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Thread: ARE YOU SUICIDAL? if so, what do you want them to say?

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    ARE YOU SUICIDAL? if so, what do you want them to say?

    Ive dealt with suicide SO many times in my life. I havent had a thought for around a year. Maybe I'll tell my story later on a different post, but something that I remember happening when I was VERY suicidal, was everyone told me "Dont do it". It ALWAYS pissed me off. I'd think to myself, "why not?" and then people would say, "You're an idiot", or "Your selfish", and none of them I wanted to here, and it always just made me want to do it more. It wasn't until years later until I read something in a book that changed my mindset.

    But Im curious, if you're currently suicidal, whats one or two things you WISH someone would say to you. and if they did maybe it would change your mind?

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    I recently told my ex... Suicide is selfish because it hurts the people you leave behind, but I am not saying I don't understand it. Tomorrow is always another chance to make things better...

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    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    The best move, in my opinion, is to ask the person why they want to kill themselves. Then, all you need to do is listen.

    Trying to convince someone against the decision is a waste of time. A lot of people want to kill themselves because they are in an unbearable amount of pain. Every day they wake up and have to face the pain and suffering over and over again. It's important to acknowledge that their reasons for wanting to end their life are good reasons. Belittling a person by calling them selfish or telling them their reasons are silly will cause them to shut down and refuse to speak on the matter.

    Once you've truly listened to the person, you can offer yourself as support. Most of the time suicidal thoughts are momentary, or at least they do not last forever. Providing solace and hope is the only way to save a person who does not see the light on the other side, until the feeling is given a chance to pass.

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    Originally Posted by SGH
    The best move, in my opinion, is to ask the person why they want to kill themselves. Then, all you need to do is listen.

    Trying to convince someone against the decision is a waste of time. A lot of people want to kill themselves because they are in an unbearable amount of pain. Every day they wake up and have to face the pain and suffering over and over again. It's important to acknowledge that their reasons for wanting to end their life are good reasons. Belittling a person by calling them selfish or telling them their reasons are silly will cause them to shut down and refuse to speak on the matter.

    Once you've truly listened to the person, you can offer yourself as support. Most of the time suicidal thoughts are momentary, or at least they do not last forever. Providing solace and hope is the only way to save a person who does not see the light on the other side, until the feeling is given a chance to pass.
    I agree. Hope is so important!

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    100% what SGH said. As someone who deals with long-term depression I can tell you what I don't want to hear:

    -"It's selfish to kill yourself; think about all the people who will grieve for you." Let me flip the script here, I think it's incredibly selfish to want someone to live in any sort of long-term pain just because a set group of people can't handle loss. Now I understand that depending on the situation, suicide is probably not the answer. But if someone has tried everything and they are in immense physical or emotional pain where they can't make it go away or their giving up....I feel it's their body and their right to do whatever they want. I don't think it's right to make them feel bad for making a decision they didn't come to lightly.

    -"If you're ever in pain, call the suicide hotline" Yes, we all know about the suicide hotline and it's not going to solve any long-term issues

    I know people want to help and no one wants to see anyone take their own life, especially someone close to you...but unless you've been in their shoes, don't pretend you know or understand the solution. Sometimes these things aren't temporary. All you can do is offer to listen and show your support. Show much you care for them; Most times that will be enough.

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    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    A best friend of mine committed suicide last year...

    I'll let this thread I made speak for itself, from the perspective of someone who had to deal with pain. I am still not 100% over losing her:
    [Register to see the link]

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I was suicidal for 35 years. I am no longer. It is something i almost never talked about to anyone. Life gets better. I am glad I am here .

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    I would be lost without you.

    I lost a person very close to me a few years ago. He didn't die from suicide, the last conversation was me talking about it. There are days when I feel lost without him.

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    Gold Member ApocalypseDreams's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SGH
    The best move, in my opinion, is to ask the person why they want to kill themselves. Then, all you need to do is listen.

    Trying to convince someone against the decision is a waste of time. A lot of people want to kill themselves because they are in an unbearable amount of pain. Every day they wake up and have to face the pain and suffering over and over again. It's important to acknowledge that their reasons for wanting to end their life are good reasons. Belittling a person by calling them selfish or telling them their reasons are silly will cause them to shut down and refuse to speak on the matter.

    Once you've truly listened to the person, you can offer yourself as support. Most of the time suicidal thoughts are momentary, or at least they do not last forever. Providing solace and hope is the only way to save a person who does not see the light on the other side, until the feeling is given a chance to pass.
    ^This is great.

    SUICIDE. IS. NOT. SELFISH. Anyone who says so has not truly been there and is just adding to the stigma around suicide that stops people being more open about their feelings and asking for help.

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    Originally Posted by chie83
    I recently told my ex... Suicide is selfish because it hurts the people you leave behind, but I am not saying I don't understand it. Tomorrow is always another chance to make things better...
    Someone should suffer so you can sleep better that night, what does that make you?

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