Does she really like me, or it is strategically beneficial?

I’m 25 and my ‘style’ in the workplace is being everyone’s friend and having fun/dancing etc. Basically I like to keep the mood bright.

There’s a girl at work aged 21 who is openly flirtatious with me. She likes me ‘style’ and gets involved too. She has asked me on a number of occasions to take my lunch break with her and I’ve agreed a couple times and we make great conversation. I wouldn’t be questioning her intentions in any other circumstance but this one has a backstory which I’ll briefly explain below.

1. She’s one of the newer girls in the workplace, having been employed roughly 8 months. She’s a casual like me and works maybe 1 or 2 shifts a week.

2. She started work at the same time as her brother who has since left.

The reason I think those points may be relevant is that she is still considered new in the workplace as many people are still not so familiar with her just yet. She may feel somewhat isolated and is potentially clinging onto one of the few who has always been outgoingly kind. To add to the feeling of isolation is the fact that her close brother no longer works there.

I’m thinking she may be clinging onto me as a strategic move to ‘save face’ in the workplace by seeming like she gets along with colleagues with more familiarity than what is reality. Maybe she’s simply toying with me... I wouldn’t know how to tell the difference anyway. She started messaging me on Facebook recently and hinted at ‘being together’ and going to the movies on our own. It just feels too good to be true... this has never happened before I would not like to be taken advantage of...

Thanks for the reading this far. What do you think of this scenario? Am I thinking too much or should be cautious in some areas? You can probably tell that I really have no idea how to approach this situation in both thought process and action. I’d like your honest opinions and tips. Thanks!

I suggest not dating co-workers. Most new relationships don't work out, and then you have the awkwardness of seeing the ex at work every day. If you want to risk that, your guesses at her reasoning for wanting to possibly date are ridiculous. A woman is not going to enter into a romantic relationship with a co-worker to put on a false facade of fitting in at the workplace.

Why can't she just be having lunch with a colleague?

So by dating you, a fellow temp, this is somehow going to impress people at work? Boy, your old girlfriend must have really done a number on you. You're paranoid that this girl couldn't possibly like you and is only using you to somehow get ahead at the company? And just last week you were paranoid about an old friend inviting you out to her city and staying at her house with her boyfriend to catch up with each other. You can't accept that she's just being friendly? As HeartGoesOn said to you last week, aren't you just trying to read hidden messages into what people are saying to you? Not everyone has ulterior motives.

Oof, you got some serious paranoia issues, buddy. Try taking this one at face value. You may want to do yourself a favor, though, and not date until you've improved your self-esteem a little. Major insecurity is a huge relationshup killer. There's also a somewhat significant age difference and the fact that she's a co-worker to consider before making any moves.

I actually get what your issue is OP, and I think that's a legit thing to be thinking about. A new environment with strangers can be uncomfortable, and it's easy to gravitate to someone who makes you feel comfortable... for the moment. That's not necessarily a sign of interest. However, the only way to know is to make a move, especially before she gets comfortable with other guys and they beat you to it. Yes, work place romances are real tricky, but it ain't my place to tell you what is right or wrong.

Hmm, yes I tend to overthink situations and I haven't been in a great number of relationships in the past so yes it is hard to believe that this is happening. I agree that the workplace romance aspect is not a good idea. That could get messy. I guess I'll put it on hold until one of us decides to leave the job

How about stop dancing around at work and being the "flirty, fun" one and just doing the best job you can? It may stop confusing other people that you are into them when you are not? I would make sure to include other colleagues in your lunches under the guise of her getting to know other coworkers so nothing can be misinterpreted by anyone.

Is this job part of your future career or is some temporary gig until you find your 'real' job? You said your 25, so you could be in that in-between phase of trying to figure out what you want to do in life. My advice to you is that if this is job is in line with your career goals, then I'd probably stop what you're doing. However, if this is just something to bide your time, I'd try to get with her while the gettings good. You'll regret it otherwise. Trust me.

I'd just trust that she might be into you, enjoy that feeling, and try push away your paranoid thoughts that she might have ulterior motives. Enjoy the moment.