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Thread: Losing end

  1. #1
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    Losing end

    It seems to me that as long as I am a guy in the marriage/long term relationship, the guy is always wrong.

    When my wife do something that pissed me off. If I don't tell her off, she will think there is nothing wrong and will continue to do the things that irritate me again.
    If I tell her off. She gets pissed and gives me hell. And still don't register that there is something she did that pissed me off in the first place.
    In any way, I lose in the long run. Of course, this is when I pick my battles. But any battles with a woman who doesn't pick hers, I have already lost the war.

  2. #2
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    Why not discuss things calmly?

  3. #3
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    Because when she hear what she doesn't like to hear is all hell break lose!

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    Your battle/war mentality will lead to divorce.

    If you want a happy marriage, read Gary Smalley's "If only he knew".

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    I'm guessing you're probably a large part of the problem, based on your phrasing "when my wife does something to piss me off..."

    Your wife doesn't live her life with the intention of pissing you off. She's just being herself, and doing things the way she wants to do them. If something she does upsets you, you can nicely let her know. But you seem to be instantly angry as if she did whatever she did to purposefully make you angry. She didn't do it on purpose, so try meeting her with a little love and understanding instead of your bad attitude.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
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    Perhaps this is matter of both of you communicating more effectively and less defensively about what piss you off individually? Maybe it's about how things are phrased, the process rather than the content.

  8. #7
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    How to talk nicely?
    I have been telling her every morning for the last 2 years that I start work at 8 and need to leave the house by 7am
    But still Every morning she set her alarm at 7 and wait up at 730
    For last 2 years, I have been telling her EVERY DAY I need to leave the house by 7. She doesn't listen

    Last night I said I want to wait up early to have breakfast together.
    Today she still set alarm at 7
    While rushing to get out of the house and as I was packing my bag
    She came over put a lunch box on my stuff that I'm packing and walk off
    (Seriously?! Actually she is a person who don't learn. No matter how u tell her
    She does what she wants the way she wants it. My counselor told me she suspect that also)
    So as she stacked on top of my stuff I ask her why she did that and didn't she see that I am packing
    She got piss off and storm out


    Seriously?! Who the one that don't see their own problem?
    Yet the whole world is saying I have to keep giving in to her? Just because I am the guy?

    I have no rights in this marriage. No rights to be angry. No rights to have any feelings. No rights to voice out.
    Because if I voice out, it's world war 3.
    The WOMAN EMOTIONS IS ALWAYS MORE IMPORTANT?!

    To be frank, for someone who is not open to listening, no amount of talking nicely will not work.
    Before our marriage, we went for some marriage seminar course to learn about handling conflicts, disagreements and communication skills. But she doesn't apply. It is like playing soccer but she is immune to the rules and used her hands, or playing basketball ball where she hold the ball and run to the other side of the court.

  9. #8
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    Then you leave her behind. She will learn to be on time.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by wtm78
    How to talk nicely?
    I have been telling her every morning for the last 2 years that I start work at 8 and need to leave the house by 7am
    But still Every morning she set her alarm at 7 and wait up at 730
    For last 2 years, I have been telling her EVERY DAY I need to leave the house by 7. She doesn't listen

    Last night I said I want to wait up early to have breakfast together.
    Today she still set alarm at 7
    While rushing to get out of the house and as I was packing my bag
    She came over put a lunch box on my stuff that I'm packing and walk off
    (Seriously?! Actually she is a person who don't learn. No matter how u tell her
    She does what she wants the way she wants it. My counselor told me she suspect that also)
    So as she stacked on top of my stuff I ask her why she did that and didn't she see that I am packing
    She got piss off and storm out


    Seriously?! Who the one that don't see their own problem?
    Yet the whole world is saying I have to keep giving in to her? Just because I am the guy?

    I have no rights in this marriage. No rights to be angry. No rights to have any feelings. No rights to voice out.
    Because if I voice out, it's world war 3.
    The WOMAN EMOTIONS IS ALWAYS MORE IMPORTANT?!

    To be frank, for someone who is not open to listening, no amount of talking nicely will not work.
    Before our marriage, we went for some marriage seminar course to learn about handling conflicts, disagreements and communication skills. But she doesn't apply. It is like playing soccer but she is immune to the rules and used her hands, or playing basketball ball where she hold the ball and run to the other side of the court.
    Why does she need to be awake when you leave?

  11. #10
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    My husband and I both set our own separate alarms and drive our own vehicles to our places of employment . And everybody worries about their own lunch .

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