Is it too late to get her back?

Follow up to my other thread about my ex of 2 months. Since our breakup we had talked everyday and even went out twice (last month it got frisky). There was one point however where she got extremely upset with me and stopped talking to me for a couple of days and said not to talk to her. Fast forward a couple weeks and she was back to messaging me frequently and even called me two days ago for the first time in a month. However yesterday afternoon and today she has been awfully quiet, and not reached out to me at all. I have found out that she is talking to a guy on tinder. My question is am I too late to try and get her back, and if not what can I do or say to make her realize she made a mistake and want me back?

Please refrain from saying "cut her off she is not worth it". I just want to know how I can get her back if it's not too late.

This is the girl you want back?

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=551467

Yes, it's over. She's been using you as her filler while she dates and sleeps with other guys. This is not the behavior of a girl who cares about you or takes you seriously, which is why she's still looking for a new boyfriend.

There is nothing you can say or do to make someone want you back if they just don't want to come back, OP.

Follow up to my other thread about my ex of 2 months. Since our breakup we had talked everyday and even went out twice (last month it got frisky). There was one point however where she got extremely upset with me and stopped talking to me for a couple of days and said not to talk to her. Fast forward a couple weeks and she was back to messaging me frequently and even called me two days ago for the first time in a month. However yesterday afternoon and today she has been awfully quiet, and not reached out to me at all. I have found out that she is talking to a guy on tinder. My question is am I too late to try and get her back, and if not what can I do or say to make her realize she made a mistake and want me back?

 

Please refrain from saying "cut her off she is not worth it". I just want to know how I can get her back if it's not too late.

Because you answered mine I'm going to give my two pence worth.

I'd personally send her a message telling her how it is and how you feel. Nothing lovey dovey. Obviously mention that you have feelings but don't go all cheesy. Tell her straight and ask her to tell you where you stand. This way your leaving the ball in her court and if she says she cant see a future with you or whatever then it is definitely time to cut your losses.

I wont say 'move on' because everyone says it. They say 'just move on' as if I hadn't thought of it. Like I'm going to turn around and go 'Do you know what mate? Lucky you said that, honestly I had no idea that's all I had to do' Like you can turn your feelings on and off. Idiots.

I'm going to send my ex a message telling her how it is because I'm done feeling like crap and I want closure. The worst thing about all of this is wondering what if and I suppose its the same for you.

This is the girl you want back?

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=551467

 

Yes, it's over. She's been using you as her filler while she dates and sleeps with other guys. This is not the behavior of a girl who cares about you or takes you seriously, which is why she's still looking for a new boyfriend.

 

There is nothing you can say or do to make someone want you back if they just don't want to come back, OP.

Damn what your'e saying makes so much sense, even though it hurts. Do you think it's worth entering the "friendzone" with her, in order to see her again & maybe hanging out with me will rekindle old feelings. We were very hot for each other the last time I saw her & that was a month after we broke up.

Because you answered mine I'm going to give my two pence worth.

 

I'd personally send her a message telling her how it is and how you feel. Nothing lovey dovey. Obviously mention that you have feelings but don't go all cheesy. Tell her straight and ask her to tell you where you stand. This way your leaving the ball in her court and if she says she cant see a future with you or whatever then it is definitely time to cut your losses.

 

I wont say 'move on' because everyone says it. They say 'just move on' as if I hadn't thought of it. Like I'm going to turn around and go 'Do you know what mate? Lucky you said that, honestly I had no idea that's all I had to do' Like you can turn your feelings on and off. Idiots.

 

I'm going to send my ex a message telling her how it is because I'm done feeling like crap and I want closure. The worst thing about all of this is wondering what if and I suppose its the same for you.

Thank you, I appreciate the reply. The problem however is that she already knows how I feel, and that I still love and care about her. Plus she has said we are not getting back together. (I know end it now). But she changes her mind left and right, that's why I still am holding onto some hope.

Lol. Closure. I’d personally not send her a “how I feel” text message, this is pointless. This whole last ditch effort idea where you pour your heart out to her so she knows how you feel is garbage. She knows. Don’t you think she already knows how you feel given all the failed attempts of begging and pleading. You’re only gonna show her how weak and fearful you are to move on. None of this is attractive.

Ball in her court, haha, the balls always been in her court! You never even had the ball. As a dumpee, it takes a lot of self discipline and courage to even get the ball rolling in your direction. So this whole idea of putting the ball in her court is garbage.

Stop trying to get her back. She isn’t coming back. You shouldn’t want her back. You’re ok. Yes it sucks. Yes it’s not fun. But you need to let it go. Nobody is gonna give advice on how to get a girl back. It’s pointless. Why advise someone on how to get a girl back when they have zero chances of succeeding. It’s rare to advise anyone to try an get a girl back because most of the time it’s pointless and fruitless.

Good Luck,

Red88

Damn what your'e saying makes so much sense, even though it hurts. Do you think it's worth entering the "friendzone" with her, in order to see her again & maybe hanging out with me will rekindle old feelings. We were very hot for each other the last time I saw her & that was a month after we broke up.

Damn what your'e saying makes so much sense, even though it hurts. Do you think it's worth entering the "friendzone" with her, in order to see her again & maybe hanging out with me will rekindle old feelings. We were very hot for each other the last time I saw her & that was a month after we broke up.

No, absolutely not.

No, absolutely not.

I'm afraid I already did. She talks to me about sleeping with other guys and going on dates.

I'm afraid I already did. She talks to me about sleeping with other guys and going on dates.

not too late to shut it down.

Why did it go this far to begin with?

not too late to shut it down.

Why did it go this far to begin with?

I still love & care about her & was afraid to lose her from my life. After a month of talking since our breakup, I saw her twice, hooking up once. The past month has been general chat but since we had an argument because she was trying to get with a guy, then after that she has told me plans she has with other guys too.

I still love & care about her & was afraid to lose her from my life. After a month of talking since our breakup, I saw her twice, hooking up once. The past month has been general chat but since we had an argument because she was trying to get with a guy, then after that she has told me plans she has with other guys too.

Are you going to continue this friendship?

Follow up to my other thread about my ex of 2 months. Since our breakup we had talked everyday and even went out twice (last month it got frisky). There was one point however where she got extremely upset with me and stopped talking to me for a couple of days and said not to talk to her. Fast forward a couple weeks and she was back to messaging me frequently and even called me two days ago for the first time in a month. However yesterday afternoon and today she has been awfully quiet, and not reached out to me at all. I have found out that she is talking to a guy on tinder. My question is am I too late to try and get her back, and if not what can I do or say to make her realize she made a mistake and want me back?

 

Please refrain from saying "cut her off she is not worth it". I just want to know how I can get her back if it's not too late.

The absolute best thing you can do it continue on with your life, go out and have an amazing time, meet new people (women), party it up (within reason) and MAKE SURE YOU POST IT ON Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, whatever it is that she can see you on. Don't comment/like any of her pics or anything, just move forward. Once she sees you're moving on, if she has ANY real feelings for you, it will wake her up. In the meantime, you are out living it up and meeting new people. It's a win/win! Then she will have to work to get you back, and either she will or she won't. But the thing is, she will appreciate it more if she has work for it.

My 2 cents!

The absolute best thing you can do it continue on with your life, go out and have an amazing time, meet new people (women), party it up (within reason) and MAKE SURE YOU POST IT ON Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, whatever it is that she can see you on. Don't comment/like any of her pics or anything, just move forward. Once she sees you're moving on, if she has ANY real feelings for you, it will wake her up. In the meantime, you are out living it up and meeting new people. It's a win/win! Then she will have to work to get you back, and either she will or she won't. But the thing is, she will appreciate it more if she has work for it.

 

My 2 cents!

no , no

horrible advise and childs play!

Have some pride, be mature and remove yourself from the game.

The absolute best thing you can do it continue on with your life, go out and have an amazing time, meet new people (women), party it up (within reason) and MAKE SURE YOU POST IT ON Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, whatever it is that she can see you on. Don't comment/like any of her pics or anything, just move forward. Once she sees you're moving on, if she has ANY real feelings for you, it will wake her up. In the meantime, you are out living it up and meeting new people. It's a win/win! Then she will have to work to get you back, and either she will or she won't. But the thing is, she will appreciate it more if she has work for it.

 

My 2 cents!

Please...like anyone halfway intelligent wouldn’t see through that childish ploy to try to make an ex jealous. She is dating, not pining over the ex. No lame social media posts will change that.

OP, to answer your question. ..it was "too late" a long while ago. I'm sure there are other cute girls who would love to date you.

Every day you wait for someone to "choose" you, they are actually making an active decision to not choose you. She may act indecisively at times, but she actually already made the choice against what you want a long time ago and you refused to accept it. Every day you stick along and try to get her to change her mind you communicate that you don't love yourself enough to walk away when someone who has essentially communicated through breaking up with you that you are not their priority.

It will be difficult and I know you probably feel like you've gone far enough at this point that it would be a waste to give up, but the truth is you're better off cutting your losses right now. Eventually she will find someone else and when she jumps into a new relationship while you are still talking to her an pleading for the relationship, it will be a hundred times more devastating.

Make the tough call. Decide to be done and let go. She had plenty of chances. Now it's time to choose you.

Are you going to continue this friendship?

I mean I really love talking to her, even if it's just stupid talk. But selfishly, I know I want more than just general friends who talk from time to time. I don't have to have her as a girlfriend per say, but I would want her to at least be a friend with benefits (not just sex) like cuddling, kissing etc. I think before the argument, she was fine with that as we already did it once, but after that it seems she pulled away. I know however, if she gets into a serious relationship, I can't still talk to her.

Are you going to continue this friendship?

And the reason why I'm holding out hope for at least a FWB type deal is that she never lets guys from her past go. The guy she is talking to now is someone she hooked up with a year ago, so with her comfortableness and familiarity with me, I feel like she could eventually be open to the idea. If it ever got to that level I think a relationship could be on the horizon given enough time to forgive and forget.

The absolute best thing you can do it continue on with your life, go out and have an amazing time, meet new people (women), party it up (within reason) and MAKE SURE YOU POST IT ON Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, whatever it is that she can see you on. Don't comment/like any of her pics or anything, just move forward. Once she sees you're moving on, if she has ANY real feelings for you, it will wake her up. In the meantime, you are out living it up and meeting new people. It's a win/win! Then she will have to work to get you back, and either she will or she won't. But the thing is, she will appreciate it more if she has work for it.

 

My 2 cents!

I get what you're saying, but she knows I have no friends so anything like you mentioned she would sniff out as BS right away.

Why do you have no friends? Did you give them all up to focus on her?

no , no

horrible advise and childs play!

Have some pride, be mature and remove yourself from the game.

Hmmm...whatever, he can choose to sit at home and hope, or get out there and live his life and post it for everyone, including her, to see. If she comes back, great, if not, at least he wasn't sitting on his butt at home waiting on her.

Please...like anyone halfway intelligent wouldn’t see through that childish ploy to try to make an ex jealous. She is dating, not pining over the ex. No lame social media posts will change that.

 

OP, to answer your question. ..it was "too late" a long while ago. I'm sure there are other cute girls who would love to date you.

You guys don't completely understand what I said. I said that he needs to get out there and live his life, and not sit around and wait on her. If she really wants to be with him, she will wake up. If she doesn't, he isn't sitting at home dwelling on her. He might meet someone new and completely be over her in a few days.

OP I understand where you are at, and they just want you to "move on", which isn't ever easy to do. I've been in your shoes and I did exactly what I'm telling you to do....my ex CAME BACK and at that point I had already moved on to someone else. He regretted it, but I never went back to him.

Good luck!

The absolute best thing you can do it continue on with your life, go out and have an amazing time, meet new people (women), party it up (within reason) and MAKE SURE YOU POST IT ON Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, whatever it is that she can see you on. Don't comment/like any of her pics or anything, just move forward. Once she sees you're moving on, if she has ANY real feelings for you, it will wake her up. In the meantime, you are out living it up and meeting new people. It's a win/win! Then she will have to work to get you back, and either she will or she won't. But the thing is, she will appreciate it more if she has work for it.

 

My 2 cents!

OP, please do not follow this advice.

It is transparent, childish and will more than likely not have the effect you're hoping for. Leave these games to the highschool kids.

The absolute best thing you can do it continue on with your life, go out and have an amazing time, meet new people (women), party it up (within reason) and MAKE SURE YOU POST IT ON Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, whatever it is that she can see you on. Don't comment/like any of her pics or anything, just move forward. Once she sees you're moving on, if she has ANY real feelings for you, it will wake her up. In the meantime, you are out living it up and meeting new people. It's a win/win! Then she will have to work to get you back, and either she will or she won't. But the thing is, she will appreciate it more if she has work for it.

 

My 2 cents!

This sounds like something kids do in high school - childish and immature game playing. OP, ...really bad idea, imo.

Why do you have no friends? Did you give them all up to focus on her?

No, I'm just a fairly ani-social person, thus the reason why losing her has been so difficult.