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Thread: should i unfriend him

  1. #1
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    should i unfriend him

    So I live in a student accommodation in the university, one day I saw a guy from Grindr who was just 19m away from me and I thought he was quite cute. My profile was blank because I don't want anyone to find out that I was on that app. So, I said hi you are close and I went on and sent him a photo of mine. after I waited for a few hours he finally said I was cute.

    We kept on chatting and later we found out that he lives in the same hall, and he was just upstairs. A few days later, I asked him to add me on facebook, and we chatted there for a few days and we finally decided that we should meet on the night. He came to me, we started to chat about uni stuff, and I wanted to make sure we were all ok so I asked, do you like me? he said I don't know. And he asked me the same question, I said I don't know too. And we started kissing and we had sex. I felt like he was interested in me.

    But the next day at night, I wanted to just say hi and see what he was up to. he didn't respond and I was really anxious, I couldn't sleep for the whole night thinking about the bad things. the next day in the afternoon, he finally responded and said: "i just cleaned my room". So later that night, I started to realise maybe he was not interested in me after all. So, I asked him you don't seem like you were interested in the conversation, do you like me? he said: "I don't think I do". I was heartbroken at that point. It made me feel like I am so ugly. I said I hope we could still be friends, he said for sure I will see you around.

    I am very frustrated and upset at this point, even though it's been a few weeks since that happened. I feel depressed every single day thinking about that. I would never have expected something like that would happen to me. Especially, I see him sometimes in the hall now, by accident, he always says how are you. now I feel so scared to even go out of the room because I am afraid that I'd bump into him. I am thinking that maybe I should unfriend him, just pretend I don't know him or should I continue this "friendship".

    But if I unfriend him it would've been awkward to see him around, especially we live in the same hall and there are some events around on campus, it's inevitable that I will see him quite often in the future.

    From what I think, I really felt like at some point he was interested, but after what he said, I don't want to give myself false hope anymore, it's exhausting.

    what should I do, please give me some advice? Thanks for reading, and I appreciate your responses.

  2. #2
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    Awe OP I'm sorry!

    It sounds like you were just a one night only thing with him. I would unfriend him and if he asks just tell him you can't be just friends and it's better you cut contact. It's the truth and that way you can move forward. If he gets upset it's on him since he basically used you for sex.

  3. #3
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    So I shouldn't be friends with him? we live in the same building... do you think he used me? do you think it is because he shouldn't have had sex with me, and when I asked to do you like me when we first met, he should have been honest upfront?

  4. #4
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    Yup. I agree. One night stand thing.

    You were just a hook up. He probably shouldn't have done it with someone he was going to keep running into. He might have thought that's what you were looking for too. You were on Grindr after all. He wasn't looking for a relationship. You should try to move on. These things happen. It probably won't be your first time this happens. You have nothing to hide about. He's the one that should be hiding from you.

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  6. #5
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    Well to be fair I think it's not really possible to know if you actually like someone from only briefly chatting on an app and meeting only once. I'm a female but some of my male friends have used Grindr and from what I know of it, it's primarily just a hookup/sex app. I think if you wanted to come across as wanting to date then you should have actually gone on a date and not just invited the guy to your room straight away. I think he did just use you to be honest. I know it was wrong of him to do that after you'd asked him if he actually liked you but I guess sometimes people are just wanting a hook up and not being considerate of the other person's feelings

  7. #6
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    Now that you say it, I do feel like I was used, I asked him "do you like me?" before we even started to kiss...

  8. #7
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    Iíve felt used like that too. But really we both just need to be more patient in evaluating people before we let them get that close. He might well have liked you in the moment but you need time to get to know people so even if he did, it isnít you he liked, but an impression.

    Absolutely yes you can Unfriend him. Even if you were going to be friends youíd need a while to reset and let your feelings fade.

  9. #8
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    You weren't used. You put yourself on Grindr, you swiped his profile, you accepted his offer of sex. Where were you used?

    You're upset because he doesn't like you to take things further. You're hurt. I get it.

    But don't play the victim here.

    And yes, I'd unfriend him, as you never were friends to begin with. You friended him so you could message him, keep up with him. He's told you with crystal clear precision that he doesn't want any more from you.

    I know this hurts. I've been there!

  10. 07-02-2018, 08:23 AM
    Reason
    Flaming/Disrespectful

  11. #9
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    i never would have accepted the sex if he only just said he didnt like me, stop saying these thing when you dont ing know how to say nice things

  12. 07-02-2018, 08:26 AM
    Reason
    Flaming/Disrespectful

  13. #10
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    Thread closed.


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