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Thread: ARE YOU SUICIDAL? if so, what do you want them to say?

  1. #41
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    "I believe in you, you make this world and my life better."

    "I love you so much, please don't ever leave me."

    These are the best I could think of, but I don't know. When I've been at my lowest points, I don't think there was much of anything that anyone could say to me to 'save' me. I'm not even sure what kept me going through some of it. I think maybe the biggest factor was just my mom, how much I love her and how much I know she loves me. And that I couldn't leave her with a son that chose to die... I couldn't ever put her through such torment.

    Loneliness is the real killer here. I think what would've helped me more than anything in my worst times was just a deep, affectionate hug and just the feeling of someone truly being there, without even having to say a word. Just through their nurturing, caring ways and the positive energy they gifted me with. They also say that laughter is the best medicine and yeah, if I'd have had someone around to make me truly laugh out loud regularly and just put those good feeling endorphins into me -- that probably would've helped a ton too.

    I think it's less about what anyone could say but more so just feeling truly loved and valued and cared for. Whether that be in a romantic sense or a platonic one. Just having someone truly there.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LikeWater
    I think what would've helped me more than anything in my worst times was just a deep, affectionate hug and just the feeling of someone truly being there, without even having to say a word.
    Personally I agree with this....I was extremely lucky that a long term friend of mine came to me in my darkest days in 2018. She would bring me food and just sit and rub my back whilst I sobbed uncontrollably. No words were needed and that act alone brought me more comfort than anything else I can remember through those times*

    Sadly though, she too moved on eventually....People can only handle so much*

    Glad you're feeling better LikeWater*.....In fact I went back and read this thread and I hope everyone who posted in here is doing ok*

    Carus*

  3. #43
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    Thank you, Carus, and I'm glad that you did have that lovely friend of yours to bring you some comfort and happiness. You are right, though, and I think it's something everyone needs to try to understand, that people can only help for so long. It would be draining for even the purest, kindest soul. Maybe the most draining for them, actually. When someone you really care for is in so much pain, you're in that pain right along with them.

    This is why I'm such a strong advocate for people who are struggling to please try talking to a professional. They have chosen to make their living by listening, comforting, and caring. Keep looking until you find one you like, too.

  4. #44
    Bronze Member courtney06's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LikeWater
    "I believe in you, you make this world and my life better."

    Loneliness is the real killer here. I think what would've helped me more than anything in my worst times was just a deep, affectionate hug and just the feeling of someone truly being there, without even having to say a word. Just through their nurturing, caring ways and the positive energy they gifted me with. They also say that laughter is the best medicine and yeah, if I'd have had someone around to make me truly laugh out loud regularly and just put those good feeling endorphins into me -- that probably would've helped a ton too.

    I think it's less about what anyone could say but more so just feeling truly loved and valued and cared for. Whether that be in a romantic sense or a platonic one. Just having someone truly there.
    ....
    You are right, though, and I think it's something everyone needs to try to understand, that people can only help for so long. It would be draining for even the purest, kindest soul. Maybe the most draining for them, actually. When someone you really care for is in so much pain, you're in that pain right along with them.

    This is why I'm such a strong advocate for people who are struggling to please try talking to a professional. They have chosen to make their living by listening, comforting, and caring. Keep looking until you find one you like, too.
    I wholeheartedly agree. Having someone there who really cares is essential. I just completed a 12 week intensive program that was lead by a therapist. That was the first time I've felt so heard, acknowledged, and understood by an actual therapist. I've had therapy in the past but not on that level. The 12 week program is over and it is on my bucket list to continue therapy.


    I don't remember if I mentioned this already, but I spent most of my life being codependent on people (especially people who aren't that qualified). I often found myself venting and seeking help from people who weren't capable of giving me the support and being the friend I needed. I also struggled to communicate my needs with them. When they told me their needs and showed signs that they needed space, I failed to really acknowledge it because I was so caught up in my problems. This often lead to them getting even more distant and ultimately ghosting me. This is one of the biggest lessons I learned from the 12 week program. Honestly when I first realized how my codependent behaviour was part of the reason I endured a lifetime of being ghosted by different people, I felt so much shame at first. My heart shattered in a million pieces. I never meant to cause so many people to feel so drained. Especially to the point where they feel they cannot be in my presence anymore. I just needed help and to feel loved and accepted. With the help of that therapist, I picked myself back up. Now I am much more selective of with who I vent to, who I seek mentoring from, and actually utilize the skills they teach me to help myself.

    Now some of those people were actually narcissists and psychic vampires. After that 12 week program it's a lot easier for me to identify them now. I stay far away from those people.

    Originally Posted by Carus
    Personally I agree with this....I was extremely lucky that a long term friend of mine came to me in my darkest days in 2018. She would bring me food and just sit and rub my back whilst I sobbed uncontrollably. No words were needed and that act alone brought me more comfort than anything else I can remember through those times*
    That's so sweet I'm glad you got to experience that type of friendship. I hope to experience that more in my life and also offer that to certain friends who have been consistent with me.

    I'm doing a lot better since I first commented in this thread. Please know I'm far from perfect and I'm always growing. One of the biggest skills that have helped me this year is committing to being my best friend. I go above and beyond with self-compassion and giving myself pep talks. Also, after 7 years of being stuck in artist block I started drawing regularly again since January 2019. Drawing is a MUST for me. It's one of my main therapies and outlets. I may not love everything I'm drawing and I may get impatient at times, but I'm grateful I've been so consistent with it. The perseverance alone is huge for me.

    Also, my spirituality (non-religious) helps tremendously, but I won't get into that here unless someone wants to know.

    My only New Years resolution for 2019 is to stay alive by choice. So far so good, but there is still a part of me that worries. I'm grateful I have found better support and hopefully I will continue therapy soon.

    I hope everyone is doing better too and if not I hope you learn to love yourself in the darkness

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