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Me and my boyfriend have a 25 year age gap, things are very hard right now, he is leaving his girlfriend and we are moving out in a few months, coming up with the money is hard and telling my family is even worse, don’t know when to tell them or what to say, I’m 18 he’s 43, anyone who has experienced this please give me advice on how to tell them

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I too advise you to rethink this. This guy is old enough to be your father. I suspect he sees a sweet young thing he can get into bed and have a good time with, sexually. 25 years is too far apart for it to have much chance of working out. You've got stars in your eyes. Your life is all ahead of you, you should be finishing up high school, heading to college or uni, dating various people, going to parties, hanging out with friends, travelling wherever you fancy. Not planning to live with some much older guy who will probably cheat on you before long and you will wonder what the hell happened. You are making a big mistake. Your family will have every reason to freak out and be angry with you.

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I too advise you to rethink this. This guy is old enough to be your father. I suspect he sees a sweet young thing he can get into bed and have a good time with, sexually. 25 years is too far apart for it to have much chance of working out. You've got stars in your eyes. Your life is all ahead of you, you should be finishing up high school, heading to college or uni, dating various people, going to parties, hanging out with friends, travelling wherever you fancy. Not planning to live with some much older guy who will probably cheat on you before long and you will wonder what the hell happened. You are making a big mistake. Your family will have every reason to freak out and be angry with you.

 

Yeah you’re right, I’m working full time at the moment, I’ve been denying my feelings for so long they are so hard to shake..

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My son is almost 21 and if a 43 year old woman went after him I would kick her butt up between her shoulders. This is the time in your life to be carefree . Not manipulated by someone much older and much more skilled at manipulating and controlling people .

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Oh my goodness..so many wrong things with this. Why on earth would you want a man who could be your father? Did you know that age gaps this far apart have a 99% chance of not working?

Why?

Because you are not in the same place in life what so ever. You will want different things, you have different life experiences, different thoughts on things, different perspectives, you were born in completely different times.

As time passes you will grow further apart and those differences will become more and more.

 

He cheated to be with you? Very high chance that he will cheat on you down the line as well.

Obviously you're going to do what you want, but you will see that what I am saying is correct. This will eventually fail.

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This has doom all over it. Cheater, and toooooooo old.

 

If he will cheat on her, what makes you think he won't do the same to you?

 

Do you plan to get an education?

 

I work full time will be fully qualified in two years and have a trust I’m putting into a business, thank you....

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Please walk away now!

 

My ex cheated with a work collegue.He was 38, she was 19 and married. I threw him out when I found out.

 

They got married & while married I found him on a dating site.

 

She then cheated with a new Boss. They are now divorced.

 

If your relationship starts on a rocky base there will never be any trust. You will always be wondering if he is doing anythign behind your back.

 

Break up with him & live your life. You deserve so much more than him

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I work full time will be fully qualified in two years and have a trust I’m putting into a business, thank you....

 

Qualified for what?

 

Why are you doing something that you are ashamed of telling your family? Do you think that they will be happy and supportive of this? I also suggest that you tell them everything. Will be much worse when they find out down the road.

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So he's 43 and has no money? And you're getting a trust fund in 2 years? And you're going to blow it on a business? I'm not concerned about the age gap as much as I'm concerned you're being taken for a ride and you're going to have nothing in a couple of years.

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OP, this man is far too old for you. Not only that, he is low-quality if he's been cheating on his partner with you, a girl young enough to be his own daughter.

 

Why doesn't he have any money?

 

You are too young and naive to see it, but you are are about to make a gigantic mistake with your life.

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No he has no idea about the trust I’m running my own business and yes he does have money... Jesus he’s not a ing villain

 

OP, your inherent inexperience at your age doesn't permit you to see that he is not a good person.

 

He cheats. He lies. He was 41 when he started talking to a 16-year-old. There is something very, very wrong with this picture.

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Me and my boyfriend have a 25 year age gap, things are very hard right now, he is leaving his girlfriend and we are moving out in a few months, coming up with the money is hard and telling my family is even worse, don’t know when to tell them or what to say, I’m 18 he’s 43, anyone who has experienced this please give me advice on how to tell them

 

How long has he been with his girlfriend? Where do you both live? What kind of money do you need to come up with?

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The human brain isn't fully mature until about aged 25, basically in the decision making area, the pre-frontal cortex. Listen to people who are beyond this mark and have more life experience than you. Couples who have an age gap of 20 years or more have a 95 percent failure rate. Look around you, and you will see that most of the successful couples you see are closer in age, because that's what works better because of being in similar life stages.

 

And if you think you're so special that he wouldn't start up with another woman while living with you, you're wrong. A person's ethics usually don't change. He did his gf dirty, no matter the excuses he gave you, which players always do, and he'll do you dirty too. Enjoy the freedom of youth. You have so many years down the road to settle down after gaining some life experience so that you can make wiser choices.

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I can't say I have much experience with 40+ year olds chatting me up as a romantic prospect when I was 16, much less those who were cheating on their partner during that time. I'm not sure how I can put it nicely, but it is out of genuine concern that I suggest perhaps not throwing your trust money into a business if this is any reflection of the state and quality of your decision making. I would, however, suggest putting some of that money into a reputable therapist to help you navigate why any of this was ever considered an option so that you can then grow and learn as someone entering adulthood should have the opportunity to.

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