A little outside perspective/opinion would be very appreciated.

Hello all,

Can you offer your thoughts on my situation, please?

I've known a guy as a friend for a few years (but only as an online friend) as we lived too far apart. He has always liked me more than that, but I did not feel there was any point moving forward given our circumstances so always kept it as friends. However, I have since moved closer and the dynamic changed and we stepped things up, romantically, much more chats/affectionate flirty texts for a couple of weeks until he asked if we could meet and I finally said I'd like to and spend a couple of days together, and so we booked a trip soon.

Now the guy is texting far less, and though he does respond quite quickly when I contact him, I feel like I'm sitting waiting all day for those exciting usual flirty messages which aren't coming now. (I feel I should mention he often works erratic shift hours.) But I feel suddenly rejected even though he hasnt actually rejected me and it's getting me frustrated and annoyed with him. I did say something like 'oh, I missed a text from you today,' and he said something like.. 'oh dont worry if I go into my own world for a while now and again, it doesnt mean anything.'

When we talked a few days ago he spoke of spending even more time together in person and all the things we can do together when we meet up. So its not as if he isn't into me, because he has said he cares a lot for me, so why the lack of arduant messages? Just being complacent? Am I over-reacting? I want to stop obsessing about this and be as cool about it as he is. Am I being unreasonable? Should I cool off and just see how it goes when we meet up?

Thanks for any feedback you have.

If it helps any I'm a very jealous and passionate scorpio and he is aries sign.

So you have never met him in person?

I ask because it's almost impossible to determine someone's character without spending time together, face-to-face.

Thanks . No because we have been online friends for five years chatting on and off on both webcam and phone/text. I never encouraged more than that because of the distance and he respected it. We also met through mutual interests. The meet-up is planned in a few weeks.

It sounds as though he is interested enough to meet but you shouldn't get your hopes up too high for anything serious. To me it sounds as though he isn't bothered maybe as much as you'd like him to be?

It might be a coffee meet up for him or a fling but he isn't really acting like this is going to turn into a serious romantic relationship so you should probably not expect that.

If it was going to be, he would be acting far more into you than this.

Thanks Sherrysher.. I suspect it could be that or I've just flipped over from being casual to way too emotional and needy about him right now. I need to chill and let it pan out naturally maybe.

Perhaps, but you should also see this meet up as a friend meet up and not put all these high hopes on it otherwise you could be very hurt.

Personally, I would expect a man who had known me for that long and (if he had any romantic feelings), to be acting a lot different. More excited, more in love (if thats the case) more interested and impatient for the days to go past till he could finally see me.

This man seems to be neither here nor there which to me would say that he is not viewing it like you are. He is seeing it as meeting a long time friend. But I'm not sure that he's in love or excited in a romantic way.

The only advice I can give you is to not let yourself get hurt and to expect too much. Focus on the friendship of all of this when meeting and not as a full blown romance.

In person is very different to talking online as well.

You don't really know how it will be in person, you might not get along as well as you do online and you might not even like him romantically as you thought you did online.

Wait and see how it pans out.

Things are quite different in person.

So you have never met him in person?

 

I ask because it's almost impossible to determine someone's character without spending time together, face-to-face.

Totally agree.

What is the distance?

Given that this will be the first meeting, I would go into with the mindset that you are meeting a friend. Don't get your expectations too high before evaluating how well you actually click in real life. Online and offline can be vastly different, so you need to be sure you keep both feet on the ground going into this.