is joint property, unless it was owned prior to marriage? Your attorney won't let you go to the bank, review your accounts, check your insurance policies, change your beneficiaries, or get a credit report? He sounds like a clown and as though he's not informing you properly if what you wrote is true and just padding the bill doing nothing. Who is stopping you from opening bank and credit card accounts and establishing credit in your own name?

You are way too focused on his affair, her age, them, etc and that is the problem and will be your downfall. Divorce is for the logistics. You need to employ a therapist to navigate the emotional end. Divorce is not for revenge, punitive damages or "justice", it's for the legal dissolution of marriage and division of assets. Very few jurisdictions still have "grounds" for divorce such as adultery. It would make little to no difference in the final outcome anyway. You'll get what you are entitled to.

Child support/visitation/custody are laws separate from divorce proceedings. Please don't punish or use your child as a pawn to get back at him. Many scorned/angry parents do this and only hurt their kids in the process.

Every thing else all cc and house and 2 cars are in his name.

I filed for divorce june 14th and i do have an atty. He said we cant do anything till the temporary hearing we have set for august 13th. Most of everything is just in his name. 1 of the 3 cars we have is a joint ownership with us both on it. Every thing else all cc and house and 2 cars are in his name. In wisconsin you cant use adultry in the court system. Its just a unreconsible differences and thats it.

Ask whether filing for a legal separation would protect you from further debt. If this lawyer isn't proactive enough to tell you all of your options for self protection, then find a better lawyer.

My advice would be to seek some councilling right away ( often there are free services available if you look hard enough) to get yourself out of your victim mentality and in the drivers seat of your life as soon as possible.

I am sorry your marriage is dissolving due to infidelity. That would be hard for anybody, especially when you have a child ( ren).

Do I feel sorry for you though that you now have to be responsible for taking charge of yourself? Well, no, frankly. You made choices along the way here - not to gain skills, not to work and to become comfortable with someone else providing for you and to be passive in financials.

You have legal rights which means you and your child won't starve by any means. Educate yourself, take the reigns on legal council and getting your own house in order . You'll be fine - if you have to work, it's not a death sentence.