Why does my boyfriend like being pegged more than vaginal

I am a 20 year old female, and he is a 21 year old man.

I like to believe I am very open when it comes to sexuality and any kinks. I took his virginity and he had no prior sexual experience so I felt it was right to allow for him to go explore any sexual desires he thought of. Keep in mind I thought he would go out and have sexual experiences with other girls.

However, he surprised me when he said he explored with men. The first time he did it, he said he didn't really like it. He then did it a second time saying that maybe the first time was just the guy, but he said he also didn't like it the second time. There on we both decided that being with each other was what we wanted. However we came to a rough patch in our relationship and took a short break with In that time I felt I should explore myself as should he too. I was concerned that maybe he was gay and was scared to come out. We got back together, he said he hadn't done anything but later on he then said he did it again with a man during our break and again he didn't like it, agaim. He then said maybe he just liked the feeling of being pegged but not the aspect of the man being in the equation. So I believed him but it still concerns me that it took him three times to verify his feelings toward it all.

I don't mind pegging him but I feel he becomes more excited for that than he does about us doing vaginal. And it just really makes me wondering if maybe he is gay, or maybe even bi? I don't mind if he is but it's something I would like to be aware of Am I rightfully concerned or am I just over thinking the situation?

So you had him sleep around while you were together?

Yes, this was early in our relationship.

Yes, this was early in our relationship.

Do you want to continue an open relationship?

I have no clue what "pegging" is, but I'm not sure if you realize that your health is at risk with this type of arrangement?

Pegging is Anal sex.

Your boyfriend had sex with men three times and claims that he didn't like the "man" in the equation? I find that hard to believe. He tried it once, ok. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for the second time. The third time though? He likes it and he just needs to be honest with you about his sexuality. He was doing this before and after he met you. He likes it. The fact that he lied about it but later admitted to you that he slept with this guy indicates extreme denial and/or deception. He's bisexual. I'd be more concerned about whether this was unprotected sex- and him possibly exposing you to STDS.

As for the pegging, yes, there are women that will have no problem pegging their man if that's what he enjoys. If he can't be honest with you about his sexuality, that's a problem. Are you ok with him running to sleep with men unprotected and hiding it from you when problems arise?

Pegging is Anal sex.

Thank you.

He sounds bi sexual to me.

Sounds like he is indeed gay or bi but in denial about it/not ready to come out. If you indeed don't mind this, then the easiest solution is to proceed as if he is.

Lately I have been playing with the idea that how we use our bodies is or may be different than how we define our sexuality. For example, a man (maybe not this man) might be 100% hetero, but enjoy anal stimulation. Why not? There are nerves there, and some women enjoy it, even though women have an additional, more traditional option. Some gay men enjoy it; some gay men do not. So, for hetero men, perhaps some do, and some don't.

Therefore, the pegging detail alone, to my way of thinking, does not indicate sexual preference one way or another.

With respect to your bf, I feel as if there must be some homosexual attraction in order to get into a pegging situation, and that he didn't like it for other reasons, such as it being a casual hook up.

There's something about your tone that's offputting to me. It's almost as if you are trying to manage this man and his sexuality. Just something about the use of words. 'I took his virginity' ' I thought it best to let him explore with other people' etc. It's very much about you as the active force here.

I think he hasn't quite figured out himself what he is all about. And that's ok. He's young, he's newly sexually active. He may want to explore without having any fixed answers for you.

I think trying to turn this into any kind of serious committed relationship at this point would be somewhat pointless and probably unsatisfying for both of you. He's going to be worried about what you want, and you are going to be bothered thinking he may possibly prefer being with a man.

Yeah, this sounds like the pattern of someone struggling to come out of the closet. You know, 20 years of marriage and then they announce to their wife that they're gay and leaving to live a gay lifestyle. I would caution you to be careful with your emotions. Like itsallgrand pointed out, you made it sound like you gave him permission to explore his sexuality, but I think you just may be clinging to him while he wants to go walk on the wild side. Obviously, since you're writing in, you suspect it too.

I think your boyfriend is confused about his sexuality and having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that he might indeed enjoy sexual activity with men. He's saying he doesn't like it, but the fact that he continues to engage in it says otherwise. There are plenty of ways for a woman to engage in anal play with her male partner too, and that's fine, but it seems he is seeking out men to experiment with. That is telling.

Is he gay? Bisexual? Only he knows that, and however he identifies himself, it does not sound as though he is ready for a monogamous and exclusive relationship at this point.

I believe your bf is having trouble with being open and honest with himself and you and maybe he feels pressure about what his family/friends may think as well.. nothing wrong with who he is as a person and his sexuality.

But you need to get down to the bottom of things with him and be very careful if you all stay together if he is having unprotected sex with numbers of people, not just you but him as well and protect yourself mentally and emotionally... are you ok with him having sex with other people?

After a bunch of times with you and at least three encounters with men you need to accept that he's bi and will want to continue to explore this aspect of himself. That's means you'll never be exclusive and you'll always need protection and std testing as well as being prepared for future announcements that he may mostly prefer men or want to try out other women etc. It's unclear why you believe you need to be his sexual coach as he experiments with his pansexuality.

maybe even bi?

NO straight man would ever consider being with another man, that's first and foremost.

If he has done this three times, he is most definitely gay or at the very least, bi.

He needs to be honest with you. He did this three times, so he definitely likes it. And no not the pegging, he likes penis.

Well, something you should have learned in sex-ed years ago is that the male's prostate is homologous to the Skene's glands in females. Meaning, if you appreciate it when a guy hits your g-spot or happen to know someone who does, it should be pretty easy to relate.

Granted, I'm not bi in any way and thus have never tried it out myself, but I've got common sense enough to understand it'd be well within the realm of possibility that, should someone try both ways, they just might come out with a preference for one over the other regardless of whatever biological hardware their partner may be working with. I think it's safe to say that if he voluntarily had a guy enter his anus on multiple occasions, he's at least a little bit bi. Still, even bisexuals tend to have a higher preference for one sex over the other, even if they're open to the idea of being with someone of the less preferential, so I don't think it's absolutely unfathomable that he didn't "really like them" simply for them being guys but did enough to appreciate the anal stimulation. Regardless, it's kind of a moot point as he's with you and not a guy, or another woman for that matter.

He likes you and he likes getting pounded in the ass. Sounds simple and fair enough to me.

He likes you and he likes getting pounded in the ass. Sounds simple and fair enough to me.

Forgive me:

J.man nailed it.

Oops duplicate

sorry, you did not take his virginity if he slept with a man before you.

I think you need to get a an STD test right away.

maybe he was sexually abused as a child if he prefers women relationship wise but goes to have sex with men despite the fact that he doesn't really enjoy it - maybe he was conditioned that it was "supposed" to feel good because of it. Who knows. But for your own health safety, i would not continue having sex with this man

 

However, he surprised me when he said he explored with men. The first time he did it, he said he didn't really like it. He then did it a second time saying that maybe the first time was just the guy, but he said he also didn't like it the second time.

But in spite of him insisting he didn't like it and didn't like the fact that he was involved with a man in order to do so, he still went out and sought it out the third time.

He is clearly confused. I think part of him likes being with a man, yet he's struggling coming to terms to with sexuality. That's the part that's troubling him.

Don't know if I missed it, but where was it stated the guy is troubled? Sounds like he's pretty candidly told her he likes being pegged but would prefer a woman did it.