Lost Identity and Hope

I have been stricken with the loss of my identity. Due to the fact that I have lost basically every meaningful thing in my life; My relationship, my house, my job, my money, my family and friends. I feel all is lost...this life isnt worth it anymore. I cant overcome the tremendous loss(es) I have been dealt with over past 2 years...now it seems i lost my faith and any hope...

What is your story?

Please call the suicide hotline.

People do care about you.

I was at a point in my life where I felt completely hopeless too. I didn't want to talk to anyone and felt like ending it all. I had gone through some pretty extreme events at the time. Please know you are not alone. Many people are going or have gone through what you're describing. You're life is more important than you know right now. This sounds like a rock bottom time in your life which means only good will come your way, as long as you believe it. Hang in there.

I've been exactly in your position. After my relationship ended, we wound up throwing all our furniture and memories away due to a bed bug infestation. I moved to a completely different state to be with family I had not seen in years and felt like a total stranger invading their lives. They couldn't understand why I was so distraught over ending my relationship. They saw ex as the main problem in our relationship when it was both of us. It didn't work out and after 3 months, I moved back to where I came from. I pretty much lost my mind for a good solid year&1/2 trying to figure out where to go next to get ahead and found more problems along the way adding to my depression and anxiety. I literally had nothing that first year. No car, no job, hardly anything to wear, no money, hardly any motivation from being so sad all the time, no friends, I slept on the couch at my mom's house. My best friend and my ex boyfriend wound up moving in together; had a fling and I was seriously hurt by it. I felt like she took his side, saw me as an enemy for awhile, and it took some time to forgive her. She is only true friend I've ever had. I felt so betrayed. I became a total nut case. Suicidal, jealous, angry, full of self pity/hatred. I had rocky encounters with other men. I moved back and forth between my best friends house and family and felt I really had no support from anyone or anywhere to go. It seemed like everything was working against me. I couldn't hold a job. All I could think of were the bad situations I was in that moment. All I had was music to keep me going. I clung onto it because it was the only thing consistent in my life and the only way I felt loved. Even that took it's toll on me. I lost my car for awhile. I got never ending crap from my own mother telling me I wasn't spiteful or vindictive enough to my ex-that I should demand more money from him and he was struggling as much as I was. She called me a total idiot for not asking for child support in the first place. When I finally did, she gave me crap that it wasn't enough money. I got really angry at life and very bitter. I pushed anyone who came near me away. I felt like a total loser and on top of it I didn't feel like myself at all.

You have to fight with all that negative emotion and I understand how hard it is to wake up in the morning bright eyed and bushy-tailed ready to be a go-getter and take on the world when all these things have happened and are happening. I understand how overwhelming it gets when you look at all your problems and see no end in sight or even a solution. The greatest thing about the human spirit is that you are strong enough and this moment/chapter in your life is only temporary. It will get better if you put in the effort and work towards making it better. Nobody else will solve your problems. It's not that they don't want to, it is that they can't. They don't see what's going on in your mind only you can. It's not a thing that happens over night. It might not happen in a year. You will still have bad days or set backs when you'll still feel the way you do now, each day is a new day to make it better. So don't sweat the small stuff-- beat that stuff to overcome the bigger things. You're gonna be okay, if you strive everyday to be, instead of dwelling on the things that aren't happening fast enough. The opposite of life is just as unknown as your future is, so you might as well make the best of the cards you've been dealt. I'm sorry for the trouble you're going through.