Need opinions

I have been dating my boyfriend for about two years we are both 23 and a couple months back I found out he was trying to create a dating profile and began trying message/sext with a girl and she ended up sending me screenshots and I forgave him, than a couple months after received a message from another girl and he had been messaging her since the beginning of our relationship and they would exchange nudes and videos , than when I brought it up he revealed it was not two but 7+ women he was actually messaging throughout the duration of our relationship, now I don’t trust him and I’m planning on moving away and contemplating if it’s worth trying to make long distance work or just breaking up before leaving , I love him but don’t want to live on constant anxiety wondering if he is up to it again, I do not trust or believe him, he doesn’t save anyone’s phone number and refuses to allow me even look at his phone or apps. Please help

I think you know what you should do. This guy isn't serious if he's texting 7 other women. Time for you to take advantage of your move and move on without him.

He is a cheater. You know it. Whatever you decide from now on is an informed CHOICE. Unless you are ok being cheated on, you should break up with him. If you continue being with him, you are responsible for the consequences e.g. more heartbreak, stds etc

He will continue to cheat, there is no doubt about it.

If you want to be with a guy who is loyal only to you, you will need to find another guy.

He's a cheater and you know it. You dont love him, you love who you think he could be if he was a decent person. But he's not. He's a cheater. Pack your stuff and move. Find a decent guy in your new area.

Hello Amy,

I write to you because I am also going through the same situation but with a partner of 4 years. He has been caught 3 times now. The first time was a very serious incident when I was in hospital after loosing a baby and he turned to sexting, The 2nd time was "just a friend" which for the life of me I believed but it still stunk as he lied to me about it (maybe to protect my feelings) The third time and most recent I had took a step back from our relationship as I thought after 4 years it was really time we started moving things forward like trying for another baby, getting married and buying a house. I also asked him to tell me the reason he keeps continuing to lie to me which he couldn't so I suppose I pushed him away further. but I find that sometimes you have to put some things to the test.

Anyway stupidly he left his whole phone history linked to my laptop and I found he has joined several dating sites and since having it out with him again he admits to talking to several women because I wasn't showing him enough love, I had pushed him away.

Anyway, of course for me everything is out of the window because thats the last thing I would turn to if the shoe had been on the other foot. He is beside himself and wants me to forgive him yet again and that he will be a changed man.

For me personally I just cant do it. The only salvage now for me is that he get professional help as there obviously something going on but of course he refuses.

I am 35, far from old but certainly getting on. You are a spring chicken and have your whole life ahead of you.

I have come to realize tat these type of men just do not respect you no matter how much they say they love you. How can we spend our lives under suspicion. My BF has said he will open everything to me, no pins, no passwords no nothing but I dont want to be the type of man capable of doing these things.

Please feel free to Private message me.

Take care love x

If he fools you once, shame on him. If he fools you 7+ times, that's on you.

Thank you for replying it means the world to me knowing there’s another person going through this while unfortunate but whats the next step? I’ve made him delete all social media, and still wonder if that’s even worth it, lately I just can’t bring myself to feel anything for him

What is so awesome about him that you stay with him despite the constant cheating? And something better than "but I LOVE him!!!", please.

That’s what I’ve asked myself many times but it’s not just love , the bond he and I have is very strong and has helped me through my issues when it does come to my anxiety and has managed to be my rock a whole lot, and along with the fact that my family is very attached to him and vise-versa, which I guess is keeping me put

His cheating on you will not help your anxiety. In fact, he is the major source of it.

Becoming his mom/cop will not stop him from wanting to cheat. He'll find other ways.

It sounds like you know what to do, but just need some encouragement and support around you to do it. It would be difficult to connect deeply and give your heart to someone that you do not trust. The dynamics of the relationship that you have right now will likely be what you will always have. In other words, what you see is what you get. I pray the you will have the courage to step away and the faith to believe that there is someone or something better for you. The book, Boundaries in Dating, may be a helpful resource.