Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi! Im a 29 year old woman from the USA. Im completing my last year of studies in nursing and Im also dealing with a LDR with a man from Germany. We have been together for 2 years now and he is planning to settle in the USA next year. Our relationship has a lot of ups and downs lately... we dont get to see each other much, let alone talk much on skype because of the time difference and the fact that my work hours are crazy! The beginning of our relationship was really amazing... we used to talk a lot more, he used to be more romantic and I genuinely felt like he really wanted to be with me... but then a lot of things got me doubting our relationship...he really prioritizes his friends all the time and even friends who take advantage of him and who arent trustworthy... we barely talk... he keeps telling me that he loves me and that hell be here for good next year but he hasnt figured out how to come here as in he hasnt done any paperwork or informed himself and Im always the one doing all the research and informing him instead... he keeps telling me that hes just not good at organizing stuff because of his and I really find that odd... we wont be seeing each other at all this whole year because he cant afford to come visit me, but he goes out every weekend with friends (probably spending a lot of money). He keeps telling me that he needs to save up so we can afford to buy a house when he moves here... lately, he doesnt even compliment me, we dont sext anymore, he never surprises me (the worst is that he is so predictable that it kills me... I can literally predict his every move), he doesnt put any effort into dating or making me feel special! During our entire relationship, he never even gave me a card for my birthday for instance! In the beginning of our relationship he told me he wants to get married and now suddenly he says he doesnt believe in marriage but he would marry me because i believe in it... I feel like he no longer is attracted to me anymore... he also has this ex thats in the picture... but he claims that theres nothing going on between them and they dated when they were really really young... I just dont know what to do anymore... I dont know if hes seeing someone on the side... but at the same time he tells me that nothing changed between us and that he really wants to be with me... I dont know what to do anymore...

Link to comment

This sounds like every Internet romance (not long-distance romance) we hear about on ENA. The guy's been playing you. You've been living a romantic fantasy in your mind while he's gotten his rocks off with you a couple of times and now he's losing interest. If he does decide to come to the US, you'll be supporting him because he won't be able to work here. Chances are he's not going to move anyways. And he could have a girlfriend in Germany or he's hanging around with his ex.

 

You need to wake up. Stop wasting your time chatting and Facetiming with this guy. You need to look for love where you live. Get out of your house and get out and meet people. You're not going to find Prince Charming on the Internet. You have to find someone you can have a real relationship with. Someone who's there all the time. Who you can go out on dates with. Start being proactive. Is there anybody at work? Anybody you run into regularly? Can your friends suggest someone? Does someone you know have a nice brother? How about a distant cousin you know? You've got to start looking!

Link to comment

Why are you wasting your good dating years on some guy that gives you lip service only about being with you? Dump him, block him so that he can't hoover you back for more wasted time with him, heal from your addiction to him and then put yourself out there to find an attentive guy that lives close enough to you to nurture a relationship.

Link to comment

Do you mind me asking what is the back story of this? How did you end up in a LDR with a guy from Germany? Have you ever actually met him in real life? If you've never even met him in person then I'm sorry to say but I think he probably was considering to move to the US and he just needed some assistance to come there so he found you and started the online relationship. Sorry to sound like I'm undermining your relationship but if you've never met in person and he seems to be drifting away then he probably never took you that seriously.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...