Is my boyfriend gay?

I’ve been dating this guy for 1.5 years. He’s 34 and I’m 26, he’s had several girlfriends in the past that didn’t work out for him which I’ve alwsys wondered why. He’s good looking, has his career set, educated, well spoken, has tons of hobbies and friends. I also liked that he didn’t talk to other women, look at pics or porn. He claimed he rarely masturbated as well and our sex life was great!! The other day, however, I found a large chest full of realistic looking dildos, massively sized and of different colors (bbc included). There were at least 15 of them in this box.. I confronted him about this and he claims he got into anal play with his past girlfriend an ever since then he’s collected more over the course of 15 years, and that’s how he masturbates when he’s single or I’m away for some time. He doesn’t hook up with women he’ll only have sex within a relationship. I even found some fake sperm, which he claims could’ve been from the past gf. He’s really embarrassed by it and doesn’t want anyone to know because he always puts up this image that he’s a very manly guy amongst his friends and family, and said if they found out he’d have to move away. I feel like he’s probably gay because he’s so afraid of his image, or at least bi, because I had no idea about this until I found his stash. I’m not sure if I can be with someone who wasn’t truthful to himself or me about his sexuality and was willing to hide it forever or was going to “get rid of it”. Which makes no sense because it seems like he really enjoys this with the collection he has, he would be repressing himself of his desires. I can’t see him the same way anymore which is what he was afraid of, but I wish he had just been honest from the start. Is he being truthful about just enjoying the prostrate pleasure aspect or is his sexuality questionable? I understand experimenting and having some toys but these toys are extremely realistic and I don’t think a “straight” man would be ok with playing around with them.

Where did you "find" this box? Was this before or after the 3 week "break"?

Where did you "find" this box?

They were blatantly sitting in his closet and I never thought to look until yesterday. He had two chests. One mid size and one large. I thought they were full of shoes and was sorely mistaken. It was after the break that I looked, it’s always been there.

He also had a female sex doll but the phallic objects are what are concerning.

Was the chest open? Or did you actually go through it?

What was decided after the "break" that he asked for?

Was the chest open? Or did you actually go through it?

 

What was decided after the "break" that he asked for?

We decided to continue and go to his cousins wedding the following weekend. I opened the chest to look for shoes he might have for the wedding while he was in the other room and found all this. He said with the limited space he has in his condo he didn’t know where else to put this stuff. Lol.

Well...lots of heterosexual men enjoy anal play. Just like many straight men like nipple play.

Did he actually say he's afraid of what his family and friends would think? In other words, did he say yes, he is gay?

Well...lots of heterosexual men enjoy anal play. Just like many straight men like nipple play.

 

Did he actually say he's afraid of what his family and friends would think? In other words, did he say yes, he is gay?

He never said yes I’m gay but he did admit he’s afraid of what his friends and fam would think of him doing all this. I’m the only person in his life who knows now. I also questioned his sexuality and he said he’s not sure how he would answer that. He claims he doesn’t want to be with men at all and likes women. But I’m not sure if he’s telling the truth or not :(

One would expect the answer to be a yes or a no. Or maybe that he's interested in exploring.

Do you think or fear that you have been his "beard"?

One would expect the answer to be a yes or a no. Or maybe that he's interested in exploring.

 

Do you think or fear that you have been his "beard"?

Yes that’s exactly it. He’s all about his image. I just need to know where he stands sexually, because right now I feel like I’ve been his cover up. He doesn’t like answering my questions regarding it though they’ve been straightforward and reasonable. He says it’s “not as big of a deal as I’m making it out to be” and he’d throw it all away if he felt he needed to. But he likes these dildos in him...that’s his thing. Why do that to yourself just to have some girl ?

So you have a great sex life with him?

So you have a great sex life with him?

Yea everything seems good. It’s the stash that worries me.

If your sex life has been great, then I think you don't have too much to worry about

It real isn't his family and friends business about any of this.

I think if your sex life is good then this is a kink that he has.

I can understand why he doesnt want anyone to know, and I agree that what happens in the bedroom is nobodies business but the people involved.

I suppose you have to decide if you want to stay with him now that you have found this side of him.

My ex also has a collection of dildos. I found out about them because he was having them delivered to his family's business and his brother in law told me that he said I had ordered them (or that they were for me). I had never seen any of them.

His current girlfriend uses a strap-on to have anal sex with him (yes, he is the receiver). I found out this bit of information because they got walked in on one time and his friends blabbed. Unfortunately, his family members saw fit to inform me although it really is none of my business since we were already broken up.

I had suspected he was a closeted gay or bisexual man. He had magazines too (also allegedly mine) and he had some close gay friends who he would spend time with alone. His current girlfriend (the one he dumped me for) has a very boyish figure...no breasts, butt or hips at all and wears a ball cap all the time. In fact, another friend saw them together and thought the girlfriend was his son!

To be honest, it really didn't bother me all that much. I presumed he was attracted to men AND women. I just found it sad that he felt the need to hide who he truly was. He too was ashamed and afraid of what his family and friends would think (although most of them know).

Can you accept this side of your boyfriend? Or is it something you'd break up with him over?

Wait... so do you think that gay men get off to having a penis up their rectum just by virtue of it being an actual dude humping him? Look, I'm not a guy who's got any inkling to go the anal route, but the prostate isn't exactly the world's best kept secret. Yes, closeted gay men have performed for purposes of getting a wife pregnant, but it'd be quite a feat for one to fake his way into a "great sex life." I'm not sure why you'd jump to that conclusion he's full on gay. Seems about as ignorant as a guy not understanding a woman having a double headed vibrator.

I mean, yeah. If you've rather arbitrarily lost respect for him now, I guess your choice is limited. I'd say, in the future, let a guy collect his own shoes rather than digging through his closets and chests. Generally speaking, we're not gonna create secret compartments for our more racey items like the SS is gonna show up for a surprise visit. If it's not yours, don't go through it, particularly if you're sensitive when it comes to more private materials.

It's funny, you're doing exactly what he was afraid of, in other words, telling the world about the 15 dildos in his closet! Luckily, we don't know who you are and who he is. But as you explained in a previous post, you guys have bigger problems than 15 dildos. He hasn't shown a commitment to you. There's an 8-year age gap. You're of different religions. And I don't think he will ever want a family. There's a lot of reasons to move on.

You seem to have a lot of suspicions and very little respect for him. Additionally you are the one hiding things from your strict family you still live with.

He’s also hinted several times that he’s not ready to have kids or take on responsibilities. His flaws would be that he’s egotistical, a terrible listener, prideful, self absorbed, dismissive, can be disrespectful and narcissistic. He’s s very good looking guy, smart, has a lot of hobbies, friends and is well educated.

He never said yes I’m gay but he did admit he’s afraid of what his friends and fam would think of him doing all this. (

This just begs the question - who tells their family members about their sexual preferences? I know I never have.

Sexual preferences are totally separate from sexual orientation. Not sure what he's afraid of or maybe I am reading too much into this comment.

For what ever it's worth, I had an ex who liked the same thing. I can't lie, it did make me question things at times.

We were together for about a year and half before he shared this with me. And then things fell apart.

I don't think it's too uncommon. Nevertheless, the knowledge and the suggestion I entertain it made me uncomfortable.

Sorry, but true.

Wth is fake sperm? From a past gf? What?? Do you mean dried body fluids on the dildos?

 

Not thinking he's gay. Thinking he likes anal play which many men won't admit or explore.

I have seen someone give a stuffed animal that looks like the shape of a sperm with a cute face as a gag gift. I have seen bacteria stuffed animals, tooo. If its a gag gift sort of thing - i wouldn't worry about it. If that is what you mean by fake sperm.

Wth is fake sperm? From a past gf? What?? Do you mean dried body fluids on the dildos?

 

Not thinking he's gay. Thinking he likes anal play which many men won't admit or explore.

It’s legitimate fake semen in a bottle you can fill your toy c*cks with. The bottles were used and the toys had holes and syringes you can fill it up with. I’m pretty sure those are for his pleasure?

Thanks for replying. I was seriously wondering. I thought I'd seen and knew just about all there is, lol.

 

I assume yes, for his pleasure. I still don't think he's gay, idk. Maybe bi? Some men are very uncomfortable to talk about anal play. You have to be comfortable, and I sense your pain from this. I'm sorry. I hope you can resolve this in a way that is okay with you.

Thank you. My guess is bi too, at minimum. Not just a kink. A few toys would justify a kink. A whole trove of c*cks tells me you’re bi and don’t want anyone to know. Not even the woman you are dating.