I like a girl at my gym...

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this, I know it's too long with a lot of rambling

I go to the gym to workout and that's pretty much it. I don't look at the gym as a place to get dates. I don't look at the gym as a place not to meet someone you were fated to meet. If you feel attraction and they feel attraction, well there you go.

I keep to myself when working out. I don't go around the gym or anywhere, hitting on women. It's just not how I work, the idea of approaching a girl that hasn't made it fairly clear that she is attracted is not something I would do, ESPECIALLY at the gym. I have dated women I met at the gym before and it was a simple matter because they made it pretty obvious they were attracted. I am not a "player" this is not something I commonly do at all.

There's lots of good looking girls at my gym and I'm not a bad looking guy, besides being in very good shape. I know women check me out and that's it for my humble brag. OK, just saying women usually notice me in a positive way. Even if they don't flirt, make eye contact or smiles, they look. Always. Outright or on the sly. Except her. Well, probably a bunch of other women too, but I don't notice them not noticing.

At first, she didn't seem to notice me at all. She'll be walking down the isle where I am working out and her eyes are locked straight ahead. That is not what attracted me to her, I'm not into self-torture. Besides being very pretty and in great shape, she's also quiet with...serious intensity. Very focused on her workout. I'm a pretty serious person myself, probably too serious looking sometimes. So ya, I'm attracted to her and set out to try to get something going even though she has given me ZERO to go on. All I did really was make it obvious I was looking at her to see how she responds and it's like she's a robot. Eyes and head completely locked forward, zero acknowledgement in any way to my obvious looking at her face. I also tried to be around where she was. Till it occurred to me that I was basically stalking her. And, she is purposely not looking at me and seemingly avoids being around me. So I dropped it and avoided being anywhere around her. I know she likes working out and I don't want for her to feel uncomfortable doing whatever she wants to do there.

Then maybe a month later, she was seemingly everywhere I was, but one space over. Our gym is huge, with lots of different options for doing any muscle group in multiple areas. And it seemed like everywhere I went, 7 out of 10 times, she'd be there eventually. But she still would not look at me...at all. Eyes, head always straight ahead. Totally not even acknowledging I am there. So, I don't know and decide to just workout and was glad at least she isn't thinking I'm some kinda perv and is fine with working out around me.

Then some days later, I come out of the men's locker room and bump right into her. She has a deer in the headlight expression and no doubt I did too. Then she breaks out with a huge smile, quickly covers it with her hand while looking down at the ground and before my brain even started working again for it to occur to me to say something...anything, she ran away. Not walk quickly away, she literally ran away.

I want to think she is super shy, but have seen her around other guys and she is not shy. I'm probably not going to do anything with this, it's just really bugging me.

If you ever see her Outside of the gym, strike up a conversation. Picking up girls at a gym can seem creepy to them.

If you ever see her Outside of the gym, strike up a conversation. Picking up girls at a gym can seem creepy to them.

Yes, indeed.

The gym is the worst place to ask someone out. You’re sweaty, smelly, and people just go as an errand... get their work out in and leave.

You are better off interacting with people in a fitness class than on the gym floor. I agree with Wiseman about striking the conversation outside the gym.

If you ever see her Outside of the gym, strike up a conversation. Picking up girls at a gym can seem creepy to them.

probably not likely going to see her outside the gym, though agree on the creepiness level trying to pick up girls at the gym.

I would ease in slowly. Like literally crawl into her. This is if you want to go with this and trying to pick her up. I agree that females wouldn't want to be hit on at the gym trying to do their everyday routine. So I would take it incredibly slow. How to do it? I have no freaking idea. I probably continue this follow the leader thing a bit, probably be on a hello basis for months then to exchanging names and then back to hello for months and then .... who am i kidding just find someone else hahahaha this would take too long and probably long in the "who the hell is this, i don't know but he can be my friend zone"

I am not shy at all. But there was this one guy who I thought was totally gorgeous, and he wouldn't speak to anyone but his buddy, but would make an effort to say "hello" to me, and I was like a deer in headlights too, and barely could say "hello" back.

Next time, work out on a machine next to hers, and then chat about how nice it is outside, and ask if she's been liking this gym, and why you like it.

I would ease in slowly. Like literally crawl into her.

What is this?! This alone sounds creepy as hell.

What is this?! This alone sounds creepy as hell.

Lol! Like a Caterpillar.......

Is there a water cooler? It's a non-creepy place to chat with other gym members whilst refilling one's bottle. Alternatively, I've seen others ask how long someone needs a particular machine for. Generic stuff like that. Eventually their interactions increased.

If you ever see her Outside of the gym, strike up a conversation. Picking up girls at a gym can seem creepy to them.

Yes, indeed.

The gym is the worst place to ask someone out. You’re sweaty, smelly, and people just go as an errand... get their work out in and leave.

 

You are better off interacting with people in a fitness class than on the gym floor. I agree with Wiseman about striking the conversation outside the gym.

Picking up girls that don't want you is creepy to them. Period.

It doesn't matter where. Although bars and clubs are more acceptable, because they may be intoxicated and likely will never see you again.

I'm not talking about that. I'm not at the gym hitting on women. I'm not trying to "pick up" this girl I am talking about.

Every relationship, every date I have had, was because I went up to a girl that flirted with me or showed obvious interest in me. Or in some cases, they came up to me. How does a location matter when a girl has displayed obvious interest in you and you are interested in her?

The only problem is, she has not displayed any interest in me

And I agree, anything outside of a bar where we are all drunk, Online Dating or Tinder or a social circle where you already know her, is not the place to pick up on women. So ya, pretty much anywhere. Don't do it. It's creepy.

And she looks at me now, but I think it's because I keep looking at her. I'm gonna stop. I'm not there to creep anyone out. I already feel weird all the time as it is.

Picking up girls that don't want you is creepy to them. Period.

Getting ogled when you just want to work out is also creepy. Whether I want them or not is completely irrelevant. I don't even know them. At one point I seriously considered getting a shirt that said, "I'm not friendly."

And she looks at me now, but I think it's because I keep looking at her.

Not to be a downer, but it really could be that. (Is that guy looking at me again--sh*t!!)

People look at me in the gym, I am not that worried about it. Not ogling any girl, think you misunderstand. Eye contact, smile. Gotta start somewhere. If there is no reciprocation, then there isn't and that's it. Goes no further. Which is the case here, done.

I didn't say that you were ogling her. I just agreed with your statement that she might be looking at you because you keep looking at her.

I hope you realize that even though you don't think you're ogling, she can still interpret your looks as ogling.

I agree that females wouldn't want to be hit on at the gym trying to do their everyday routine.

Another thing I picked up, and it's a pet peeve of mine is being called "female." Call them women or ladies... "Female" can sound very degrading.

I saw her a couple times before at the food court of our gym with some guy. I just assumed he was a friend or acquaintance, but I guess that's her boyfriend and I was just interpreting it how I wanted it to be. Now if I see her looking at me, she has a ......sad expression. Oh well, on the plus side my workouts are going great and I feel very motivated!

I saw her a couple times before at the food court of our gym with some guy. I just assumed he was a friend or acquaintance, but I guess that's her boyfriend and I was just interpreting it how I wanted it to be. Now if I see her looking at me, she has a ......sad expression. Oh well, on the plus side my workouts are going great and I feel very motivated!

Great you are looking at it positively! Keep up the good workouts (I'm throwing myself into it too!)

I'm trying to figure out what the point of this thread is. OP checks out a girl at the gym who doesn't seem to acknowledge his presence. Then one day she bumps into him near the locker room and she gets all deer-in-the-headlights. Ok? Look man, whether she's shown interest or not, if you're interested in her, just go an talk to her. You don't have to profess your undying obsession over her, but just strike up a casual conversation. It should be pretty obvious whether or not it's worth continuing. Beats eye-stalking her while she's trying to get her gains.

If she likes you it will affect her if you stop looking at her, and then she'll be looking at you - so by stopping you will find out if she likes you or not. The fact that she still attends the gym probably means that she isn't affected by your staring at her, and she might even be getting a buzz from it. So stop it, and let her do the work - she'll either be looking in your direction trying to get a response from you, or she'll just forget about you.

The fact that she still attends the gym probably means that she isn't affected by your staring at her, and she might even be getting a buzz from it.

This made me LOL. If he hasn't quite scared her out of the gym yet, things are going well? Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Just bite the bullet, be as polite as you can and mention that you've seen her about and get talking. It can be creepy as the other commenters have said but the only way to stop the creepy escalating to months and months of staring (which is worse) is just to come out an chat to her. My best friend actually met her current boyfriend in a gym and he came over to her and just started talking to her. On the other hand, I was recently asked out my someone who would not take no for an answer and is clearly interested in me when I'm not at all interested in him. it's creepy, sure, but it's also a fact of life. Respect her enough to accept her answer if she says no and leave it at that. What is gar worse is when someone says no and the other person does not get the message. Asking once, I think most people would be understanding and probably a bit flattered. Asking two or three or five times? That's creepy. Go and ask if only to put yourself out of your own confusion and wondering. At worst she's going to say no, but hey, who knows!? you might make a friend or you might get a date. But it all starts with just striking up a conversation and respecting what she says. I think everyone wants that.

Quit staring back at her when you're lifting and finish the set!

One of the great things about the gym is that there's no shortage of people who have no idea what they're doing or "create their own exercises" when they clearly have no clue.

I've met girls there in a situation where we'll be lifting near each other and some clown starts doing something weird that he invented or starts grunting like he's passing a kidney stone because he is doing too much weight on an exercise (typically standing cheat curls) while using terrible form. After the show is over, I've looked at girl in the mirror and said something like, "I was wondering what his next act was going to be..." or "That was impressive...whatever it was.."

It may sound cheesy but I've used that as an opener and it has led to conversations before. If they don't giggle or engage in conversation, let them go and get ready for the next exercise or set.

What's funny about this thread was that the other night, I was on a Roman chair doing hammer curls or something and there was a cute girl (not my age bracket or demographic) next to me doing something while watching her form in the mirror. Some young guy came up and the following conversation went down:

Young guy: "Hey how you doin' girl? I saw you and I thought I'd come over and introduce myself, I'm (whatever)"

Girl: "Hi"

Young guy: "Well I was wondering where you live so I could take you out to dinner or to a club or something" (I'm starting to roll my eyes and smirk)

Girl: "I don't live around here and I have a boyfriend." (Continues her set. Discontinues eye contact including in the mirror)

Young guy: "Oh, I have a girlfriend, too. I was just thinking we could just hang out or something"

Girl: "Thanks but I don't think so..."

Young guy: "That's cool. Here's my business card. I have a mobile car wash business and I'm always all over the city, but I'm trying to get into producing jams..." or something to the effect.

Girl: "That's nice but I'm going to finish my workout."

Young guy walks off with the "I just got humiliated but I've still got to look like a player" swagger.

I ask her why she didn't go for that. We had a good laugh together and now say hello in passing in the gym regularly. I teased her the next night asking if she now had a shiny car and a new album dropping soon.

I'm just sharing this because I've seen this scenario a few times over the years. I'm not saying that the OP doesn't have a stronger game or whatever, but I would wait for a situation where you can start an easy conversation where you think she might laugh and sometimes the gym might not be that place. Definitely don't corner her in the parking lot to avoid maximum creep factor. I've seen this happen too.

I ask her why she didn't go for that. We had a good laugh together and now say hello in passing in the gym regularly. I teased her the next night asking if she now had a shiny car and a new album dropping soon.

That is the sort of light, friendly interaction which I would actually appreciate. Being spoken to like a I'm human being and not targeted as some dude's next conquest/trophy/girlfriend.

That is the sort of light, friendly interaction which I would actually appreciate. Being spoken to like a I'm human being and not targeted as some dude's next conquest/trophy/girlfriend.

Believe it or not, last night, a friend of mine (who has no idea how to approach women) was talking to me in the gym and (ala this thread) pointed out a cute girl that he revealed that he hasn't had the courage to talk to. He said he was thinking of catching as she was leaving and introducing himself. His plan was to wait until she came out of the locker room where he would be waiting strategically.

I told him that he should first introduce himself to the gym's management so they could expedite his membership cancellation upon her reporting how he sprung this trap of a plan on her outside the ladies locker room. I also told him to not catch her coming to or from her car in order to avoid being arrested or on a police watch list.

What was really funny is that he thought that I was just being a jerk by telling him that his plan was not a good idea. He was definitely crestfallen but I told him that there are these things called "dating sites" where he can advertise his availability through the power of the internet, creative writing and photoshop and that women can actually indicate clearly that they are either interested in how he presents himself or would pass. While he was dismissive, I asked if he had a dating profile. The answer was a long explanation/rationalization that summed up to "no".

That story aside, I hope the OP has a run-in with this girl and things unfold through natural chemistry.

Believe it or not, last night, a friend of mine (who has no idea how to approach women) was talking to me in the gym and (ala this thread) pointed out a cute girl that he revealed that he hasn't had the courage to talk to. He said he was thinking of catching as she was leaving and introducing himself. His plan was to wait until she came out of the locker room where he would be waiting strategically.

 

I told him that he should first introduce himself to the gym's management so they could expedite his membership cancellation upon her reporting how he sprung this trap of a plan on her outside the ladies locker room. I also told him to not catch her coming to or from her car in order to avoid being arrested or on a police watch list.

I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

I don't think accidentally bumping into someone on purpose is a bad thing. I DO think it's a bad idea to jump right to an introduction. Think about the long game. I would simply suggest your friend try to simply make eye contact and/or say hello. Much can be learned from this, without making things awkward and creepy. If she walks by without eye contact, or quickly turns her gaze away, your friend has all the information he needs. If he finds she maintains eye contact, try a simple hello, or smile. If she's the least bit interested he'll know. Then he just has to slowly build familiarity and rapport. Strike up a friendly conversation. Get out of the pick-up mindset.

Some places are better than others for meeting a partner. No place however is off limits. People DO meet at the gym. People DO meet at work. People DO meet at bars. I think your approach and mindset if more important than the place.

I don't want to let this go. I had an encounter with her where she was just ridiculously weird. And then regularly she never looks at me, at all.

I thought her being weird was cute as hell. I am not really that socially outgoing myself. Every time I see more of her, I see a lot of me. And I like myself, even though I am probably the most weird person you will ever meet.