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Thread: Straight guy friendship with a Lesbian girl - girlfriend drama

  1. #1

    Straight guy friendship with a Lesbian girl - girlfriend drama

    I recently met a lifelong lesbian girl (she is not bisexual and totally disinterested in men), and we hit it off immediately. We got along fantastically, finding out we have a lot in common and talking to each other for hours (via messaging).

    This went on for two days, before her girlfriend saw the messages and was uncomfortable with how much we were talking and apparently was disturbed by some of the content of the conversations -- example: she told me her Birthday was in some days which I replied I would get her a gift, and her girlfriend really didn't like that.

    Her girlfriend told her that she must stop talking to me immediately otherwise she would be going, basically.

    While I can understand her girlfriend's perspective, this situation feels rather unfair to me -- both of us have zero romantic interest in each other, and it was a strictly platonic, friendly relationship. I never even considered a possibility that we would go beyond a friendship, because I would never expect that a lesbian would go straight.

    Since last night she's trying to convince her girlfriend to change her mind, because she really enjoys talking to me and we get along so well. The girlfriend sounds very stubborn, so I'm not expecting anything to change.

    Has anyone ever seen a situation like this before? A lesbian getting jealous that her girlfriend is talking too much to a straight man? And then to force her to stop talking to him?

    I am not in a relationship, and do not plan to be. I have absolutely zero interest in being romantic with this girl.

    I'm genuinely upset because I find it really hard to find likeminded people to talk to, with things in common -- and this friendship ended for reasons which are not even real.

    I've been completely cooperative, I apologized to the girlfriend and told her that I would do anything to make her feel comfortable with us talking. Do you think that was the best way to handle the situation?


  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Boston, MA
    Oh, you will find this quite common in a lot of relationships, not just lesbians. Her partner is insecure, jealous, possessive and controlling. She is trying to isolate her from anybody who represents a threat to her getting all of your friend's attention. Her partner wants to be the only source of all of her emotions. So her partner has to isolate her from you and shut you down before a friendship develops. Her relationship may be toxic.

    In any event, your friend needs to stop trying to convince her partner to let her have you as a friend. That will only anger and make her partner even more jealous. If the two of you want to continue to be friends, it has to be offline and in person so there's no trail. Even SnapChat isn't safe because just having SnapChat on her phone will make her partner suspicious that she's talking to you. And of course if she sees her texting, she'll assume she's texting you and cause an argument. Talk in person only.

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