Jump to content

Help?? Am i possibly dating a married man??


Chrys31

Recommended Posts

Yesterday I found out something thats a bit concerning and I want to discuss with him but i dunno how..

 

 

He had asked me.if I had twitter and I said I dont, because I dont have any indeed.

 

Today I found his twitter account, scrolled down there was a photo of his house.

I .zoomed in to see background

On the shelves it looked like not very clear, something like wedding photos of him(??) with a bride next to him

On a piece of paper i saw something like an anniversary announcement, not clear again but two names written clear his name and a female name

The thing is how do i ask him about this

 

That photo was dated March one month before we met

 

We are dating one month and a half and he has mentioned of me going to his house without clear invite...But he insists coming over to mine which he will do on Thu supposedly.

 

Help!

Link to comment
  • Replies 148
  • Created
  • Last Reply

no he told me he is on twitter and he asked me if i had.

 

I dont have so i didnt ask.

 

He doesnt have FB as I dont do.

 

I have done a mini background check myself but couldnt find anything suspicious

 

I need to hire someone to do a full background check

 

I technically snooped to his twitter. The images in the background were not clear, but the names were clear.

 

He also had told me before we met when we were talking about families and stuff that his mother comes over from Cyprus every few months to stay with him.

 

The thing is how do i go about it??

Link to comment

Stop playing childish games and ask him. You are early at your relationship and I understand being afraid to ask, but how else are you going to build trust? Tell him that after asking you about Twitter you made a profile to see what it is about, and you saw what you saw on his profile. Dont come from an accusing place, just ask.

 

Or simply tell him you want to come to his place.

 

It does sound like he might be married, but it can be few other things too... Maybe he was married briefly but got divorced? Maybe you didnt see it right and its a picture of him with a friend or a cousin from her wedding? Until you have the facts dont assume anything. And when you ask you will see by his reaction if he is lying. Ask him about it face to face.

Link to comment

it’s not a bad thing that you looked at his Twitter accounts. It’s not like you were snooping through his phone or anything. Just say “I was looking at your Twitter account I saw the picture of you and some announcement, just let me know if you’re married or not because I’m not really into dating married guys.” Unless you are, then in that case, a conversation is not needed. I’m kidding .

Link to comment

ye i suppose but he ddidnt say what his account was . he asked me if i had twitter to follow me and i said i didnt have and the convo ended there.

 

I found the account by myself and zoomed in the photo to see these things

Link to comment

the thing is, he had mentioned me goign to his house but it was not an invite. more like a future reference.

 

is not it a red flag that he insisted to come to mine???

 

I only saw a female name no last names. I found no woman associated to him online

Link to comment

Sorry but that is ridiculous after dating 45 days. He's not your husband. Just end it since he won't invite you to his place... That alone is sufficient reason. Does this suspicion/detective mindset come from your past? It makes no sense to snoop and obsess this much after a few dates.

I need to hire someone to do a full background check.
Link to comment

If you have to hunt that much, just end it. It seems you are over invested. Did you sleep together before ever getting invited to his place? Wait until you know someone a bit and see what their lives are about before getting this over invested.

 

For example, did you ever have the exclusivity talk? Why is he at your place all the time but never invites you to his? Next time, do not invite guys over to have sex until you've both visited each others homes and know more about each other. It's a lot better than becoming a Fatal Attraction case and talking about PIs after a few dates. Learn to date with smarts and you'll learn to trust yourself.

I found where he lives
Link to comment

"So, are you married?"

"No."

 

Not exactly checkmate. No real point in asking. I'd have simply invited myself to his place. Nothing like "LET ME SEE IT." Simply, "Hey, I'd love to see your place. I could grab a pizza and we could have a date night there some night." It's a bit forward, but it's a natural dating move that serves its own non-cynical purpose. It's nothing that would put a reasonable guy off, and it's better than sitting on your thumbs, going through Instagram photos, or worse, dumping however much money into full background checks or PIs.

 

No, you shouldn't be giving away your trust at the first sight of a handsome face, but you also shouldn't be distrusting them, either. If you're catching yourself out like this, whether it's due to insecurities of your own or legit red flags of his, it's a good sign you should cut your losses sooner than later, not add a monetary figure to them.

Link to comment
"So, are you married?"

"No."

 

Not exactly checkmate. No real point in asking. I'd have simply invited myself to his place. Nothing like "LET ME SEE IT." Simply, "Hey, I'd love to see your place. I could grab a pizza and we could have a date night there some night." It's a bit forward, but it's a natural dating move that serves its own non-cynical purpose. It's nothing that would put a reasonable guy off, and it's better than sitting on your thumbs, going through Instagram photos, or worse, dumping however much money into full background checks or PIs.

 

No, you shouldn't be giving away your trust at the first sight of a handsome face, but you also shouldn't be distrusting them, either. If you're catching yourself out like this, whether it's due to insecurities of your own or legit red flags of his, it's a good sign you should cut your losses sooner than later, not add a monetary figure to them.

 

well we didnt sleep together. but he did insist to come to my place

 

if i see he doesnt invite me i will end it

 

ah no need to, now. i found where he lives

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...