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Caught my girlfriend in a big lie.


BobStorr

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So here is the situation. My girlfriend 23 still lives at home, and frequently asks me to do favors for her cousin whose between jobs, such as buying food, giving him rides, parts for his car etc. They shared the bedroom and bed in a small house for the first 3 months of our relationship but they've been sleeping apart since the family moved to a new house back in May.

 

I just found out that he's not actually her cousin, he's her ex boyfriend apparently. I confronted her about it and she confessed that she was scared to tell me because other guys turned her down for dates because of the living situation.

 

I don't know that I really believe her, she's been lying to me for our entire relationship about this. I'm not sure how to move forward here.

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Geez wonder why the other guys turned her down? Don't be fooled again. Dump her asap. No expatiation no contact, delete and block. You don't have to put up with this garbage. No less being tricked into supporting this bozo she sleeping with.

he's her ex boyfriend apparently. I confronted her about it and she confessed that she was scared to tell me because other guys turned her down for dates because of the living situation.
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Oh my goodness. Yes, please walk away.

 

BTW, i have to ask you - how did YOU accept the idea that if he WAS a cousin how she and her MALE cousin were sharing a bed anyways. Unless they were in extreme poverty and the whole family shared a mattress together - no family would have that arrangement. He would be on the sofa, the parents would have bought bunk beds at the very least if that was the only option. or someone would have been on the air mattress.

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They are quite poor, and she has issues with anxiety and panic attacks. That was the justification anyway.

 

Anxiety issues don't cause people to lie.

 

Are you sure that he knew you were dating and he didn't think that you were just a friend? And that they actually are together? Even if they were quite poor -- he has parents or family he can probably move in with or being an adult male now, could get a job, or if he had a job, could move in with 1-3 other young men as roommates and not be in bed with his ex.

 

It sounds like she should not focus on finding a man and as a young woman of working age, needs to stop sponging off her "quite poor" parents and make her own way.

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They don't seem to be together now, they didn't seem to be together then either though. Itshe didn't ask me to get him something that often, so I didn't think that much of it.

 

I suppose I've been lonely for so long that when I got together with her I didn't want to question it.

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I know someone who pulled something similar.

 

She had a boyfriend and was dating another guy, a guy with money. She told the guy with money that the boyfriend was her cousin. When I asked her why she continued doing this, she told me "Well, he buys me things. I know it's not nice but I'm not going to stop". The poor guy was a friend of mine and I felt so bad for him when he confessed to me that he loved her and wanted to "protect" her. I told her she should be honest with him, but she didn't want to stop receiving the Coach handbags and expensive jewelry. He eventually found out the "cousin" was in fact her boyfriend and dumped her.

 

Interestingly, she did the same thing to another guy. This other guy was in love with her but they couldn't be together because he was 24 and she was only 15. So, they agreed to wait until she was 18. In the meantime she dated other guys, even moved in with one of them, and told the guy "This is just the way things are right now". She would tell him she was broke and hadn't eaten in two days, so he'd drive out to give her money. One time he gave her $500 and she used that money to buy her live-in boyfriend a gaming system.

 

So, these girls do this as a habit. They find guys with low self-esteem who are willing to try to buy love and use them for money.

 

This girl does not love or respect you. She's sleeping with her ex who she manipulated you into giving money to!

 

Please drop her like right now.

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They don't seem to be together now, they didn't seem to be together then either though. Itshe didn't ask me to get him something that often, so I didn't think that much of it.

 

I suppose I've been lonely for so long that when I got together with her I didn't want to question it.

 

Ouch. And you’re still trying to justify it. You’re being taken for a fool. Find your worth and please leave her behind. You’re better than this

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^ Don't do it, she probably has something, ew.

 

Way to go to add insult to injury, by her making you buy things for her ex(?) boyfriend. Did you ever meet her parents and friends? If not at least her parents who lived with her, I would definitely question if he was really an ex. I can't fathom how you two can come back from this.

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So here is the situation. My girlfriend 23 still lives at home, and frequently asks me to do favors for her cousin whose between jobs, such as buying food, giving him rides, parts for his car etc. They shared the bedroom and bed in a small house for the first 3 months of our relationship but they've been sleeping apart since the family moved to a new house back in May.

 

I just found out that he's not actually her cousin, he's her ex boyfriend apparently. I confronted her about it and she confessed that she was scared to tell me because other guys turned her down for dates because of the living situation.

 

I don't know that I really believe her, she's been lying to me for our entire relationship about this. I'm not sure how to move forward here.

 

That's terrible. That lie nullifies your entire relationship, as far as I'm concerned. It's enormous. You can't trust this woman, ever.

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Is there anyway to use her body but dont give her anything in return????

 

 

Haha sorry I just feel like he should atleast be able to get off a few times by her for wasting his time.

 

Rather than stoop to her level, I'd hold my head high, walk away and place a higher price tag on myself.

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Is there anyway to use her body but dont give her anything in return????

 

 

Haha sorry I just feel like he should atleast be able to get off a few times by her for wasting his time.

 

You don't think it would bother him going there when he knows her "ex" is also going there?

 

Ick.

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