Just checking in and an update

I spent a lot of time here a few weeks ago going through the pain of a breakup.

I had panic attacks, couldn't sleep, couldn't get the bad feelings out of my head. Wasn't suicidal but had a few suicidal thoughts.

To cope I worked out, listen to meditation tapes, dove into my work and hobbies and went on a few random dates. I also went on lexapro.

My ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 3 months ago (I probably deserved it) and quickly started dating another guy (she already had him on the sidelines from some dating app). I did all the things you're not supposed to do, texts at all hours of the day, long emails, and found numerous ways to spend time with her.

I was in agony for about a month and a half.

Time will tell, but I seem to have won her over for now. Last week she broke up with the other guy, invited my daughters and I over for dinner, we ended up spending the night and I haven't left. It's been a week.

Three months apart and we're now back together like it never happened. Our combined 5 kids are back together and also playing like they were never apart.

We're seeing a couples therapist, going on lots of dinner dates, dancing, hiking, kayaking and the sex has been just as good if not better than it ever was in the past. Our biggest issues in the past was arguing about small stuff and letting it ruin the day so we're trying to put that in check.

Again I'm just checking in and hopefully I won't have to visit here in a depressed mood ever again.

Any advice on limiting stupid arguments would be greatly appreciated. I know I can be argumentative, have some social anxiety, I'm selfish and somewhat passive aggressive, I tell white lies as a people pleaser to try to keep the peace. These are my flaws that I'm working on.

Hopefully we will be an example of a relationship that was salvaged and put back together stronger and better than it was before.

Good luck and congrats.

My only advice is to encourage you to both continue with your therapy and take the lessons that you've learned during the breakup by remembering the pain of the breakup and hopefully that will make you think twice about losing your temper.

Man, I guess you're happy which is good, but don't pretend the breakup didn't happen. It happened and it has changed your relationship for good. How people can just forget about the excrutiating pain their ex put them through and go back is beyond me. I understand you had a lot of flaws that lead to the breakup, but it sounds like she was cheating on you so she definitely is no angel here. I hope you guys are having a lot of communication about why she made the choices she did, how those choices affected you, and what can be done now to prevent a repeat event in the future. In turn, I hope you're working on what lead her to lose interest in the first place.

Oh, and the whole back and forth you just did couldn't have been healthy for the children involved. Keep that in mind if the situation goes awry again that it's not just about the two of you.

Count to ten before you try to argue during a disagreement. Remember that needing to be "right" or to "win" arguments does not lead to healthy relationships. Sometimes it's OK to admit you're wrong and it's ALWAYS good to say you're sorry if you were in the wrong.

I've found my kids to be much more resilient than myself.

I don't know what goes on at my ex-wives house. I quit paying attention a year after the divorce. She was dating and screwing every guy she met.

I was single for about 4 months and met the woman I've been with for the last three years. We moved in together and did the best we could to blend the families.

We go out as a family at least twice a week, we've been on road trips to Michigan, Florida, PA, NJ, MD, ME, CO... etc together. We've taken our family picture in front of the white house, toured the smithsonian, been to countless zoo's, countless bike, camping, fishing, beach trips, too many restaurants to mention... Movies etc...

Our kids have it pretty good.

I never wanted to be divorced, I think what we've created is as close to having a real family as possible.

We took the last three months off during this break-up, but everything has gone back to being just as good or better than it was before.

For now all is well, we go to our second weekly couples therapy meeting tomorrow afternoon and we've had no big blow-ups in the last week and a half that we've been back together.