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Wanting to Move out


Chocolate25

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Hi Everyone,

I know I keep talking about wanting to move out.I know I've been advised by Music man thousands of times to move out. However, Moving out isn't an easy task at all. My job needs more skills and learning. Cost of living is rising in California. I do feel that it will take me a while to move out. My aim is 1-2 years to be out of my parents house. In all honestly, I don't want to wait for marriage to solve my personal freedom problems I have at home. Marriage isn't going to solve all of my problems.

My worries are if I move out by age 29-30, will all the men be married off or taken away? How will i be able to make new friends or start a new life?

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What do you mean by "lack of personal freedom"? It seems unrealistic to have to wait until 30 to move out of your parents home. There's more to this than cost of living. Many people much younger than you live on their own perhaps with roommates to help defray costs. What's the real reason? Is it cultural that you have to be married to move out? Or that you want a lifestyle with cars, phones, clothes, etc. that you couldn't afford if you had to pay for your own responsible things like rent, utilities food etc.? "Cost of living in CA" sounds like an excuse. Also most people could have a couple doctorates by age 30 so education also sounds like an excuse.

I do feel that it will take me a while to move out. My aim is 1-2 years to be out of my parents house.I don't want to wait for marriage to solve my personal freedom problems I have at home. Marriage isn't going to solve all of my problems.
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What do you mean by "lack of personal freedom"?

 

It means she can't bring a man home and have sex. Or drink or smoke. Or sit around in her underwear.

 

This is sort of a continuation of the question the OP asked a few minutes earlier:

 

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552059&p=7018291#post7018291

 

I detect a little bit of whining in your question. You have to decide what is important in your life, make goals, and try to fulfill them.

 

Yes, California is ridiculous and people are moving out of the state in droves. Maybe you should consider a better job in Utah or Nevada. If you want to stay where you are and you want to move out, then you have to look into a roommate situation. Look on Craigslist.

 

And you shouldn't worry about whether all the good men are going to be taken by the time you're 30. You're just looking for one man. What are you doing to find Mr. Right right now? A nice guy would be looking for more than a one-night stand in your bachelorette apartment. Living at home should not be an impediment towards that goal.

 

So making male friends does not rely on you having your own apartment. You make friends through other friends and people you already know.

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I moved out on my own at age 28 after I finished grad school. I had more than enough $ to do so and was glad of that. It was a huge boost for my independence and improved my relationship with my parents too. I lived on my own for 14 years (got married at 42). I never officially lived with anyone for more than 2 weeks, one time, before I married. People have different paths. As I wrote on your other thread I don't think it's too late for you in the least. Good luck!

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It's not easy but it's totally doable and a healthy challenge to move out on your own. It honestly sounds like a lot of excuses for why someone else should take care of you when you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself. That's just crippling yourself .

 

The longer you wait to do it, the harder it will be. You are so accustomed to dependency , you know all the words to delay independence and to excuse it. You don't want to be like the 30 year old lady I had the misfortune of working with a while ago ( and once I had the chance, I fired her), who can't even hold down a job because she thinks the world is here to be her overindulgent mother.

 

All your relationships will be stronger ones for learning to stand on your own two feet.

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  • 2 months later...

Actually you are in their space. Work hard, earn money doing anything you can, as many part time jobs as you can get, etc. Cut back on phone, car, clothes and other "treats" you are over spending on and need to start saving more on. Start looking for house shares, roommates and grown up affordable living situations.

My parents are almost always in my space... So what am i supposed to do??
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