Should I keep chasing her or would I not be respecting myself ?

Greetings Enotaloners!!! I am back. Back to enjoy the abundance of your guys' wisdom and experience. This site has really helped me with previous relationships

So as some, who have seen previous posts, may know, I dont have a good history when it comes to romantic relationships or rather, the type of girls I choose. Well my ex and I broke up 3 months ago, but I have gotten over her and have been at peace these last couple of months and then... You guessed it, someone new has come to the picture.

So I was playing at a soccer tournament 3 weeks ago and a friend of mine came to support and she brought a friend. I was instantly semi-attracted to this friend. After the soccer tournament (Of which we were knocked out at group stages) us as the soccer team had planned an after party. We decided to invite my female friend, her friend and a couple of other girls. My intentions were to explore things with this new girl. So on that day myself and this girl got along well. I got really interested in her and she seemed interested. Cut the story short we ended up sleeping in the same bed after going clubbing. I tried to touch her and make a move in bed but she stopped me and said that shes not that girl you can sleep with on the same night. Truth is I wasn't trying to have sex with her, I was just looking to make-out, so I wasnt bummed at all.

After this "rejection" we talked for about an hour (this was around 4 am after we had gone clubbing). She told me that she had broken up with her ex 3 months prior to that day and that they had been dating since she was 17 (she is now 21 Im 25). She said she didnt want anything to do with any guys anymore as they are "just nonsense". However, after our conversation, i held her in bed and she allowed me to. And we slept. Next day we chilled in bed for a while just talking about our history and I told her about my ex too. At this point I could tell she was interested, the convo was really good the next morning and she showed interest in a relationship with me. She joking said she treats her bfs like kings. I replied that I wish I was that king and she said you can be when youre ready. I asked her what makes her think Im not ready and she replied that I seem too busy for a relationship (to some extent is true but I would make time for her). I said since she doesnt stay as far as my ex did, it wouldnt be too bad

I dropped her off at her place later that day. Maybe I lost points with my driving because my driving the next morning was terrible (I think I was still intoxicated from the previous night). Just as i dropped her off we kissed (Mind you after all that that was my first time kissing her) and she said "You are a national treasure". She even suggested we meet up again.

After that day we talked on whatsapp and a couple of phone calls (seems to not like phone calls) but i dunno, things didnt seem the same. She seemed to be pulling away she doesnt continue with the conversations until I text a second time. So I asked her to meet up this past weekend and she said she wont be able to coz shes leaving town. This was a blatant lie though. I could tell from her response as I asked her to meet up over the phone. She was obviously lying it was easy to pick up. After this lie I decided to pull away a bit myself. I dont text her as often. I try to ignore her for full days but usually when I post a status on whatsapp she would post one just after I do. I think its to get me to say something because previously I commented alot on her statuses. Its hard to resist when she "calls" for this attention. When I do respond to the statuses she seems unresponsive until I push the conversation then she engages. I feel that Im not respecting myself and feel a bit desperate for trying to pursue her after that lie. But Im trying to be understanding about this lie (1st offence? and maybe fear behind that lie?)

I cant really confront her of that lie (as yet) as its her word vs mine. Is she having trouble trusting that her heart is safe with me? Is she double minded about a new relationship? Did she just plainly lose interest. Can I pursue this and if so how?

Thanks for this opportunity

Much Appreciated

Why are you up in her business? You're getting upset over someone you barely know. You're calling her a liar. You're stalking her social media. Give it up, dude. You got to cuddle with her. She's just out of a long-term, 4 year relationship and broke up with her first love. Why are you trying to pressure her into something she doesn't want to do.

So here's what's really happening: her "lie" was to let you down gently. She doesn't want to go out with you. And she's not calling for your attention by posting on Whatsapp. It's in your mind.

Look, go bother someone else. Move on. Or maybe it's too soon for you to date since you're just out of a relationship yourself. But do calm down and pursue someone else.

How do you know she is "blatantly" lying about not being in town to meet you?

Given that you hardly know her, it's impossible to guess if she's been more distant because she just doesn't trust guys in general or if she's just not that interested. It seems the initial boozy encounter and hungover kiss wasn't a reliable indicator of genuine interest, which is often the case.

I am inclined to suggest you move along to find a girl who's clearly expressing mutual interest, and offers an alternate date if she can't meet you when you suggest. This one is also fresh out of a long-term relationship, which is usually not a good starting point for a new dating prospect.

If you catch yourself "chasing" a woman, stop. She's either emotionally immature for running to be chased, or you're full on creeping on her when she's not interested. Neither's a good look.

Move on. You are making another bad choice.

She got out of a long-term relationship three months back, and told you she was not ready for anything. She is not interested.

You met this person once, you seem obsessed and stalkerish. You need to pull way back and address how you interact with women.

You just met her. I doubt she has any of the thoughts you're speculating about.

As straightforward as this is, I do appreciate the response. However I'm not stalking her, I don't know if you've used WhatsApp but the status notifications of everyone (not just her) show and when I'm free I post something and her feed just comes up soon after mine. I don't go looking for hers. Also I haven't pressured her into anything. However i have heard your opinio.

Thanks for the advice

When I'm silent she has in some occasions broken the silence by commenting on my statuses aswell.

Just block her or delete her and then you won't be seeing her alerts. Move on.

When I'm silent she has in some occasions broken the silence by commenting on my statuses aswell.

Meh, this really doesn't mean much.

She's not engaging you in meaningful conversation and she's been evasive about meeting again. That is what is most important here.

I tried to touch her and make a move in bed but she stopped me and said that shes not that girl you can sleep with on the same night. Truth is I wasn't trying to have sex with her, I was just looking to make-out, so I wasnt bummed at all.

 

dating since she was 17 (she is now 21 Im 25). She said she didnt want anything to do with any guys anymore as they are "just nonsense".

 

Just as i dropped her off we kissed (Mind you after all that that was my first time kissing her) and she said "You are a national treasure". She even suggested we meet up again.

I'm all for not jumping on sex so fast too, but dude let's be real if a woman wants to have sex she does, these "I'm not one of these girls" 90% of them would drop panties faster than

you think if it was Johnny Depp or DiCaprio next to them, but it's only you sorry.

I have tried dating women who said very honestly they didn't want anything, thinking yeah she's in my bed so it's bull... 100% of the time they actually didn't want anything other

than comfort and a manpillow. Plus dating a guy since 17 till 21, man she has no clue about relationships and I'm betting she now wants to hop on the party wagon, so do yourself a

favor and run away from her as fast as you can.

Honestly do you want to be with a woman who calls you a "national treasure" after just a few hours together and who then ignores you blatantly, this doesn't sound like interest at all and

even not really mature, but again only one 4 year relationship from college, what are you honestly expecting here !?

As others have pointed, you seem pretty hung up on her just after sleeping in the same bed, you don't know this person you're projecting and I'd advise you actively stay single and reflect

on what makes you so "needy" and out of reality, sure love messes with our heads, but I think you need to realize there is something in you that you have to work on, no man that's well

in his shoes idealizes a woman like this after one night, that's not good man, not attacking you but really it's not healthy.

Sounds to me like she wants to be single and probably enjoying the little bits of attention you are giving her - especially if she has just had a big break up. You are her ego boost through the post break up stage, nothing more. Go NC and you'll probably find you've forgotten all about her in a month or so.

It's not an attack it's true. In fact this is the usual pattern with most girls I go for. I'm needy towards girls specifically the ones that most guys want. I know I have esteem issues. The answer to this post was actually obvious, I guess I just wanted to vent

Yea after the answers received her I have begun NC.

Block.......

Another bad choice in woman.

I have kissed tons of dudes while drunk, not drunk, and don't ever call them back. She just broke up with someone MAJOR who also by the way said, "didnt want anything to do with any guys anymore as they are "just nonsense"." Dude, c'mon. You don't even need to read between the lines. Those are her lines.

Don't get hung up on anyone who isn't reciprocating interest, and that means, taking turns calling, inviting out, planning stuff to do, texting, emailing. Go for the mirror approach. You do, they do. They do, you do.

Really appreciate this and will always remember this!