No longer chill

I have noticed when I get mad at my fiance now i lash out in rage and always tend to scratch him not knowing how else to show how angry and misunderstood I feel. I used to be nothing like this and im starting to scare myself and feel sooo bad afterward but then i end up doing it again come a fight a few weeks later. He has been somewhat physically violent with me due to his past and how his brain works with having double adhd and bipolar but realizes his faults, and tries to curb it as much as possible. But i have developed these aggressive traits and i need to stop them. Help!!!!!!

Actually, this happens. Someone can pick up someone else's aberrant behavior. In any case, your relationship is now physically abusive, you're copying the abusive, and you've got a terribly toxic relationship. There's probably a lot of emotional abuse going on as well. You've got to get away from your boyfriend. You don't even have to break up, you just have to get as far away as possible from him so you can recover your senses. Sometimes, you just can't help somebody and you have to save yourself. So I will tell you to get out of this relationship immediately. Run to your parents' house or a friend's apartment, somewhere he can't get you and you're protected. Get out now.

Stop making excuses for a toxic, violent, abusive relationship. Just get out.

He has been somewhat physically violent with me due to his past and how his brain works with having double adhd and bipolar

If you find yourself routinely physically assaulting your partner and scratching him, it's time to leave. This is how an animal behaves.

If you really want to attempt to save your relationship, you must go to couples councilling.

Unfortunately, once you turn to physicality to express your feelings, it only escalates from there. You both need to learn communication skills - both speaking and listening as well as other more appropriate ways to deal with your anger.

Left unchecked, it’s only a matter of time before one of you gets seriously hurt (or worse!) or gets a criminal record (someone - not necessarily either of you - will call the cops or someone will get beat up, etc).

Please do not marry this man until this is resolved. This is a very major warning sign for your relationship.

If there is violence, then get out. You should have ended things the first time he was violent with you. The relationship is sick.

You both need individual counseling. Couples counseling will not work until you have your individual selves sorted out.

If you both refuse to get counseling, expect the violence to escalate. You will then have the potential to have complaints brought against you by neighbors and you may be dealing with arrests for domestic violence with jail stays.

The counseling is a way better way to go.

You can either seek help to learn self control while living outside of a jail cell, or you can be forced to adopt self control while living inside of a jail cell.

Those are your options.

Contact one of the domestic violence helplines on the Internet for a referral to someone local to you, and you'll thank yourself later.