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Thread: Wife already found someone new even before the final divorce

  1. #1
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    Wife already found someone new even before the final divorce

    I guess you can say Iím heart broken, I fought for the marriage to save it. Our final court date is aug. 28th to sign the final papers. She has zero interest so it seems in me anymore. She in the last couple weeks already found herself a 22 year old that apparently has a great job but still lives at home with his mom and dad. I guess the age gap shouldnít be a thing as sheís only 27 and Iím 29. Itís just the fact one of the reason she wanted out was we were so young and now wants to start over with a man thatís around that same age we were.... within the last month apparently heís amazing and treats perfectly from what she tells me. Already close with his sister as they went to school together.

    I donít know if Iím looking for advice or just using this thread to vent. Nothing I say changes her path which iv had to come to terms that I wouldnít be able to do that anyway. There goes 10 years of my life and she canít even end it before finding mr. right.

    I hurts knowing I fought as long as I did for her time and affection and within 4 days of us hooking up last she finds someone new. I mean right up to that point we messaged and talked daily. Still went out to eat every so often. Then this guy shows up and I donít exist anymore or Iím not good enough. Pretty ty feeling.

  2. #2
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    Oh, she left you emotionally way before pulling the plug.

    It hurts, yes, but move on. Sign the divorce papers, stop communicating with her.

    And definitely do not listen to any new romance stories she offers or from anyone who knows her.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
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    Her finding another guy - though how long this will last under the circumstances! - is rubbing salt into an already extremely raw wound. Unfortunately, efforts to keep in touch with someone you've effectively disengaged from will stop any healing, or pull the scabs off any healing you're managing to do. It's just postponing the inevitable.

    However, rather than focusing on her and feeling victimised in all this (because that's likely to make you feel even worse), focus on the fact that you did absolutely EVERYTHING within your power to keep the relationship going. It didn't work. It didn't work because she's totally the wrong person for you. But when your grieving and healing is over, you will be free to find someone who is better suited.

    Your ten years wasn't wasted. During that time you will have grown as a person and gained in maturity, and will be better equipped in the future.

    Oh... and apart from any legal arrangements you need to make, have absolutely nothing to do with her. Niente, rien, nada. Leave her where she belongs, in your past, and let her do what she will with the little boy she's found for herself. That's not your concern, and don't let her or anyone else update you on what's happening with her.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by rb1
    ...one of the reason she wanted out was we were so young and now wants to start over with a man thatís around that same age we were....
    Well, I think she's actually saying that she's changed and she's not the same 17-year-old girl she was 10 years ago. As for this 22-year-old guy, who knows? Just someone she hooked up with.

    You have to focus on yourself to heal and move on. Try not to get caught up in her drama.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. However it sounds like he's only mr right-now.
    Originally Posted by rb1
    There goes 10 years of my life and she canít even end it before finding mr. right.

  7. #6
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    Well, now she wants to try and text throughout the day. Get to work and get a text about our son and arraignments. However, then she just starts telling me about her day.... what is the point of that, she has a man to confide in. So I had to stop the conversation and just told her nicely itís not a good idea to talk.

  8. #7
    Sounds like she checked out long before the finale.
    Iím sorry youíre going though this.

  9. #8
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    sorry man :/

  10. #9
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    Im really sorry to hear this. Based on what youre saying it sounds like the relationship is well and truely over. I feel this new guy is just a way to hurt your ego and fill in the void left for her.

    I reckon with time and space she will come back, be it just to know you want her still or for something more. You gotta do whats right for you.

  11. #10
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    sounds like grass is greener syndrome....

    "She in the last couple weeks already found herself a 22 year old that apparently has a great job but still lives at home with his mom and dad" - He probably has insecurities...

    "Itís just the fact one of the reason she wanted out was we were so young and now wants to start over with a man thatís around that same age we were.... within the last month apparently heís amazing and treats perfectly from what she tells me." - sounds like a honeymoon phase as he is treating her as new guy usually treats his new lady...


    "within 4 days of us hooking up last she finds someone new" - Possibly seeing this dude way before the time...

    So it seems like she wants to relive her early 20's? yeah not very smart and with a younger guy yeah I'm sure he has long term goals with her...

    Rather divorce then to stress about this, I was in the same boat as you, but my ex went with a older man.. her "daddy" as I call him....

    Dont be surprised if the "guy" avoids you, OM tend to do that.....

  12. 02-21-2019, 03:26 PM


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