My girlfriend has been treating me really bad lately

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about a year now, everything was good. She would be cute and sweet with me, she’d write me cute letters and sent me nice text messages. It all changed when she got pregnant. I do everything in my power to keep her happy. I go above and beyond to see her smile and i don’t get that in return anymore. Her attitude towards me has been the absolute worse. She’s even told me that she doesn’t care what happens with us anymore. She isn’t cute anymore cause she says that all that stuff is wack. She calls me names and often gets very agressive for no reason. I can’t say or do anything cause i’m scared to trigger her anger. I can’t even be myself around her anymore cause she find me “annoying”. She says she doesn’t love me anymore and that she lost all respect for me. But the next day she says she misses me and that she does love me. She wants to argue for every little thing and can’t control her anger. I want to think it’s the pregnancy hormones but sometimes she says things that sound so legit. I wanted to know if it’s something i should worry about or if it’s just the pregnancy hormones and it’ll pass by, i really love this girl and i want the best for her and our baby, but i just don’t know what to do anymore, i want the best for my kid. Please help. I need advice on what to do.

Well, I was going to ask you if you had any experience with pregnant women before, but you answered your own question. I would only be worried if she was acting this way before the pregnancy. If not, then give her as much support as you can ... and when are you going to marry this girl?

Do you live far apart? Was this planned and do you both want a family after dating less than a year? She may be hormonal but she's really angry at you for something you're not mentioning here, otherwise she wouldn't be this bad.

she’d write me cute letters and sent me nice text messages. It all changed when she got pregnant. says she misses me i want the best for her and our baby.

Well, I was going to ask you if you had any experience with pregnant women before, but you answered your own question. I would only be worried if she was acting this way before the pregnancy. If not, then give her as much support as you can ... and when are you going to marry this girl?

You're kidding, right?

Pregnancy isn't an excuse to turn into a nasty flake. I'd seek legal advice first thing. Then I'd tell GF that since she doesn't care what happens to us, I'll take her up on that. She can let me know if she's ever interested in making our relationship work and what counsellor she's willing to visit with me to make that happen. Otherwise, this is the phone number of my lawyer.

I try to give her support but sometimes she doesn’t even let me help with anything. She says she’ll be better off raising the kid on her own. And that gets to me because i want to be there and be apart of this. She’s not really giving me the rights that i deserve. And i was planning on proposing next month but after all this idk anymore

Well, I was going to ask you if you had any experience with pregnant women before, but you answered your own question. I would only be worried if she was acting this way before the pregnancy. If not, then give her as much support as you can ... and when are you going to marry this girl?

I try to give her support but sometimes she doesn’t even let me help with anything. She says she’ll be better off raising the kid on her own. And that gets to me because i want to be there and be apart of this. She’s not really giving me the rights that i deserve. And i was planning on proposing next month but after all this idk anymore

Well, I was going to ask you if you had any experience with pregnant women before, but you answered your own question. I would only be worried if she was acting this way before the pregnancy. If not, then give her as much support as you can ... and when are you going to marry this girl?

Do you live far apart? Was this planned and do you both want a family after dating less than a year? She may be hormonal but she's really angry at you for something you're not mentioning here, otherwise she wouldn't be this bad.

We live seperate right now but plan to move in together once the baby arrives. It honestly wasn’t planned. We’re both 21 so we’re not kids anymore. At first she would always say she did want a family and now that she’s doing all this it makes me think that she never meant those things??

Why is she saying all this? Obviously there's a problem you didn't mention here. Do you live together? Once the child is born you'll have all the rights you need. It's not her call. You have the right to visitation/partial custody and paying child support. She has no say over any of that. That she wants to end the relationship is an entirely different matter. You have no "rights" to a pregnancy per se nor a relationship she obviously doesn't want.

She’s not really giving me the rights that i deserve.

I agree with Wiseman,

There has to be more deep issues that triggered this behavior. Ive heard of pregnancy hormones but this doesn't sound like that at all. I think you need to dig a little deeper OP.

I'm going to state what seems to me very basic and the most likely reason for her anger, she's 21 !

Let's elaborate, like many women of our century she's shoved in every day that she can enjoy life and have a career do everything, then when she's 30ish if she wants she can have children with a good man.

I'd say she realizes this is all gone now and resents you for it, if this is the case I'm afraid you're screwed because it will never get better you should prepare yourself...

I hope that I'm wrong in your sake, but anyway you should stop being nice as I've seen hormonal women, they contradict themselves a lot and it's all about craving and suddenly something making them,

cry or sad. Your girl says deliberate and very elaborated nasty stuff, that's very different and hormones aren't causing this or any excuse at all, so stop acting like the rug she clean her shoes on.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about a year now, everything was good. She would be cute and sweet with me, she’d write me cute letters and sent me nice text messages. It all changed when she got pregnant. I do everything in my power to keep her happy. I go above and beyond to see her smile and i don’t get that in return anymore. Her attitude towards me has been the absolute worse. She’s even told me that she doesn’t care what happens with us anymore. She isn’t cute anymore cause she says that all that stuff is wack. She calls me names and often gets very agressive for no reason. I can’t say or do anything cause i’m scared to trigger her anger. I can’t even be myself around her anymore cause she find me “annoying”. She says she doesn’t love me anymore and that she lost all respect for me. But the next day she says she misses me and that she does love me. She wants to argue for every little thing and can’t control her anger. I want to think it’s the pregnancy hormones but sometimes she says things that sound so legit. I wanted to know if it’s something i should worry about or if it’s just the pregnancy hormones and it’ll pass by, i really love this girl and i want the best for her and our baby, but i just don’t know what to do anymore, i want the best for my kid. Please help. I need advice on what to do.

Being (apparently) the father you do have to be careful given our current societal and legal climate. I would speak to an attorney to get a realistic autopsy of your rights and responsibilities, but under basically no circumstances would I put up with an abusive relationship like the one you currently occupy.

On the one hand you must have patience. But on the other hand, as I was told by familiar girls who gave birth to several children in their lives, "the girl's pregnancy does not have any emotional shifts." That is, it's some kind of game invented by pregnant girls. She's just afraid of something. But she can not understand what exactly. It's the Girls ...

My girlfriend and i have a baby on the way. She’s 5 months now to be exact. Her attitude towards me changed once we found out she was pregnant. She used to be very sweet very charming very nice to me she would say how much she loved me and how she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life, but after all this happened she’s like a whole new person. Everyone tells me it’s just her hormones but she told me otherwise. She keeps telling me that she doesn’t love me anymore that she doesn’t respect me she often says some really rude comments and very rude things to me when all I’m trying to do is be there for her. she pushes me away and doesn’t want to see me or talk to me at all, I can’t say or do anything because she turns into a anger machine. Is there anyone else who has experienced this before ? Is it the hormones or is it really just her not wanting to be with me anymore, I really don’t know what to do because I just want the best for my kid.

Never been pregnant but watched how women change during pregnancy. My biggest question would be if she wanted a child at this point in life? If not she might have grown resentment towards you for the pregnancy. If so, women do go through many changes and it's very uncomfortable to be pregnant. My sister became a total to my mom and sister during her pregnancy but mellowed out afterwards. That's why it can sometimes ruin a relationship because this time is very challenging for those closely connected to the expecting mother. If there's any added stress it only makes it worse then there's the possibility of post Patten depression. So my advice would be to try to be as understanding and helpful until the baby is born and if things get worse, have a serious talk.

* my sister became a total raging demon*

Every woman is different.

Someone that was close to me was the sweetest, kindest most generous person when she was pregnant ( 5 times) and none of those things when she wasn't. But I've also heard of women completely turning the other way.

However.. don't let this be an excuse.

Being hormonal is not an excuse for being a sh*tty person.

There's a difference between someone saying I love you but I'm angry with you. I want to be with you for as long as possible in this life, but right now in this very moment I can't stand to see your face.

VS

Someone treating you like crap, being intentionally disrespectful and hurtful.

I would set some boundaries with her. Tell her this is not the kind of partner you want and not an environment in which you want to raise your child. Make suggestions to her about how she can redirect her rage towards some thing else besides you.

If you're not able to fix this you may want to consider getting information on how you can file for custody / partial custody once the child is born.

Even pregnant I still adored and loved my husband.

Consider a paternity test. It's possible you're not the father. Hormones can change a woman, but they aren't enough to cause the level of conflict you're experiencing currently. The timing of her change in attitude with the pregnancy seems suspicious.

I don't buy it unless she is like this to everyone, including at work or school and then if so she should get checked out. I've heard funny stories about women in active labor being "mad" at their husbands for putting them in that position but that's it. When I was pregnant I felt more tired and more emotional. I don't think I took it out on my husband. I was thrilled to be pregnant and so was he. He was supportive as far as letting me get more rest and traveling more to see me because I had to stop flying (we were long distance!). He came to doctors' appointments when he could. I do know women get hormonal and also can experience severe medical symptoms which of course can affect mood but she doesn't get a pass at treating you this badly.

Well, you asked this same question on July 1:

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552058

I would say to read those responses again. Yeah, hormones do play a role, and you should help her as much as you can. You need to ask yourself, what are you going to do? Are you going to marry her? Are you going to support your child? She may be angry because you're not promising to step up and do your job.

Threads have been merged.

How long have you been dating? Does she live with her parents? Do you both have jobs? Are either of you in college or unable to support yourselves? She's angry at what a mess this is. Don't blame this on hormones alone. You both sound wholly unprepared to be in a committed relationship, no less instant parents.

Why not try to solve some of the logistical, financial, emotional and multitude of other issues here. Like finding appropriate jobs, a place to live, whatever baby stuff you need to get and prepare for and getting involved as an expectant father. Take some parenting/birth classes together. Ask older adults you trust what you can do. Do you have a good relationship with your mother/father or her parents?

We live seperate right now but plan to move in together once the baby arrives. It wasn’t planned. We’re both 21

Sounds like my bestfriend. My girlfriend was so sweet to her husband and then a year later they had an unplanned pregnancy and wow she was soooo mean to him. I felt genuinely bad for him, I know he stuck it out and now that the baby is here everything is a lot better. I am not on her side saying it is okay to be mean while you are pregnant. Yet, I have never carried a baby so I can't relate. She may be anxious and scared if this was an unplanned pregnancy but I would keep giving her support even though it sounds like you are being a punching bag. I am sorry. See if things get better after the baby. Maybe the baby will bring you two closer together than you have ever been before. Prayers.