Work with ex and slept with another co-worker

I work with my ex and I ended the relationship because we argued continuously and he was controlling and possessive. My ex scares me as he’s done some bad stuff to me since the breakup.. physical and threatening stuff. After some work drinks I ended up sleeping with another co-worker. I asked the person not to say anything to anyone at work. However I’m really scared it will get out and am worried what this means for my job. My ex will literally blow his temper. I really don’t know what to do. Please help.

Get another job, and get a restraining order through the police.

Yep, and use Tinder for hookups. Not your workplace.

Get another job, and stop getting involved with coworkers

I agree with others here. Not only are you at risk of losing your job, your reputation will hit rock bottom, as well.

Thank you all for messaging. I think I will speak to the guy and ask him not to tell anyone and look for another job ASAP. Is this that bad that I need to resign?

You don't need to resign, you need to avoid your ex. If he's abusive and you get a restraining order, he has to quit. Date outside of work either way. Do not give the hookup the play-by-play of all your relationship problems. That adds to the gossip machine and there is no guarantee that he'll be quiet. Keep your personal business out of work. Avoid all this drama.

Don't demonize your ex to other coworkers, especially the hookup. It makes you look crazy for sleeping with office people, getting drunk, etc. Either be serious and get a restraining order or just go about your work, without dragging this one-night-stand through your rescue scenario.

Thank you all for messaging. I think I will speak to the guy and ask him not to tell anyone and look for another job ASAP. Is this that bad that I need to resign?

I work with my ex and I ended the relationship because we argued continuously and he was controlling and possessive. My ex scares me as he’s done some bad stuff to me since the breakup.. physical and threatening stuff.

 

Is this that bad that I need to resign?

You're honestly asking whether you should stay at a place where someone was physical and threatening to you? I guess you can claim sexual harassment and get your ex fired. That is if that doesn't escalate the violence and abuse.

Thank you all for messaging. I think I will speak to the guy and ask him not to tell anyone and look for another job ASAP. Is this that bad that I need to resign?

I wouldn't say you need to resign I'd say it's probably going to be a better idea to not be a passenger in your own life. Afraid of your ex? Get an order of protection. Own your sexuality, it's nothing to be ashamed of, unless there's a rule against sleeping with coworkers.

Seems the issue is your ex, not your love life. Also seems your fear is part of your cat and mouse game. Let's be real youre posting this in 'relationship conflicts' but you aren't in a relationship. 2+2 isn't equaling 4.

I'm sorry, in this day and age there's just too much information out there to not even begin to deal with exes harassing you. Far too often that negative attention is wanted. It's probably subconscious, but truthfully this is only an issue if you make it one. Your ex has no business knowing your business. Cut all contact.

I'm not going to shame you for sleeping with a coworker, it happens everyday.

Save copies of every text, message, note he has made with threats, and file a report with an a restraining order with the police. You don't need a lawyer, but almost all will do this probono. Do not be afraid to tell human resources. No one wants a hostile work environment, and will make him leave. Even if you do move to another job, he can still threaten you or stalk you.

I know it's scary, so that's why you must get your friend, family, and office to support you.