Kate Spade suicide due to "Relationship Issues"

By now you've all heard that Kate Spade committed suicide.

She hanged herself in her bedroom closet with a scarf, while her husband, comedian David Spade's brother, was in the other room.

She left her 13 year-old daughter a note, telling her it wasn't her fault.

Sources close to Spade say that she committed suicide due to "relationship issues".

So many people struggle in this area, and no one will ever know the truth. She and her husband were in the business together, although they were removed from the Kate Spade label for years.

Perhaps more will unfold, possibly surrounding depression, etc., or marital woes.

In the meantime, I'm shocked and saddened.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5808813/Kate-Spade-dead-Park-Avenue-apartment-apparent-suicide.html

Not condoning the behavior but I certainly understand the 'want' to end the pain and suffering. I often wonder myself how many more days I can live like this.

My heart goes out to her loved ones.

So many people struggle in this area, and no one will ever know the truth. She and her husband were in the business together, although they were removed from the Kate Spade label for years.

They sold their label to raise their daughter. They were not forcefully removed.

Everything right now is under speculation, and we know how MSM likes to twist stories around. Until the investigation is finalized, then we can accurately know the cause- sometimes with a suicide, that it rare because it is based on family request. Let's not be presumptuous and blame it on family/marriage yet.

They sold their label to raise their daughter. They were not forcefully removed.

 

Everything right now is under speculation, and we know how MSM likes to twist stories around. Until the investigation is finalized, then we can accurately know the cause- sometimes with a suicide, that it rare because it is based on family request. Let's not be presumptuous and blame it on family/marriage yet.

I never used the word "forcefully".

I used the word "removed", as in, they were not connected to the brand. They sold the brand many years ago. That is common knowledge. She had even legally changed her last name to Valentine for her new brand.

Please do not distort my words.

This is going to probably be met with a lot of hate but please know I'm just trying to understand the other side of it. Sincerely. If someone is in pain (physically or emotionally) and their tired of fighting....and nothing works, isn't that their choice? It's their life and I think it can be equally as selfish to choose to remain in that pain just so other people don't have to deal with the grief. It's your body and your right, right? Now that being said...DISCLAIMER: I've never had kids so I won't even go into that dynamic or pretend to understand that. I would assume as a parent you have a certain responsibility. I would never debate that. But outside of kids, I'm just curious.

For the record, I'm not suicidal. But I have been in pain for a very long time and have tried everything: Therapy, Meds, Exercise, Reading, etc. etc. So, again, while I don't condone it, I can understand both sides. Sometimes people just get tired of fighting. The pain stays with them all day, everyday...when you're awake and when you're asleep.

If this is too far off from the main topic. I apologize and will delete my post.

This is going to probably be met with a lot of hate but please know I'm just trying to understand the other side of it. Sincerely. If someone is in pain (physically or emotionally) and their tired of fighting....and nothing works, isn't that their choice? It's their life and I think it can be equally as selfish to choose to remain in that pain just so other people don't have to deal with the grief. It's your body and your right, right?

I don't think Snny was debating the right to commit suicide. I think she was just pointing out that it affects other people.

I don't think Snny was debating the right to commit suicide. I think she was just pointing out that it affects other people.

Yeah, fair enough. I wasn't trying to start a debate but moreso understand. The more I think about it, the more I think this should be reserved for another topic. Don't want to take away from the tragic event. Sorry

Yeah, fair enough. I wasn't trying to start a debate but moreso understand. The more I think about it, the more I think this should be reserved for another topic. Don't want to take away from the tragic event. Sorry

What I liked about your earlier post is that you highlight the very real pain and desperation that someone with suicidal thoughts goes through. Mental illness is stigmatized heavily in society and at the very least dismissed, when in reality we need to take it seriously and look to find a cure instead of just throwing medication and advice at it.

At the end of the day, I think we can all recognize that relationship issues don’t drive people to kill themselves... it goes much, much deeper than this.

The thought I keep having is how is it possible her husband was in the house and didn’t realize this was all going down?!

More will be revealed I suppose... such an awful thing all around:(

It's now being reported by her sister that she suffered with mental issues for many years but didn't want to seek treatment as she was afraid it would hurt her brand, and that she became obsessed with Robin Williams' suicide, also by hanging.

Who knows what the truth really is, or if the reports of what her sister is saying are even true.

All just so sad. I feel so bad for her daughter.

Re: Her husband being in the house.....yes that's really odd, and very sad.

Years ago, my very first online date was a guy whose wife committed suicide. Her mother was home, helping her with their then-young 3 kids. There was a lot of noise, the t.v., the kids were building a fort, etc., and her mother thought the gunshots were part of the t.v. show. It wasn't until the wife didn't come out of the bathroom that her mother came in to find her on the floor. He said that to the world, she was the most "perfect, happy, cupcake-baking mom", but that she suffered mental illness and had been on different meds and therapists for it. To leave young kids is just unimaginable.

there are many nights i lay next to my bf and suffer, crying and all and he knows not a thing about it, either they know and don't care, think you just need space, or is just really not aware, i say that just to say that you can suffer right next to ppl and they not know. in my observation ppl really tend to dismiss depression no one cares and it's ashame.

Have you heard of autoerotic asphyxiation? Essentially where someone cuts off oxygen to their brain to achieve sexual pleasure. I often wonder if suicides by hanging were an incident of autoerotic asphyxiation gone awry (I.e., the person tried to choke him or herself, then couldn’t undo the noose in time, before they lost consciousness).

It’s now being reported that her husband asked for a divorce & moved out, which may have been the final straw. He is absolutely not to be blamed, as marriages end all the time.

I so wish she’d have gotten the help she needed. I’m sitting here in a meeting, with my Kate Spade computer bag, wallet, and other assorted Kate goodies, thinking of her and her sadness.

I hope others will learn from her life and seek the help they need.

An autopsy can easily determine that as well as a forensic examination regarding the note and investigation, interviews, scene circumstances, etc. All suicides are investigated as homicides until that is ruled out. Autoerotic asphyxia is considered an accidental death. It's usually clueless parents of teens who sadly believe a death was a suicide, only to become perhaps more shocked at the truth.

I often wonder if suicides by hanging were an incident of autoerotic asphyxiation gone awry

This is just so sad, all the way around.

People do suffer in silence all around us.

This is just so sad, all the way around.

 

People do suffer in silence all around us.

So true. They’re saying that she didn’t want to get help, as it would affect her “happy brand”, ironically.

Again, all of this is heresay, so just like Robin Williams, it will take a while before the truth comes out.

And now Anthony Bourdain at 61 in a hotel room in Paris.

And now Anthony Bourdain at 61 in a hotel room in Paris.

I wonder if there's some sort of fascination with hanging oneself as a method. Robin Williams, Kate Spade, and now Anthony Bourdain....all have used this unfortunate method.

It's painless, easy to do, quiet and requires no pills, guns, jumping off things, etc. So sadly it can be a rash decision with minimal forethought. Very sad indeed.

I wonder if there's some sort of fascination with hanging oneself as a method. Robin Williams, Kate Spade, and now Anthony Bourdain....all have used this unfortunate method.

Listening to Jill Kargman's Sirius radio show this morning, she worked for Kate Spade (not Spade at the time) at Mademoiselle magazine, and they were still friends for 20 years, having just seen each other two weeks ago.

--Jill Kargman has a t.v. show called "Odd Mom Out" on Bravo....hysterical, all about an atypical married mom raising kids on the snooty Upper East Side of Manhattan. In real life, Jill's father was President and CEO of Chanel, so she grew up on UES but always felt like an oddball. Her brother married and later divorced Drew Barrymore, but she and Drew remain close friends. So even though she's a tattooed black-clothing-only Olive Oil lookalike, she's been surrounded by UES'ers her whole life, and she maintained her friendship with Kate Spade.

Like many people who are in a lot of pain, Kate apparently shared very little with friends, as Jill Kargman had no idea. She said they chatted, Kate was her "usual, bubbly self", and she thought nothing unusual.

Just goes to show, someone can know you for 20 years, and still have so much pain hidden.

Very sad. Many have this kind of private hell.

Just goes to show, someone can know you for 20 years, and still have so much pain hidden.