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Thread: Struggling with trust issues

  1. #11
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    Those kind of messages are in no way appropriate. You have every right to not trust him, nor should you. I know you may have deep feelings for them, but they are one sided. You can do and deserve better.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by brooke000
    How do you think I should have handled the situation?
    The first time I would have either ended it or reestablished boundaries with a "next time we are done".

    Then I would end it if it happened again.

    There is nothing you can do to make someone do what you want. You can only control your actions.

    By staying with someone who treats you this way you are telling them it is acceptable behavior.

  3. #13
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    It sounds more like this relationship meant more to you than it did to him because he's not acting like you mean that much to him, you know?

    Not recognizing this dynamic keeps you in insecurity/jealousy mode.

    When you're doing more of the trying to keep your relationship together than they are, then they've already checked out of it on a fundamental level and are keeping you around for convenience and laziness' sake.

    Here's the thing though: why do you insist upon being in a relationship with someone you cannot trust? When you look in the mirror, do you like the person you have to become in order to keep this guy?

    I mean, even though you two get along famously doesn't mean that he wants to build a future with you. It could mean he's just marking time with you because you're willing to be there until someone else more to his liking comes along.

  4. #14
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    Secretly install a tracker on his phone. Where theres smoke theres fire. Note this is illegal but my god its satisfying. If you dont have his password gift him a new phone with the tracker already installed.
    100% chance after a month you will know how awful he his and have no regrets about ending it.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You keep advising that in almost every post/thread. Are you selling them?
    Originally Posted by AngelaTaylor
    Secretly install a tracker on his phone. If you dont have his password gift him a new phone with the tracker already installed.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by brooke000
    How do you think I should have handled the situation?
    You walk away.

    When there is no trust, regardless of whether or not he is fueling your distrust, you have NOTHING.

    I mean seriously, how can you have a relationship with a man you don't trust, and why would you want to?

    Again, regardless of whether he is doing anything to fuel it.

    Walk away and work on you, your jealousy, insecurity and trust issues, otherwise you will have a very difficult time attracting and maintaining a good positive healthy relationship with any man.

    Learn from this.

  8. #17
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    These are all maturity issues.
    A happy birthday text doesnt have to mean I want you back.. it just means Happy birthday.
    Has he cheated? Doesnt sound like he has given you a real reason not to trust, you are just over reacting.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by AngelaTaylor
    Secretly install a tracker on his phone. Where theres smoke theres fire. Note this is illegal but my god its satisfying. If you dont have his password gift him a new phone with the tracker already installed.
    100% chance after a month you will know how awful he his and have no regrets about ending it.
    Shes 18. Thats absurd. you were obviously burned... but they are just young.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by brooke000

    Insident 1:We were together for one month at the time, and it was his birthday. A few weeks later, I find out that his ex-girlfriend texted him happy birthday. By ex-girlfriend I mean his summer fling from 3 years ago, but he claims she was his first love and from what he told me they havenít kept in touch. I asked to see the texts and basically the reason he was hiding the texts from me was that he told her and I quote ďIíd love for us to meet over the summer ❤️❤️ď.
    You were only dating one month, were you exclusive? How did you find out? I am assuming you didn't snoop since you asked to see the texts, so if HE told you (which I am guessing is what happened), and then proceeds to hide the texts, then yes he's playing games, and after only one month, I may have dumped him for that.

    Originally Posted by brooke000

    Insident 2: A few months later he tells me that he texted a girl friend of his from school. I asked to see the texts and after one hour of me insisting, he showed them to me. At first the chat was pretty standard and then came the ďIím going to miss you more than anyone else❤️ď.
    Why the he** is he telling you these things? I mean what's his point? Is he consciously trying to get you jealous? I mean by telling you, of course he knows you are going to question and ask to see them, so it's like he wanted you to see that he texted her ďIím going to miss you more than anyone else❤️ď.

    I would be seriously questioning all of this, nevermind the trust issue, he sounds very manipulative and almost like he wants to keep you off balance, jealous and doubting.

    Otherwise, why mention any of it?

    Personally I would get rid.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The OP has not been here in 7 months.
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    You walk away.
    The thread was dredged up by this, lol:
    Originally Posted by AngelaTaylor
    Secretly install a tracker on his phone. Note this is illegal but my god its satisfying. If you dont have his password gift him a new phone with the tracker already installed.

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